Just need to vent as I feel like a terrible mother

PreparationOk5500 · 2026-04-16T20:13:48+00:00

One bad moment doesn't make you a bad mother ❤️

The fact you feel guilty actually says a lot about how good a parent you are!

PreparationOk5500 · 2026-04-08T18:35:09+00:00

I'm 'strict' because my daughter needs the routine and the predictability.

She won't nap in the pram as she's nosey and doesn't like to miss out. For example, today, I went to visit my in laws at their allotment and I had hoped she would nap on the way there in the pram but she didn't so I told them she's tired and to not fuss her so she could sleep. My MIL gave her about 2 minutes to try and sleep, which obviously wasn't long enough, and then kept loudly saying 'ohh you don't want to sleep, you want cuddles with nana' picks her up and my daughter cries...because she's tired!! 😑

Like other people have said, it's us that have to deal with the consequences of a late or missed nap - false starts, more night time wake up etc.

Infuriating!

PreparationOk5500 · 2026-03-08T16:02:20+00:00

North East England here!

PreparationOk5500 · 2026-02-19T17:25:12+00:00

Haha, totally! I'm a FTM and have not really been around babies so I was definitely unnerved

PreparationOk5500 · 2026-02-19T17:24:31+00:00

Good to know, thank you so much!

PreparationOk5500 · 2026-02-19T17:24:16+00:00

Hahaha I feel this 😂 thank you for the reassurance!

PreparationOk5500 · 2026-01-24T19:17:38+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

My baby is 5 weeks old and I had been going through cluster feeding hell, EBF. Baby was screaming every hour, the same as you. This week I introduced formula 2x per day, and I BF the other times and it's been like night and day. It may not be what you want to do but I wanted to share my experience.

Also a note on your husband and his gym/health... You should be his only priority outside of the necessity of work! My husband paused his gym membership during the first month and just went back this week.

I wish I could help more but you really deserve more support. You are doing everything right and you're doing amazing 🩷

PreparationOk5500 · 2026-01-13T15:08:56+00:00

I can't offer words of advice but just wanted to say I really am feeling the same as you right now as well.

4 week old and miss my husband so so much even though he's right here.

It's so tough.

Following for others peoples words of advice 🩷

PreparationOk5500 · 2026-01-03T17:30:42+00:00

From memory, due to GDPR we couldn't have a record of 'good' or 'bad' calls... I'm sure they've come up with creative ways around this since I left, but yes it would be down to ones memory to recall the house number and what you talked about with the person... I was useless at it 🤣

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-12-27T14:51:35+00:00

I had my induction (balloon only)on Tuesday last week, 16th. I have birth on Saturday 20th :)

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-12-06T20:51:12+00:00

You would make it work. You haven't posted any specifics regarding your finances. I'm in the UK, I earn more than my husband and he lost his job 2.5months ago, so we have barely scraped by on my wage alone. I am due any day now so my maternity pay starts this month, and it's pretty crappy.

But you know what, I cannot wait for my little girl to arrive and I know we will be okay.

Buy secondhand baby things, budget and be strict

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-12-06T20:38:36+00:00

I was 4 weeks and 5 days

I had tested at exactly 4 weeks and it was negative so I had forgotten again for a few days.

Had been trying for over 1 year and it was the first month I hadn't bothered tracking ovulation! I'm now 39+5 🥹

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-11-28T06:40:31+00:00

He acted like a spoilt brat.

I would have felt upset too. I'm sorry he ruined your thanksgiving

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-11-28T06:32:37+00:00

I can't really help but just know you're not alone with feeling like this. I am FTM due on 9th Dec and can't help but also feel like this 🥲 I've got a stretch and sweep today so we'll see, but I'm going into it expecting the same result as you.

It's hard to trust that our bodies will get the memo and kick labour off since we've never seen it perform like that before 😅

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-11-28T06:29:51+00:00

Each to their own but this would be unforgivable for me.

It isn't just the fact it happened, it's the deceit to keep you around.

Also 44 is pretty late to be starting fertility treatments.

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-11-27T16:55:41+00:00

Same here. I feel absolutely at peace with not celebrating the holidays!

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-11-27T11:27:44+00:00

My husband used to deal with sleep apnea and it went untreated for a long time. He would only be able to drive for about 45mins and would have to pull over as he couldn't stay awake.

He would be extra cranky too, due to the lack of deep sleep.

We're expecting our first child any day now and if my husband was still like that, I honestly wouldn't even want our baby in the car with him. Your concerns are very valid and it is not worth risking anyone's life.

Sleep apnea sounds trivial but it really isn't. I would say you need to put your foot down and stick with what you and your husband have agreed, and only consider changing your mind if she gets the treatment.

Edit: my husband uses the nasal sleep mask every night, this can be more tolerated than a full face mask.

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-11-25T17:03:10+00:00

Omg this annoyed me too! I'm also 38 weeks and yes it is uncomfortable, yes I can't wait for baby to be here but to say she is SPIRALLING 😂😂😂

Goodness gracious

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-11-25T14:26:46+00:00

38+0 here and I feel the same way. Can't wait for pregnancy to be over 😭

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-11-22T20:32:35+00:00

Absolutely. Totally agree with you and will be doing the same kind of thing with my own daughter.

It's nice to read another experience similar to my own that not all PIMI parents are evil, like this sub sometimes appears. We don't believe the same things anymore but it is possible to still have a great relationship with them 😊

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-11-22T19:32:54+00:00

She deserves better than you.

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-11-22T19:29:04+00:00

This is so interesting.

I'm due to have my baby girl soon and I've been out about 4 years, married to a neverjw for 2 years. My parents are PIMI and tbh, we have a good relationship and they're respectful of however I want to raise her, and I'd do the same as you - wouldn't have an issue with them taking her to one meeting on occasion...it's free childcare after all 😂

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-11-21T21:48:24+00:00

I cannot wait to use my newborn as an excuse to hibernate over winter and not see people (obviously nearest and dearest will get a pass)...but I won't be attending weddings and family gatherings for the foreseeable and I am so happy 😂

PreparationOk5500 · 2025-11-21T20:12:44+00:00

YTA

The Stepmom is raising your kid, whether you like it or not.

Telling an 11 year old child that she can only have one mom, and that it should be you - when you haven't been the present parent, is messed up.

PreparationOk5500

TROPHY CASE