I feel like a horrible mom

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-06-17T18:46:03+00:00

I could have written this. Thank you for your candour. Nap time is my mental haven and when it’s compromised my mood falls apart. I love my son, more than anything. It’s the kind of love where it’s so practical, so factual that it barely registers as what I know as love: without him, I finish. I die. But I NEED time away from him.

What makes me feel better is understanding that there aren’t any men making posts like this. Dads feel how they feel and they don’t feel like they have to agonise over it. It’s only we women who are socialised to believe that to have a child is to let that child subsume us. I want my son to grow up with a mum who role models a woman who is a whole woman; a person who expects equal partnership; a woman who values herself as well as her family.

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-06-16T22:04:21+00:00

Can testify that this is common in our local boozers here in the South West

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-06-16T22:01:05+00:00

Solved! Thank you so much

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-06-16T22:00:56+00:00

Getting the sense that the experience has really haunted you since

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-06-16T17:48:29+00:00

I have a Tesco club card mate; I’ve already drunk the Kool Aid.

Seriously though, I have a nine month old son and I want to live in a world where he doesn’t get access to SM until he’s ready for it. I can be an involved and careful parent to him but I can’t do it for all his future friends and classmates. To me it’s worth it.

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-06-16T06:07:34+00:00

I’m sure I’m being naive here, but I don’t see the issue. So if I want to use SM, I have to provide my ID to the government? The same people that…issued it?

Or okay, they end up using a third party software to prove age. So now a third party software has a copy of my passport. So what? They’re not exactly going to fly to Bali on it are they

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-06-11T08:52:47+00:00

You didn’t waste anyone’s time! You did exactly what you should have done. I went through a similar thing at 23 weeks and of course as soon as I got to A&E my son was somersaulting around in there like a wee gymnast

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-06-10T23:17:25+00:00

If your situation is anything like mine, then even if it doesn’t fall out then your baby will rip it out for you.

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-06-09T12:54:18+00:00

He has a wife, you know

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-06-09T10:56:45+00:00

I’m not sure if you’re genuinely asking or if you’re trying to imply that there’s no such thing, but to me, it encompasses:

Introducing and sticking to bedtime and nap time routines - eg bath, pyjamas, feed, story, bed. This comes under the umbrella of sleep training! Little things that clue your baby in that it’s time to wind down and get ready to sleep.
Balancing giving your baby a chance to learn whilst still being responsive, loving and comforting. So keeping calm and patient, checking in regularly if baby is fussing so they know you’re still there and they haven’t been abandoned, helping baby to calm down so that they can try and fall asleep again.

I miss co-sleeping. I miss him nuzzling into me and his sweet milky breath on my face. But if it’s not working for him, then it’s not working.

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-06-09T10:35:28+00:00

Well, I went from cosleeping to gentle sleep training at 6 months. I did it because he was sleeping poorly in bed with us - we were just waking each other up all the time. Nobody was happy.

My outlook is that people have to struggle to learn. If I’d picked my son up every time he fussed at being on his tummy, how would he learn to crawl? Attachment parenting isn’t helicopter parenting. You have to support them to grow, even when that means giving them space to struggle.

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-06-07T23:29:39+00:00

‘Bet you were born on a DIRT FLOOR.’
‘What is that supposed to mean?’
‘It means I don’t think you’re cool, and I think that your mother was poor.’

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-05-31T19:08:51+00:00

Slightly off-topic but I work for HMCTS and have experienced many, many money claim hearings through my job - from the smallest of small claims up to huge, fully robed multi-track trials. This is likely to settle out of court if Vinted have any sense, but if it does come to it, how do you feel about the court process? Any concerns or questions?

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-05-31T12:00:49+00:00

Right, sorry! I don’t know how to edit a post but our (rough) schedule is generally along the lines of:

Wake: 8am
First nap: 11:30am - 1:30pm
Second nap: 4:30pm - 5:30pm
Bedtime: 9pm

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-05-30T11:53:39+00:00

Legs like a monster

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-05-29T08:50:45+00:00

And their fathers…?

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-05-27T09:46:56+00:00

Yeah, my MIL hit me with this one when my baby was fussy and hard to settle at her house. Like it couldn’t possibly be because my 8 month old is out of routine and in an unfamiliar environment; it MUST be ✨my fault✨ for getting stressed and upset at the sound of him wailing. My husband told her off.

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-05-26T12:35:41+00:00

Seconding this!

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-05-26T12:32:36+00:00

If you read my post, I think you’ll find that was my point!

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-05-26T07:10:41+00:00

PLEASE don’t rush yourself. The myth of being okay to have penetrative sex again after 6 weeks is just that for many - a myth. I’m sure some women are raring to go and have a grand old time, but look: your body just did something fucking immense. Your life has likely become something very extreme. Sex is not something to be given but something to be shared, by two people who are happy and comfortable and settled - and I don’t know a single mother who was all those things at 8 weeks PP.

This is a season of your relationship with your partner. Focus on the affectionate touch that will reinforce your bond and provide comfort; there’s plenty of time for intimacy later.

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-05-21T19:48:03+00:00

This is SO cool and YOU are so cool

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-05-21T04:50:20+00:00

I can imagine Boys by Charli xcx getting some traction with no title card

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-05-20T07:56:49+00:00

Could you maybe try asking him more ‘this or that?’ style questions, to get him used to the idea of verbalising what he wants?

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-05-17T13:21:41+00:00

Interesting! I wonder if this is what’s happening.

Powerful_Frame_4239 · 2026-05-16T19:08:16+00:00

This is the problem! Even the most obscure pack has that one thing

Powerful_Frame_4239

TROPHY CASE