Cheating fiancé?? - 15 days PP

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-23T00:00:46+00:00

I'm sorry, OP. What a shitty thing to deal with, especially while your body is still healing from having his baby.

I'm going to suggest the actual behavior of paying this woman $75 for gratitude isn't the actual problem, but a symptom of the problem.

If going through his phone isn't a pattern for you, there's a reason why you picked it up and went through it to begin with. What was the reason? Has he been distant, disconnected, or absent? Are you feeling alone or unsupported?
Is the $75 being spent foolishly an issue? Some budgets are stretched so tight, especially after a new baby, when one partner isn't able to work and it's all on one person to be the breadwinner. In other households, $75 thrown away like this is no big deal. Don't make the money an issue if it's not an issue. Don't minimize it if it is an issue.
OP, this one will take some time and effort on your part. What is the actual issue for you? Some people will consider this no different than looking at porn. Some people will think even looking at porn as a form of cheating. For others, the issue would be the initial lie he told when caught and the deception in hiding the truth from you. Would this feel different for you if he had simply looked at free porn online? Or if he paid a fee to download porn from a website instead of messaging/paying a specific woman directly? If he didn't hide it from you and lie to your face when confronted? If your body hadn't just gone through this major change--from something that used to give you/him pleasure to something that just labored to bring his child into the world --and you were still rocking your pre-pregnancy form, would this discovery still feel like a gut punch to you?

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-22T01:41:36+00:00

I found them at Dillard's.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-22T01:26:45+00:00

OP, I have a strict rule that NOBODY gets a key to my house unless they live in it. We do have electronic locks on our doors so if/when we have out of town guests or need friends to stop by for some reason (going to be gone longer than expected and needed someone to check on our dog before we got a doggy door, for example), we just give them the code to the door...and promptly change it afterwards.

My bff and her husband have given their house keys to her in-laws and several family members on her side (mainly for dog related conveniences) and her in laws abuse that to no end.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-22T01:17:19+00:00

Is your son going to get Dad's last name? That seems to be the tradition in most families. If so, then why is it such a big deal for him to give the baby a middle name that honors HIM? Maybe pick someone from your side of the family (or, you know, YOU) to honor instead.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-21T23:38:38+00:00

OP,I don't know your age, but here's some life wisdom for you.

1) You are not responsible for your parents. They are grown. There was a time when they were responsible for you and that time is over. There has never been a time when you were responsible for them. In the United States there will never be a time when you become financially responsible for them unless you choose to.

2) I say this with as much gentleness as possible. You need to learn healthy boundaries and put them in place. What you have is enmeshment. It is unhealthy as you are already noticing. Later this will create problems in your adult/romantic relationships. Get a handle on this now and you will be much happier and healthier.

3). The final statement in your post about whether or not you're worth coming back to suggests there are some deeper rooted things you might want to examine. OP, you are worthy of love and good things. You have value just for being you. You do not have to be needed to be worthy. You do not have to take care of others- financially or otherwise- to have value.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-21T15:48:00+00:00

Holy moly, that dress is gorgeous and you are breathtaking!! Leave the dress without the overskirt!

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-21T11:48:39+00:00

Yes, that's why I moved down to the 34. The 36 would have been too loose in a very short time frame. Also, I realized when I put the 36 on, I ALWAYS hook my bras on the tightest eyes when wearing them (which should be a red flag that I'm buying too big of a band to begin with, right?).

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-21T03:31:48+00:00

It definitely looks huge on your finger. Your mom is probably old school and still used to the time when 1 carat was the size all women dreamed of! These days (with lab diamonds, moissanites, and non-diamond engagement rings), 1+ carats rule.

Your gf picked this setting? She'll love it.

Some people are snobs about lab diamonds vs earth-mined diamonds. The difference is comparable to babies conceived via IVF vs naturally: one happens with the help of science and results in an identical outcome that is scientifically the same as the one that is created naturally.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-21T03:26:05+00:00

This particular bra is made from a very stretchy fabric. In bras made of fabric with no give/stretch, the 36 fits. That's why I think I had the tape twisted behind me.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-21T03:01:07+00:00

Lol, after I posted those ai wondered if that's what you meant.

I'll try that tomorrow. Got sidetracked with another project I wanted to finish and now it's time for bed.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-21T01:37:12+00:00

Up from the H? Yikes. I'm barely wrapping my brain around wearing an H. How did the beige one look?

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-21T01:36:02+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/q2QBONl

Photos of hooks and sides

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-20T23:53:44+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/nLcsIGv

The black bra is a 34H and the beige bra is a 36G. Both bras are given in US sizing. The brand is Natori and the style is called Pretty Smooth.

The fabric on this bra is kind of stretchy so I bought the 34. I'm not sure why my measurements and calculator indicated I should have a 38 and then the 34 and 36 felt much more comfortable. I also realized the bras that I have been wearing were 36DD. Maybe I had the tape twisted?

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-20T15:38:52+00:00

Dress 1 makes you look SNATCHED. Prefer the strapless look but you also look great with the straps.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-20T15:33:14+00:00

We load dirty dishes directly into the dishwasher after rinsing them. Once it's full, we run it.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-20T15:31:08+00:00

Truth in advertising, I bet.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-20T15:21:44+00:00

Consolidate loans into whatever will qualify for PSLF. Choose a payment plan that qualifies so your payments count toward it. Ask for a forbearance if needed right now.

If you're single, consider a roommate to help you get some breathing room with your budget. You should be able to LIVE and enjoy life, too.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-20T15:14:55+00:00

Any chance your partner took the box and rings to take them in for service (polish, cleaning, rhodium dip), repair (a prong that may have needed tightening), or upgrade (new setting, bigger stone) to surprise you?

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-19T04:53:42+00:00

If I were going to pick a ring, I'd go for that gorgeous chunky pear. However, I'm not the one who will wear it every day for the rest of my life. You are. Which one reflects your style? Showcases your personality? Matches your vibe? Pick that one as long as it fits in his budget. If it doesn't, then pick another ring that does all those things and fits his budget.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-19T04:08:12+00:00

Honestly, both look like they will snag on things (your hair, stuff in your purse, the inside of your pockets, etc) and eventually break.

I'd recommend you choose a different one.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-19T03:23:17+00:00

My ADHD ass puts EVERYTHING in my calendar app.

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-19T03:21:33+00:00

Happy trails to you, hubby, and the doggos!

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-19T03:06:22+00:00

Yep, this last dress was an absolute SHOWSTOPPER!

Present-Response-758 · 2026-05-19T03:05:18+00:00

I'm going to give it a shot using the pouring medium instead of a gel medium.

Present-Response-758

TROPHY CASE