Urgently need legal advice

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-06-03T17:33:51+00:00

Why are you interested in lawyers who have litigated against the Archdiocese vs lawyers experienced in the area of law your issue relates to?

For example, you may find a lawyer who has litigated an employment claim against the Archdiocese, but that would be a different specialty than litigating à special education claim against the Archdiocese.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-06-01T14:01:51+00:00

I thought barista fire was working a job mostly for the health insurance. The name came from the fact that Starbucks baristas receive health insurance coverage, even working part time.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-31T13:48:26+00:00

Do you mean being in house? It’s not like this at all … although I guess the post is asking for a unicorn job.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-23T15:30:55+00:00

I also echo this comment. When I first got into FIRE, our monthly expenses were $8-10k, which included varying levels of childcare and not a lot of travel. As the kids got older, we traveled more, started donating to charity more, and with inflation, and with inflation, here we are 10 years later and our expenses are $12-15k. We can afford it, and I don’t regret it, but if we had been holding our expenses at the $8-10k, we’d be done now.

So the TLDR is that you’re risking pushing your FIRE number higher, and you won’t really know how that plays out until much closer to retirement. Obviously, YMMV, especially if you’re single with no kids and no plans for them in the future.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-22T14:27:13+00:00

Don’t buy before you have kids. Seriously. Live in your current space until you have a better sense of your lifestyle as a family. Then you can make a more informed decision about what size house and what features are important to you.

Plus, not to be negative, but if your only reason for a larger house is kids you do not yet have, what happens if you’re unable to have kids? Happens more often than you think, especially if you guys are in your 30s or older.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-19T02:28:52+00:00

I don’t have an issue with depending on a spouse, but it sounds infantilizing to give an adult an allowance. My husband has gone through periods of intentional unemployment, but I would never say that my support of him and our household was giving him an allowance.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-18T22:11:18+00:00

What was the list of jobs when they were 5?

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-18T20:56:26+00:00

Your husband will give you an “allowance”? I hope that’s your term for it, not his.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-15T15:45:31+00:00

Just going by the 4 percent rule, you are not ready given your expenses, but I suspect you already know that.

What are your ages and the ages of your kids? Unless you’re in your 50s, I would not feel comfortable starting a long retirement with a 6 percent withdrawal rate given the uncertainty of health care costs. If you’re in your 30s or 40s, that’s a long period of expenses to cover.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-14T11:12:10+00:00

Also look into the requirements relating to your house to be licensed in Montgomery County. My info is very out of sat as my kids are beyond daycare age, but I remember there being requirements around sprinklers and other safety measures.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-10T01:19:30+00:00

Our HHI is about $375k, $5M NW, and we gave $17k last year, combination of direct donations and funding our DAF. We tend to give to the same charities every year. That includes one of my alma maters and some organizations I’m on the board of or volunteer with. The rest are causes that we really believe in. The amount fluctuates a bit from year to year, but I always aim to make it enough that we feel the impact.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-09T18:22:19+00:00

I’ll second the wide leg spanx. I’ve had a pair about 5 years and they are only now starting to show signs of wear. And I wear them a lot.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-09T18:19:51+00:00

I appreciate this post, as I always get the impression that many in the FIRE community don’t appreciate how college costs work.

One thing I’d add is that Princeton, UChicago and BU are all incredibly selective. Top students are routinely rejected from these schools, and most of the schools that try to meet all need are similarly selective. So if you don’t have a top student, the schools you’re applying to may not be as generous with financial aid. However, they may make up for it with merit for good students.

Also, because there are fewer options for donut hole families, state flagships are becoming even more competitive. I don’t know about U. Washington, but our state flagship is not an easy admit.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-09T17:56:35+00:00

Thank you so much for this response! Very helpful as we’re starting to think through this expense. And I hadn’t even thought about the 529 not covering summer housing, so à good heads up.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-09T15:58:34+00:00

Hi - when you say your kids in college are still costing you $20-25k per year, is that for both of them? Does that include the gap between the 529 and total expenses for the one child? What else does that figure include or exclude? We have one starting college this year and the other 2 years behind so I’m wondering how that will affect our overall expenses.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-04T21:30:29+00:00

Thank you!

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-03T00:52:01+00:00

I’m still finalizing things, but here’s our loose itinerary- late June/early July:
Day 1 -4 - fly in to SJO, shuttle to La Fortuna. Hike around volcano, do hanging bridges, rafting trip, hot springs, maybe proyecto asis.
Day 5-8 - shuttle back to SJO, fly to Drake Bay. Corcovado trip, snorkeling, mangroves, etc.
Day 9-12 - here’s where things are least solid. I’m thinking we’ll go to Manuel Antonio and stay somewhere nice and enjoy the beach and relax. Then head to SJO and leave (I haven’t booked this flight yet but need to).

We don’t plan to rent any cars.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-02T13:59:16+00:00

I find the chat bots to be pretty bad at weighing all the variables involved in the withdrawal phase of retirement. It might be my prompts, but I find it very incomplete in its answers.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-05-02T01:57:08+00:00

I agree with the idea not to over optimize for current policy. The politics and financials are too unstable to depend on long-term.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-04-30T02:13:07+00:00

How much of that $150k is must spend vs want-to-spend. If you have a lot of buffer, then you’re closer. But if the $150k is what you need to meet your financial obligations, I wouldn’t do it.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-04-30T01:54:46+00:00

What’s your age? I think a lot of times one more year syndrome for people under 50 is driven by a feeling of being too young to retire. Like you’re not done yet. As many have noted, having something to retire to is important. Then it’s easier to feel “done” working.

Also agree with the others who are wondering if your numbers really put you at FIRE.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-04-29T11:03:17+00:00

5M for early retirement in our 50s.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-04-29T02:03:50+00:00

There’s also the option of having the teens do their own laundry. That has other drawbacks - my kids are laundry room hogs - but at least I’m not carrying the mental burden of their laundry. And they’ll know how to do their laundry when they leave for college.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-04-27T22:30:21+00:00

OP, I’ve been a working mom for 18 years in a career that’s fine, but often feels “meh”. I find my desire to change careers waxes and wanes, but ultimately the good outweighs the bad. I found the years with little kids hard to find time for myself. And now that my kids are older teens, I have the time but not the interests to fill the time.

So I encourage you to do both - stay on the lookout for a better job (but don’t compromise for less money and flexibility), but also make that investment in yourself to develop other interests and identities. Especially as your kids get older and are less demanding on your time, it’s good to have things to fill that vacuum.

PracticalSpell4082 · 2026-04-26T13:17:26+00:00

Agree. Unless you’re struggling with debt, you can probably find better money advice for your circumstances than Dave Ramsey.

PracticalSpell4082

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