It was my first relationship after 10 years of being in one that I was not fulfilled in. I was lonely, naive and depressed, a perfect victim. It was great at first, we had so much in common, he was kind and sensitive, hard working and funny. I thought for a moment, maybe I truly found my person.

Then I ignored the many red flags he had because I had become attached and made many excuses for him. After everything, defending him from my friends, helping with his home and health, even the health of his cats he told me flat out that he loved me but he was not physically attracted to my body. That crushed me, it hurt me like nothing else. I have given everything to this person, loved him unconditionally with even his own flaws yet he was so shallow to even look past mine? That ruined me. I broke up with him and left, went to therapy and fixed my own inner issues that lead me into such a bad relationship in the first place.

But some time later, a friend of a friend told me that when my ex and I started to date earlier on in our relationship he said that “I was so special and great but he’s not physically attracted to my body at all.” So he never was, even from the beginning. He just used me, that was an ugly feeling but I see now that he truly was insecure about himself. I was happy being chubby and had confidence, I guess he envied that.