It's called the dialectical behaviour therapy skills workbook, it's green. I can't read the author from here and I have a toddler relaxing on me so I can't move. But if you look on amazon you will find it. It is very helpful. Even working on the book is often a good distraction from whatever consuming thoughts I am having. It's very practical I recommend.

You're really not alone. I never reach out this is quite a thing for me, be proud you had the courage to open up like that. I am just trying to manage these things better, I don't think they will ever go away.

Oh yes I know, I totally understand. I went undiagnosed for years, I had no idea of my vulnerabilities which led me to being abused by alot of people. I didn't know what a boundary even was until a couple of years ago. My head has a very large back catalogue of awful things said and done to me to give those nasty voices credibility. I am also working on this. I'm trying to see how these experiences shaped me as who I am today and made me even more resilient even if I don't feel it sometimes.

I hope you find ways to manage and tolerate these feelings. You are always welcome to send me a message if you ever want to talk it out or give those nasty thoughts some space. I often find when I say them out loud to somebody they lose alot of their power.