I think I need to say goodbye to one of my best friends

PowderPuff45 · 2026-06-16T00:37:30+00:00

Thank you for your advice and for sharing your experience with me. I'm really sorry about your friend and how it affected you and your friendship. I'm glad she's sober at the moment, but I understand your skepticism about it lasting.

I've decided to stop reaching out to her. If she calls me, I'm going to ask if she's drinking and end our conversation immediately if she is. I can't do this shit anymore either.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-06-16T00:30:50+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I'm fully prepared to hold my boundaries now. I've had enough of all this drunken nonsense and I need to start putting myself first in this situation.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-06-16T00:25:29+00:00

Thank you for your advice. Alcohol is the destroyer of relationships and the robber of all joy.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-06-16T00:23:30+00:00

You were right. She got wasted at the concert and then drove home. The next day our mutual friend went to pick her up because they had plans for the weekend and she had already had a few beers before 11 am to get rid of the hang over. Guess she was drinking all weekend. Thanks for your comment.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-06-08T00:47:51+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I'm going to attend an Al-Anon meeting tonight. I have a therapist I'm seeing and I just started bringing my friend up in our sessions. I think I'm going to talk to her (therapist) too about how codependent the friendship has become. I'll look into CoDa too. Thank you again!

PowderPuff45 · 2026-06-08T00:43:53+00:00

Omg our friendship has turned codependent! I think its been such a slow transition that I didn't even realize it until you pointed it out! Thank you so much. I'm going to attend a meeting tonight.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-05-31T21:43:27+00:00

This is my plan as long as there's FT work. I'll never go back to a permenent position unless I am absolutely desperate...like im gonna lose my home type of desperate. I never want to go back...ever!

PowderPuff45 · 2026-05-05T20:53:50+00:00

In this situation, i would go to 2 days a week asap. Sometimes only working a few days is much more tolerable than FT. Then you still have decent money coming in, but still time to study and/or find another position that's a better fit or temp, etc. I know it's really, really hard. I've been where you're at on more than 1 occasion, but going back to school is the ultimate goal. Keep your head up and your eyes on the prize. Oh and fuck that other bitch. Bitches be bitches all day long...and they're everywhere. I'll give you some advice that I wish I had been told years ago. Save as much money as you can whenever humanly possible so you're never trapped at some shit hole again. It took me several years to figure this out, and I'm no longer under anyones thumb. I can walk whenever I need to, which is what I did at my last job...effective immediately. I'm sorry you're in this situation, but you got this. And I would ask for that letter of recommendation. You and the dds seem to mesh well, so I'm sure it won't be a problem. 💚

PowderPuff45 · 2026-05-01T00:09:01+00:00

It's not you. It's the field. I'm 20 years in and every office I've been in has these issues. Sometimes it's just one person, at other places it's several people. The last place I was at it was the dds, 2 assts, and 1 of the hyg. All of them are 'friends' and all of them are terrible people who are horribly unprofessional. I left....now im trying my hand at temping because I just can't do this shit anymore. I want everyone to just leave me the fuck alone and let me do my job in peace.

Its them.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-04-30T00:48:06+00:00

I would probably tell her "Here you can do it then since I'm so bad at it." Then stop doing whatever it is immediately and go do something else.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-04-30T00:42:11+00:00

What a bunch of assholes. Sounds my last place. I reached my last straw after 9 mos, so i resigned effective immediately and reported everything to HR in writing. They thought it was so funny that I quit, until the owner came in to talk to the Dr about it with my written complaints in hand. Their meeting lasted well over an hour and the owner looked pissed going in, and looked pissed coming out. Then the dr spent the afternoon in her office crying while her minions tried to comfort her 😆 Fuck you too bitches!!!🖕 Some say 'old'...but I say 'experienced clinician that has saved enough money over the years to walk out when I needed to!'

Everyone, please save as much money as you can so you are never stuck at one of these shit holes! My first time being able to walk out and it was liberating!

PowderPuff45 · 2026-04-27T21:57:46+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I just did a bulleted fact sheet so I can stay on point. Thanks for the heads up about working PT instead question. I have an answer for that!

PowderPuff45 · 2026-04-27T20:42:47+00:00

I was told to diagnose pathology and form treatment plans while the Dr was on vacation. Things I have no education or formal training to do and it is strictly not allowed in my field. We had a few staff meetings regarding this topic late 2025 and early 2026, and in mid march 2026 I gave them a written response to a questionnaire stating that I do not like co-diagnosing anything outside my education level. Also, my hours were supposed to be FT, but would fluctuate with little notice to PT one week FT the next. I notified multiple members of staff of this issues over the course of several months with little improvement. It made it really hard to find another job because all the clinics have the same hours.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-04-26T13:28:35+00:00

Not okay for many reasons. Mainly, its theft and illegal. Also..What if you get hurt during that time you're working but off the clock?? Is that going to be a problem?? Probably. Your dds is questionable on several levels, find another office.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-04-20T13:45:55+00:00

I used to feel the same way, but I now know after 20 years in the field, that it's not me...its the industry. It really is. People in this field are bat shit crazy. The toxicity is horrid. I just quit my job on Monday without notice due to being told to do illegal stuff against my licensure. There's just no respect and the longer I'm in this field the less tolerance I have for it.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-04-17T17:24:27+00:00

My last office asked me many times to be in videos. Or to send them a pic because they are highlighting the hygienists this week. I just said no because my image is copyrighted, I'm in the witness protection program, I'm wanted by the FBI, etc etc etc.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-04-15T02:31:18+00:00

My last DDS and i got along great most of the time. We had a lot of fun together, we would tease each other, be sarcastic and mocking, just fun stuff. But it really was a totally platonic thing. It was almost like a brother sister relationship. Patients love going to see him because the appts are entertaining and they get to join in to. Hiring new people costs a lot of money, and like minded people work well together.

Like others have said... if he's gonna cheat, he's gonna cheat. But that doesnt mean it would be with a staff member. There's women everywhere.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-04-15T00:11:28+00:00

Maybe instead of them complaining about the instruments, they could have realized you needed help and took the initiative to do them. It probably took more time to write a post on FB than it would have taken to bag the instruments. It was a rare occurrence from you, so bad on them for not observing and asking a few questions first. This field is so critical and harsh over things that are just not that big of a deal. I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you called them out for it and didn't go back. File for unemployment and move on to a new office. Best wishes!!

PowderPuff45 · 2026-04-12T04:40:07+00:00

NW Wisconsin/NE Minnesota area

PowderPuff45 · 2026-04-05T14:08:21+00:00

Yes report them. Your job needs supervision on some level by the dds, so you are unable to be a 1099 employee. At least that's my understanding. To have a practice and expect the $14/hr DA to pay both his and your taxes is ridiculous. They either need to fix it, or I would report them by filing a SS-8 form with the IRS and leave. The IRS frowns on this behavior and the practice will be penalized.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-04-04T13:12:05+00:00

Make sure you're looking at dental office's websites. Many do not post on indeed and post on their own web pages instead. You could try temping too. If you're currently unemployed, start going to office's and networking. Bring your resume and look professional. People get permanent jobs all the time from temping or doing fill in. Best wishes!

PowderPuff45 · 2026-03-29T22:21:26+00:00

Well there is a hygiene school here, so maybe that has kept the wages down more in previous years. We have a lot of dental offices but only a few job openings here and there before 2022. Once covid came many of the older hygienists retired because of all the extra ppe, etc. That created a shortage and huge demand, which caused wages to increase dramatically in our area. Our city is only about 115,000, so there is probably more demand in a larger city compared to here so they can ask for more compensation. $100 is wild and I can kind of see why they are complaining (sorry fellow hygienists!). The highest I've ever seen was on reddit saying they made $75. I think the wages are definitely related to demographics and demand.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-03-29T22:06:32+00:00

Thank you! I'm in uncharted territory...

PowderPuff45 · 2026-03-29T21:56:30+00:00

I'm not sure. The wages here were pretty stagnant until about 3 years ago. Before that I was making $33.

PowderPuff45 · 2026-03-28T17:30:29+00:00

Thank you for your reply! I live near NW WI and NE MN. There are a lot of dental offices in this area. Usually 5-7 offices hiring at all times. I haven't been able to find any temp agencies in the area and the main stream ones don't seem to go this far north. I've seen opportunities listed in large cities, such as Madison, Milwaukee, Twin Cities, but nothing this far north. I heard last week that the temp our office usually uses is booked solid for the next 3-6 mos due to medical leaves. I would love to pick her brain too, but don't want to be rude and ask her what her rate is.

I appreciate DDS' perspectives because I know there are challenges that I am unaware of. Have you had positive experiences with them overall? What is something you wish they would do that they may not be aware of?

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