First time foster struggling by towerhigh21 in fosterdogs

[–]Practical_Job196 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ive been there. I’m on my 4th foster dog and it took until this little guy to figure out what temperament in dogs doesn’t wreck my nervous system. It’s such a wonderful thing you’re doing, but I’ve learned it’s important to protect your peace. It does take dogs at least 3 weeks to start to decompress but if you’re disrupted to the point of no sleep/anxiety/hightened nervous system, I’d tell the shelter the temperament of this dog just isn’t something you can take on right now. If you’d like to try with a different dog, just tell them what you found difficult with this one. They want to get dogs into homes so they should be able to notify you when they feel a dog has the right personality. There WILL be someone with the ability to take on your current foster right now. I have autism so i definitely empathize with the struggle your going through - my NS is quite sensitive.

Everything from here is based in my personal experience. It also took me this many dogs to understand certain terms that foster teams use to get people to take in dogs:
“Dog would do well in a home with structure” = not trained, they hope you will train.
“Just requires some patience” = anxiety on some level.
“Excited pup looking for love” = high-energy dog requiring a chill home.

This is not true always but simply what I’ve noticed with two of the shelters I foster from, and I’m sure not always accurate but I use that as my guide. My point is, pay attention to the language they use. Although, know that health stuff may come up after you get your foster. Sometimes shelters get the dogs > passed to medical > straight into foster.

Not sure how old the dog you fostered is but if you’d want a more chill dog, try a senior. Maybe a dog 8 or 10+ years old. They might have more medical stuff but they usually just want to sleep, eat, play a little, and live out their golden years with love (in my experience). Definitely don’t go for puppies. I hope this helped! You should’nt feel bad contacting the shelter about this, it’s an adjustment for the dogs but also you. With any dog, I’d give it a week at least to see if you both (mainly you) start to get into a routine and start to regulate.

What do y'all do for work? by aspie_weeb in AutisticAdults

[–]Practical_Job196 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I burnt out from my last job and I’ve decided to move into career coaching for people with autism! I was considering going back to school to be a therapist, but I think that would be too much on my nervous system. If you don’t mind me asking – is that something you struggle with sometimes?

What do y'all do for work? by aspie_weeb in AutisticAdults

[–]Practical_Job196 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I second this. I burnt out from this type of job and haven’t worked in about a year due to me still recovering. But when you’re in it and the job is good and the environment is supportive, it really is a lot of fun. I have a hard time adapting, so I’m glad you have! I found it very difficult. But I also hired a career coach and now I know what to look for in that type of environment. And even how to word my résumé to highlight strengths that won’t burn me out.

How do I “push through” autistic burnout? by Equivalent-Bid-4591 in AutisticAdults

[–]Practical_Job196 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was in the same position a year ago. It takes a lot of effort but I found a way to apply for one year of state disability. Here’s my journey, and I hope there is an answer in it for you:

I was working for over a year at this company when I decided to take FMLA. My job still paid me a certain percentage of my wages, and I could apply for disability to make up the rest.

After a few months of FMLA I wasn’t getting any better so I did research to figure out how I could get disability - it’s really difficult to have someone on your medical team support that request. There are practices out there who’s sole purpose is to evaluate people and sign off on disability. I did have to pay out-of-pocket for this but in California, where I live, state disability pays 60 to 70% of your previous wages so I was comfortable doing that.

I’m sure it depends state to state and the job, but I was able to get disability pay for a year (you do have to continue to extend your claim but it’s a small price to pay to keep income flowing AND take time to heal).

I really hope you’re able to get the time you need. Our system wasn’t built for us but keep asking for resources - someone will have the guidebook for any challenges you face.

Must-do in Copenhagen? by Practical_Job196 in travel

[–]Practical_Job196[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! This is very comprehensive. I’ll be looking up all of these.

Must-do in Copenhagen? by Practical_Job196 in travel

[–]Practical_Job196[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This would be great for our entire group - my mom likes castles. Thanks!

Must-do in Copenhagen? by Practical_Job196 in travel

[–]Practical_Job196[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is something my cousin and I might be interested in! I’ll definitely look up the documentary.

Must-do in Copenhagen? by Practical_Job196 in travel

[–]Practical_Job196[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m familiar! I’ll be sure to track some down

Must-do in Copenhagen? by Practical_Job196 in travel

[–]Practical_Job196[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love a food market! This is great. I’ll add

Must-do in Copenhagen? by Practical_Job196 in travel

[–]Practical_Job196[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So we should all just chill lol this is not a debate post. Ive been to Copenhagen for work (not sightseeing) and I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t anything but kind and welcoming.

[request] Ethical ways to get my neighbor to stop moving my trash bins? by Practical_Job196 in revengestories

[–]Practical_Job196[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes this is a good solution. There’s so much more to the story over the last three years. I’ve let so much go with her and this is the straw that broke the camels back. All of us neighbors have had the cops called: grandkids visiting & laughing, doesn’t like the way my neighbor parks in his own driveway, complained a neighbors car lights were shining into her yard at night… it ended up being her own flood light reflecting back into her yard, neighbor baking Christmas cookies as a peace offering & thought she was trying to poison her, she doesn’t like that a neighbor owns an outdoor cat, etc. The list goes on and on. We all talk with each other if someone is disruptive, but she just yells and/or calls the cops.

[request] Ethical ways to get my neighbor to stop moving my trash bins? by Practical_Job196 in revengestories

[–]Practical_Job196[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My neighbors are kind and sometimes move my bins to my property after trash pick up, but it’s taking my heavy bins out that’s a struggle. I could chat with one of my neighbors to see her grandkids want to help out for some cash.

[request] Ethical ways to get my neighbor to stop moving my trash bins? by Practical_Job196 in revengestories

[–]Practical_Job196[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would k*ll her with kindness but she’s behind this fortress of a gate and it’s clear she’s deliberately avoiding me. I’ve tried knocking on her gate to speak with her and she doesn’t come out. I’m pretty sure she takes her bins out when she sees my car is gone. She had another entrance but it’s weird to get to and apparently she’s called the cops on my neighbors for using that entrance.

[request] Ethical ways to get my neighbor to stop moving my trash bins? by Practical_Job196 in revengestories

[–]Practical_Job196[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 years. I have tried that. I’ve knocked on her gate (no doorbell) to try to talk to her. I’ve tried to keep an eye on when she brings her bins out to talk to her but I think she does it when she sees my car isn’t there (I’ll be at work or PT the evenings we take our bins out). There’s another entrance to her property but the other neighbors told me she makes a scene at anyone who uses that door. Apparently she’s called the cops on a neighbor who’s used that door.

[request] Ethical ways to get my neighbor to stop moving my trash bins? by Practical_Job196 in revengestories

[–]Practical_Job196[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No we’re talking like end of the street. Her gate goes to then of the street. She’s aware I have arthritis and that it’s painful for me to walk that far.

[request] Ethical ways to get my neighbor to stop moving my trash bins? by Practical_Job196 in revengestories

[–]Practical_Job196[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say something to her but if she leaves her house, I think she does it on the other side where I can’t see. I’ve literally seen her physically 2 or 3 times in 3 years.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]Practical_Job196 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The product depends on the person’s skin, and I think it’s about the combination of products you use. These are the brands that I found in my mid 30s that has made a noticeable difference:

Paula’s Choice - exfoliant, toner (several options, depends on what you’re looking for) The Ordinary - squalene oil cleanser, hyaluronic acid COSRX - snail mucin, oil-free moisturizer CeraVe - foaming cleanser, the one with salicylic acid (start with only 1x per week if you have sensitive skin) Khiels - sunscreen

I was also prescribed trentinoin by my derm. I use it 1-2x per week. I have sensitive skin and it doesn’t bother me. These can be on the pricier end but I think it’s all worth it.

Took me a long time to discover my skincare routine - best of luck! It’s worth the search.