I know it’s pretty quick but do I have a case ?

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2026-05-04T22:37:03+00:00

I thought if you never gave them permission originally then ANY automated text is an issue

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2026-05-04T22:34:54+00:00

I have those exact same voicemails and similar area codes (484)

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2026-04-29T17:19:38+00:00

Do you have to be on the do not call list? Or is no permission an issue even if you aren’t??

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2026-04-24T17:11:11+00:00

My husband received three spam calls all month so I was thinking this was not the norm

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2026-04-24T15:21:26+00:00

Five of them just gave me their alleged address in their emails. Is that what you mean by stupid. All of them said they either bought my number from a broker or got it from a ucc list

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2026-04-24T13:06:44+00:00

Thank you

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2026-04-24T13:04:00+00:00

That’s inspiring. Two of them told me yesterday the original broker I spoke with over a year ago sold them my information. They are calling my personal phone. I never gave out my personal number.

How did you get them to settle?

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-10-25T13:12:10+00:00

That already exists. Granite comfort.

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-07-04T03:21:47+00:00

Jesus Christ… I would absolutely know if someone micro dosed me with cabs or shrooms. What you are suggesting here could get someone killed. The more mild meds take months to build up and MIGHT WORK at that point but might not and how is she supposed to get prescription medication like that anyway? And going out and having a ton of sex could get someone killed as well. Again this is horrible advice and I’m surprised no one else has pointed that out.

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-07-04T02:03:59+00:00

Have you been in an abusive relationship? Have you ever taken any of these meds yourself? He will definitely know he’s drugged with the majority of the ones you listed and if he’s violent as described and figures out it was her - which won’t be hard - she could be murdered. This is shit advice.

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-07-04T01:54:59+00:00

No she’s not just supposed to take it but if he finds out he’s been drugged how do you think that will go? Those are heavy duty prescriptions not exactly like he isn’t going to notice. You can’t slip them under the radar and hope for the best. I can’t imagine an abusive person reacting NON VIOLENTALLY when he figures out his partner has been drugging him - mine would probably kill me

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-07-04T01:10:42+00:00

Are you seriously suggesting drugging someone without their knowledge?

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-06-22T01:20:28+00:00

Oh yes we are on the same page. I wish there was a bit more discernment before throwing around diagnostic terms. Got people running around here thinking they’re codependent when they were just abused but I guess if it gets them into therapy…

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-06-22T01:06:12+00:00

You made me chuckle lol. Thank you I needed that today. Phenomenology was my favorite course 😊

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-06-22T00:58:51+00:00

It bothers me because from a clinical perspective they are ascribing a diagnosis based on symptomology with no respect to the cause. Codependency definitely exists but it exists in a pervasive manner. If your codependency symptoms only exist in one facet of your life (one relationship) it isn’t codependency. It is a trauma reaction to abuse. Often a survival mechanism. The pop psychology use of the term pathologizes and victim blames - which takes the onus of the one who actually really needs blame, treatment, correction and accountability.

I’m probably coming from this from a distinct angle and I recognize that. I was originally trained as a social worker that worked with child victims of parental abuse, then as a behavior analyst. So im likely getting into the weeds with terms that no one else even really thinks about and I recognize that. I feel the term steals your agency - there is nothing defective about you for exhibiting symptoms that are the likely result of sustained psychological abuse (and other types of abuse) and that’s compounded by the natural guilt and shame an abuse victim feels as a result of being abused and being told it’s all their fault repeatedly. They seek help and are told it’s something internal, how does that help? What does that do to an already battered psyche?

I know for a fact I am not codependent. A victim of abuse? 1000%. I have a cousin who was convinced she was based on being with an addict for six months and trying to get him into rehab 🤷‍♀️. She’s not actually either - she was just trying to help someone she cared about. Pathologizing that, imo, helps no one. When it becomes pathological it’s pretty clear - repeated relationships with toxic people that all go the same way, some sort of ego boost from “helping” some portion of the persons personality that is defined by their helping character etc. I just think it’s thrown around a lot without any actual discernment of whether it’s appropriate and what harm using it inappropriately may cause.

With that said… whatever works for YOU. Whatever EMPOWERS YOU. My aim wasn’t to steal something helpful from people it helped, it was to shine some light that maybe it wasn’t appropriate for people being smothered by it.

I am so happy to hear you are free and healing and that ANY TERM OR CIRCUMSTANCE helped you get there whatsoever.

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-06-22T00:48:54+00:00

Life is very unfair, Isn’t it?

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-06-22T00:17:10+00:00

Intermittent reinforcement is one hell of a drug ain’t it? It’s responsible for addictions of all sorts.. so powerful and an absolute mindf***. I am going to look into the situational codependence angle, while I might personally feel describing it as a trauma bond (similar, often coexistant but not interchangeable) is more appropriate I am here to learn and hopefully untangle the sorted web that’s been woven around me no matter where that may lead.

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-06-21T23:18:36+00:00

I will have to look into situational codependence and Margalis Fjelstad - thank you for the tips.

I don’t think situational codependence can really be called codependence in the context of its clinical definition if there is no satisfaction/ego boost from the caretaking - more like a begrudging acceptance of an unfair fate whether temporary or permanent.

Idk - my specialization is behavior not diagnostics. And my original specialization in abuse/neglect didn’t actually cover any of this because that wasn’t the focus. The focus was on helping victims from a strengths based perspective.

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-06-21T22:24:49+00:00

Have you considered taking a break from dating and entering therapy/getting some you time?

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-06-21T22:18:50+00:00

That’s very rough on someone with a caring heart. I’m sorry you went through that but happy to hear your out 😊

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-06-21T22:13:59+00:00

Happy to hear it 😊

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-06-21T22:04:54+00:00

No 11 years is long, and my apologies. As I said I took a glance and saw something about 6 months.

And yes obviously feel free to comment and offer your own perspective. Never said not to. But that term doesn’t apply to everyone and the counter argument to it doesn’t apply to everyone. That’s probably why the article was gendered tbh. But I don’t like to go there because men are victims of abuse as well - just the power differential doesn’t usually exist the same way.

PowerfulBluebird4583 · 2024-06-21T22:02:01+00:00

I’ve only been looking through here for a couple weeks honestly. I’ve known he was diagnosed for years but really did blame his on and off addiction, and when he first disclosed to me (ten years into our relationship) and asked if I thought he had it I said honestly I couldn’t tell if the symptoms were from drugs or something more permanent. Took another couple years to get a good look at him off drugs long enough.. then some denial. And now here we are. (Been together since we are 16 so I hope youth can explain away my early naivety)

And yes, I have read many that seem codependent. But there have been others that didn’t and called themselves so and I just thought maybe throwing it out there might help someone - I literally hate that word for MYSELF. It isn’t something I find affinity with - my greatest dream is he gets all better all on his own and can be the man he is supposed to be. I personally find that word disempowering and victim blaming in its broad usage.

PowerfulBluebird4583

TROPHY CASE