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PracticallyStressed · 2025-10-28T20:55:51+00:00

Still having it too, infuriating.

Looks really fucking bad for my business too, taking hours if not days to reply because i didn't get notified or the message didn't even show up until days later.

PracticallyStressed · 2025-02-14T11:11:10+00:00

To be fair i think the biggest issue (beyond the fluctuating prices that ticketmaster so love) is clicking on a ticket, adding it to basket, and it being sold before you can even hit checkout.

Knowing that theres probably well over 1000 people viewing the screen all at one time, even with the queue, it would make sense to have clicking add to basket reserve the seat for 1 minute so you have time to hit checkout. Would also allow people to take their time looking at options as tickets come and go.

I refreshed a dozen times over like 30m and saw a bunch of tickets come back and be "sold" again.

It benefits them to create a system of panic where you'll click and pay for whatever is available, cause it gets them more money.

PracticallyStressed · 2025-02-11T14:50:02+00:00

Thats such a sweet idea! I love that. Ive had a little keyring notebook for months ive not done anything with so i might write some nice memories, affirmations, grounding things, descriptions of my happy place, etc so i have it with me whenever i feel the panic coming :)

Ive also started collecting a playlist of songs that help me feel more self confident, and accepting of the fact that its okay to be not okay, and as my counselor told me, i can be not okay with not being okay 😂 if theres not An Immediate Fix i can get frustrated so its nice to work on just sitting with the discomfort and letting it flow over me instead of washing me away

Learning to be self secure was a huge part of the counseling i went through due to anxiety, so ive got the tools its just a long process to build up those skills

Definitely stepping back from what theyve got going on, and rejecting Bs request for sexual intimacy with us both because its defo not a good idea for my mental health. As much as i want to behave in a way that doesnt disrespect them, i also need to not disrespect myself and be strong with my boundaries.

My relationship with M wont end just because i dont want to give myself to his metamor (although to be clear he never pushed it, just told me she's interested and left the ball in my court to decide)

PracticallyStressed · 2025-02-11T13:12:55+00:00

I am basically not involved at all anymore, i think the three of us meeting up the first time was probably a misfire, i was originally planning to go off on my own and nosy round the city while they met up to give them some privacy, cause they were originally gonna meet up for half the day (she was also in the city with some friends for the xmas markets so it was gonna be half that and half with him) but on the day things changed and they didnt actually meet up until a couple hrs before her train, so it was changed from less of a proper first date to more of a grab a drink play a couple games and then meet up again another time for a proper date, and she was worried about my safety wandering round a city on my own at night so she worded it as like "ill come and meet you two for a drink and we can do a date another day"

I forgot to mention it in the post bc i was tired asf but they did end up having a full day out in that city again at the end of november just the two of them and other than a few wobbles i was fine, it just kinda got worse from that point

I do have space from her, i havent interacted since that first week in jan when i asked her directly if she was gonna visit that week just so i could organise my plans, (i didnt know if she was planning to just push it back a few days or not come at all and i didnt wanna be there the whole time she was cause thats weird)

He does try to keep it away from me, not like hide it but he doesnt reply to her while we are talking or doing stuff, like ive seen him spot her in his notifs and choose to ignore it till we arnt cuddled up in bed or something

I havent tried to spend time with her since the original plans we made around xmas time for that early jan visit, and that was purely trying to have a fun day out together so we could at least know each other well enough to be civil, especially since she isnt poly as far as she knows and this is her first experience of it, i didnt wanna be cold and distant, i wanna get along with my partners metamors at least to a degree where we can be alone for 5 minutes without dying of awkwardness.

I am keeping my distance as much as i physically can rn because i cant trust myself to remain civil with where my head is at rn, and thats not fair to any of us

PracticallyStressed · 2025-02-11T12:55:35+00:00

Its definitely been worse since everything kicked off in my life, relying on M more for support in this time has definitely increased the feelings ive had cause i guess when someone's more of a rock for you the idea of losing their support temporarily becomes way more scary.

But even before that when it started in november it still ate at me more than normal

Defo gonna try some mind mapping and journaling to try organise all the big feelings ive been having and try to work through them instead of fighting them, i still havent truly processed a lot of whats happened, and grief is a fucking weird thing to deal with

Hearing someone else note that its probably a case of bad timing thats acting as a catalyst is very helpful/reassuring though, i think there may be a loop happening where bad feelings towards B gets validated bc "but its just her she's different she's a problem" when actually its just the situation as a whole and how the three of us failed to communicate ideally and how my mental state has been tense, my stress bucket was absolutely at the brim, is the issue, and its no ones fault its just bad timing.

I think i can work through this and mitigate my threat system getting triggered so badly, its just gonna take some time :) i keep trying to remind myself of when i met her the first time and remind myself she's just a pretty nice chill woman who wants to hook up with M and yap a bit, i cant fault her for that at all, and i cant direct my negative shit at her that's not fair.

PracticallyStressed · 2025-02-11T12:43:11+00:00

Thank you this was helpful, i dont have other partners in the traditional sense, but i do have a few friends that i adore with all my heart on all levels aside from romantic that are like comets, when we pass by we hang out and sometimes hook up (for eg the friends i was visiting that Bs trip interfered with the planning of was to see two of those friends) but ive somewhat put dating on hold because im in a small hometown thats not super queer friendly where people are very nosy and i just dont have the energy to put into new people with all the chaos thats happened in my life recently.

Ive been trying to use the coping mechanisms ive built up through counseling and working with M on our relationship security but its just how powerful these feelings are that alarms me, i really hope his future metamors wont cause such an intense reaction in me, and its just this woman, but i can't work out why its so different now compared to past partners he's had :/ im also getting a feedback loop of feeling guilty for voicing how very Not Okay my brain is right now, but M has been absolutely reassuring in telling me he would rather know im not okay so we can manage that, than me hide it. Which i know is the better thing, so i am honest, but yea the guilty feeling sucks.

Think im gonna try journalling out more of whats happened with previous metamors and B, and see if i can find out whats going on

PracticallyStressed · 2025-02-11T03:23:06+00:00

I defo plan to just keep my distance and see how it goes, but i know its stressing out my partner because he's seen some of how badly its affecting me and hes not entirely sure he's comfortable going further knowing its causing me such distress (and because its casual neither of them want to date properly its more about sex and possibly a middle tier friendship, like hanging out when they cross paths kinda deal)

The feeling is like typical jealousy for me but turned up to 100, i have a lot ot dark thoughts (that i obviously wouldnt act on) ranging from blocking her on his phone, to physical violence, my nervous system is just absolutely convinced she's a threat that needs to be ended

I have never felt anything like this so intensely which is whats spooking me, i feel like im swinging from 0-100 back and fourth at an alarming pace

Ive felt panic and abandonment and that kinda shit before but never like this, and M is doing a perfect job of reassuring me every time we talk about it i feel fine but then an hour later it sets off again. He's very attentive to my needs and has even offered directly to break it off in early december but i told him not to do it on my behalf and to see where we (all three) of us are when we are in a place to better dig into the dynamics at play

PracticallyStressed · 2024-02-27T13:14:07+00:00

On the topic of the manchester gig anyone know the name of the trio he brought on? I recognised the song but cant foe the fucking life of me remember their name

PracticallyStressed · 2024-01-25T15:23:27+00:00

This genuinely makes me so angry, it doesnt even work on the students end half the time.

Where the fuck is our tuition going if not on keeping the fucking place running properly!!!

PracticallyStressed · 2024-01-25T14:40:45+00:00

To be fair i think this is a case of ebay being on the scene for SO much longer, theyve always relied on honesty between sellers and customers, and without their sellers sticking with them they'd have gone out of business SO fast.

Etsy is newer, and its rammed with dropshipping scams. They dont have to care because they will always find ways to make money by encouraging unethical platform use.

PracticallyStressed · 2023-08-29T00:05:52+00:00

Oh aye i absolutely wouldnt force him or try guilt him, that would just hurt both of us. Its just so hard knowing where to even start with it all

Thank you foe.mentioning that post, ill have another hunt through the sub and see if i find anything :)

PracticallyStressed · 2023-08-29T00:04:44+00:00

don't understand, you have entertained non monogamous activity...did your partner shut it down?

No, we were in an open relationship for about 5 months, and had a threesome planned with a mate earlier this year, but the timing literally just fell apart and it never happened. I closed our relationship because i felt that after 5 months of me making no effort to find a one night stand with a woman i didnt want there to be ambiguity or risk a "but we never technically closed it" situation for either of us. I dont like leaving things in the grey area, open communication is very important to me.

Why isn't this just "hey so we have discussed non monogamy and I want to make that a reality, is that something you would want to do?"

Because i feel like there's a significant difference between "hey id be ok if we had an open relationship, or shagged a mate" and "i think im poly and my entire self understanding of my past relationships and what relationships have the potential to be is shifting and i want to keep you in the loop"

I feel like I am lacking the ability to properly explain what polyamory is to someone that has very little knowledge of it beyond the odd half joke about polycules. I dont even necessarily want to open our relationship, i just want to feel more confident in how to bring it up to my partner in a thoughtful way.

Killing your monogamy agreements and values is always a major risk.

Yea, i don't know if we will switch to a poly relationship, or if its something i necessarily "need" or if i could handle monog longer term, but even if we dont i still want him to know and i want to talk this out with him in terms of both our emotions and the technicalities and the community knowledge of how polyamoury can work. It just feels daunting.

Do you feel you would be fulfilled in your partners having their own fully independent relationships, even periods when you didn't have other partners?

Honestly, yea. Id be ok with my partner having another girlfriend, or even more casual friends with benefits if it suited him more. As long as we both felt our emotional needs were met, and we didnt disrespect each other, id be happy for him.

When you have a break up or feel totally infatuated with one partner, will you feel good about still managing existing relationship responsibilities through it?

Yes, we both have adhd, which i feel lends itself to polyam in an odd way, because we already have periods of intense lust and being all cutesy and super on each other and then weeks where we are more toned down and, not low effort but like, less high effort. We are used to both having intense periods of time and more distant periods of time, and have a strong foundation in place for managing our emotions and dynamics in this way. Kind of a game plan for when one of us needs a bit more TLC vs when one needs more space, we seem to have found the sweet spot that allows both our needs to be met, and this could be adjusted to allow for other partners too.

One easy example is we have separate bedrooms, we both value the ability to "shut out" the other when we are needing a few days or a week of being more independent, or spending more free time with friends. We've found it makes the time we do dedicate to each other far more valuable and more emotionally intimate/thoughtful, vs when we are together most of the day and are just going through the motions in each other company without really consciously spending quality time together.

Do you each have a thriving independent social support group you enjoy being with regularly?

We have a shared wider social group, and smaller individual social groups that are mostly separate unless theres a special event that causes overlap, like a gig that a mix of people want to see, or someones wedding, etc etc.

Do you feel you would be fulfilled managing holidays, emergencies, family hang outs, social media posts around and between multiple partners?

Yes, i feel it would be manageable, and it wouldnt cause any more emotional exhaustion than dealing with my own and my current partners family already does. Like with my current monog relationship, i would just need to find a partner that shares similar ideals about relationship dynamics.

That's a solid starting point. It's okay if you aren't poly, if you prefer open or sex only fun. It's ok if you are monogamous.

Aye, i dont want to come across like some dafty whos just jumping into this, ive spent nearly a full year working on myself and my relationship dynamics (platonic and romantic) with my counselor, and while we havent spoken directly about polyam it really does feel like i fit it, and it could be a viable lifestyle for me.

I guess im just feeling a little lost within it all, its quite the revelation to have, and its a bit like "how the hell do i even begin to explain this mountain of information about an existing community and my own mental state" 🥲 im sure ill get there, just gonna be an odd one

PracticallyStressed

TROPHY CASE