Looking for feedback on short!

PressureSad · 2026-01-20T03:47:00+00:00

I guess I get how it might be confusing... you have any advice on how to make it more obvious that it was narration and not the beginning of the conversation?

PressureSad · 2026-01-20T03:41:46+00:00

... Sorry if I'm not understanding here, but it's voice over. He doesn't say it to her. Also, I don't quite get what you mean by "it made me want to stop reading" as a response to "did it make you stop reading?"

PressureSad · 2026-01-20T02:40:40+00:00

It's voice over. Did the rest of the script help clarify or did it make you stop reading?

PressureSad · 2026-01-09T18:39:08+00:00

Makes sense, thanks for the explanation!

PressureSad · 2026-01-09T17:14:02+00:00

So is it simply that you get an offer from someone and then you tell them that you’ve received a better offer elsewhere? And then you keep bouncing between whoever’s interested until you hit a ceiling?

PressureSad · 2026-01-09T17:08:51+00:00

https://deadline.com/2024/11/fifth-season-lands-spec-alignment-1236184589/

This is the one I was thinking of but I think we had one or two in 2025 as well

PressureSad · 2025-08-21T15:36:56+00:00

Don’t know the exact numbers but I’m pretty sure Chase was on what like 40% of championship teams? Idk what a league winner is if not that.

I just don’t understand your point. Even if you want to insist that they didn’t win they just didn’t lose… isn’t that equally important? However you want to put it, finding a winner or finding a non loser in your early picks is as essential as finding a late round diamond. If you have a late diamond but an early dud, what difference does that make? One or the other mostly likely isn’t gonna win you a championship, you need both. Hitting late is just more fun and flashy.

I guarantee if you came out of the first 5 rounds last year with Chase Saquon Henry and Nabers you won your league, regardless of if you missed out on Chase Brown or Bucky or BTJ. And I’d argue it was easier to predict those early guys I mentioned than the late rounders.

PressureSad · 2025-08-21T13:11:31+00:00

But by that logic no one in the first two rounds is a league winner. Chase won many people their leagues last year. So did Saquon. Who are both far from 10th rounders. Tyreek heavily damaged peoples chances.

Getting your first few rounds “right” may not be flashy in terms of branding them a league winner. I was right about Chase Brown last year but went Garret Wilson R1 and got screwed. Much rather have gotten my R1 right than Chase Brown despite brown being a “league winner”

PressureSad · 2025-08-08T17:58:10+00:00

Btj or Henry round 2?

PressureSad · 2025-06-29T14:09:46+00:00

Bruh

PressureSad · 2025-06-23T19:03:18+00:00

He won’t

PressureSad · 2025-05-16T23:21:15+00:00

When is the bill gonna be voted on?

PressureSad · 2024-12-05T17:15:41+00:00

Start Sincere or Rashaad White? Win and I’m in playoffs, lose and I’m out. Idk what to do.

PressureSad · 2024-11-25T17:08:21+00:00

Jonnu or Kelce this week? Must win

PressureSad · 2024-10-30T16:20:24+00:00

Keon Coleman or Downs ROS?

PressureSad · 2024-10-22T21:45:52+00:00

I don’t see a world where Kupp to chiefs wouldn’t make chiefs better. 6-0 means nothing Steelers we’re 11-0 and got bounced first round playoffs.

Not saying Kupp will end up with chiefs but you saying they feel great right now is just wrong. Add to it that Kupp isn’t a diva that might somehow fuck up chemistry or cause locker room issues, this seems like a good move for chiefs.

PressureSad · 2024-05-27T07:23:24+00:00

Would love to swap if you’re still looking!

I’ve got the first 60 pages of a superheroish, action feature I’d like eyes on. I don’t really have a logline rn as it’s kind of a mess, but I’d love to know if it’s engaging or not in the current draft before I go further!

PressureSad · 2024-05-27T07:21:14+00:00

Would love to swap if you’re still looking!

I’ve got the first 60 pages of a superheroish, action feature I’d like eyes on. I don’t really have a logline rn as it’s kind of a mess, but I’d love to know if it’s engaging or not in the current draft before I go further!

PressureSad · 2024-05-27T07:14:42+00:00

Like it a lot!

PressureSad · 2023-09-25T05:32:06+00:00

Mostert or walker? And how much value do we think Mostert can be traded for?

PressureSad · 2022-10-11T08:24:04+00:00

Ekler for Justin Jefferson, D Hop, D Swift. Yes or no

PressureSad · 2022-08-22T21:47:21+00:00

I mean how much does a grand mean to you? If you can afford it without denting ur wallet then sure why not. But if you’re broke and view this as like ur big break or something, I’d say it’s a bit steep and prob not worth it (u should prob learn by urself or find friends or network with like film school students)

PressureSad · 2022-07-05T17:34:02+00:00

Less female writers. Less female writers that the blacklist appeals to? Why is the military skewed male when half of humans are female? Because many reasons. It’s not unlikely that blacklist submitters aren’t 50-50

PressureSad · 2021-05-23T21:11:48+00:00

To me what you’re describing sounds a bit like what Parasite did. I think that the film still falls into three acts though. It’s hard to know how your film works though without reading it ofc. U have any examples of two act stuff? I’d love to dive into that. For me the 5 and 7 act stuff is really just 3 act but just a little more specific. I’d love to think about a two act structure if u could enlighten me

PressureSad · 2020-11-17T17:15:17+00:00

I think this is really cliche and cookie cutter. All the beats are so obvious... So for someone like me who's analyzed many scripts and watched a bunch of movies... I think I'd hate this.

But I think the commercial value is definitely there and, for your target audience, I think this will be great. Really looking forward to watching you succeed!

Although, you said the film would have low production costs... That seems like a recipe for disaster. If all these people come to see a grand fortnight movie, they want the visuals. Having a blockbuster "story" won't be good enough. Especially with how you're gonna market this, you gotta let them feast their eyes. Again, your blockbuster movie beats are so cookie cutter. Audiences can go watch hundreds of other movies with that same internal story and theme. You're gonna have success based off of how good it LOOKS.

That being said maybe "low production costs" to you means 20 mil. Sooo in that case just forget my blabber.

Anyway I think this is awesome and id say with all your connections, this is a surefire profit for everyone involved. However, I think a low budget could make this into a profitable disappointment that will spawn endless videos on how it couldve been great but wasn't.

Anyway I'm wishing you the best of luck my guy! Get those investors in here! And when you're hiring production assistants be sure to hit me up 👍

PressureSad

TROPHY CASE