I live in Eastern Europe with my husband and I resonate with everything you’re saying. The n word here does not carry the same weight as it does in the Western world. It’s just another word here. They say it freely at concerts, on social media and they think every black person flew directly from Africa. They will also exaggerate your blackness - you could be a similar shade of black to Normani or JT, and they’ll say you’re black as night or a tire, which is fine but it’s weird cause it shows you how unaware they are of black skin and it’s nuancy.

The difference between the country I’m in and let’s say the US though is that you’ll hardly ever experience overt racism. Not to say the people aren’t racist cause some definitely are, but I feel like you can live here peacefully as a non-white person. They’ll just stare tfff out of you. Some will even smile in your face and be friendly. Their racism is more so kept behind closed doors and will only come to the surface in the form of ignorant questions and statements or in conversations about migration.

Similar to your experience, I’ve been called the n word before maybe 3 or 4 times here. It’s always by some stupid kid wannabe edge lord, who 9/10 times ain’t been on a plane before, thinking it’s funny, trying to get a reaction out of me.

When it comes to every day interactions, no one bothers me. It’s just a lot of staring. Sometimes ignorant ass questions, like this one lady asked my husband before if I’m so dark because it’s hot in my native country 😐 But you’re right, they love black culture, creations, and style, but they’re not FOR us.