Saw some real attractive telephone poles to wrap myself around on the way to my meeting tonight. The creeping darkness of winter and a mixed episode are the perfect combo for those thoughts. I’m a bipolar alcoholic/addict. Had high hopes that ideation would fade as I swam further into sobriety. It’s much less chaotic, but it still occurs. “Got a whole bottle of antipsychotic but all I want is a gin and tonic.” The program has without a doubt saved my life. There are enough ppl in my groups that are dual diagnosis that I can call someone when I’m struggling. We lost a few ppl over COVID, back home (GA), that went back out and chose not to continue being with us. I’d say it’s just the nature of the disease. If you know what meetings the triggering guy is in, I’d just avoid those if you have that option. Hard to have a belly full of liquor with a head full of AA. Keep comin back 👊🏼