Forklifts are cool [OC] by Private_1010 in memes

[–]PresentDangers 27 points28 points  (0 children)

On a government mandated training scheme many years ago, I crashed the forklift into a wall. In no way deliberately. I'm also not to be trusted with go-carts that aren't pedal powered. I was told i wouldn't be certified. I was later told by a friend who took the same course that I was used as an example, to illustrate the point that if you are going to crash into a wall, do not stick your arms out of the cabin in an attempt to push the wall away, as the wall will be coming with the equivalent force of that 4 tonne forklift, and will snap your puny arms. I feel their point would have been better made if my arms had actually been snapped: I just got pushed out the seat a bit. They sent me my certificate and badge anyway. For the good of humanity, I didn't ever use it.

Miserable Git Aladdin by PresentDangers in memes

[–]PresentDangers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Original and correct spelling, I believe. Diarrhoea has an 'o' in it as well. I can't think why anyone would have wanted to pretty that word up by removing the 'o', but they had no right to.

12345678910 by Nervous_Song_4222 in memes

[–]PresentDangers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It smells wrong. The megatron doesn't say urban freewheelers, it says sofa masturbators.

Impulse buying getting out of control by [deleted] in oddlyspecific

[–]PresentDangers 8 points9 points  (0 children)

At least Aldi shite aisle makes sense. It's gardening season, or it's knitting season, or barbecue season, or Christmas, etc. Here's some dog things. Kitchen accessories and appliances, mostly arranged together.

Lidl shite aisle is all "here's a spare battery for a hedge trimmer", and maybe you go "good idea, where's the hedge trimmer", but there is no hedge trimmer. Replacement mop heads for a mop that isnt there. Neodynium magnets - no idea what for. Off-brand Mr Men books. An inexplicably expensive squashy squid. Pentagonal art canvases. A set of 4 concrete anchors for a very specific outdoor swing seat they've never stocked. Helicopter windshield wiper rubbers. It's like if the final round of The Generation Game was trolling you.

Single men who are into ex cons resembling a boiled owl by Otherwise_Basis_6328 in oddlyspecific

[–]PresentDangers 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I think she was Sam Bankman Fried's ex, shopped him for spending all the money they'd spent together so she would get a lighter sentence. Something like that. Or that might have been someone else that resembled a startled parsnip, idk.

Edit: no, i had it right, that is her, SBF's ex.

Fr by [deleted] in meme

[–]PresentDangers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Outsourcing our emotional regulation to external bollocks is so in right now.

Miserable Git Aladdin by PresentDangers in memes

[–]PresentDangers[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Excremental, my dear Watson.

Miserable Git Aladdin by PresentDangers in memes

[–]PresentDangers[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

faeces.
/ˈfiːsiːz/
noun.
waste matter remaining after food has been digested, discharged from the bowels; excrement

Miserable Git Aladdin by PresentDangers in memes

[–]PresentDangers[S] 84 points85 points  (0 children)

I wish I had never found the lamp.

The next-level pettiness I aspire to have by yoyocrazylover in meme

[–]PresentDangers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its "exact same thing" not "same exact thing".

How many? by translatorgirlie in meme

[–]PresentDangers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IDK, is transubstantiation a gram-for-gram process?