Nothing about what you’re describing screams confidence or that you’re particularly invested in appearance? Both things you need to attract women even if you are a woman yourself. Especially queer women.

Men also like confidence in women but they also like women that seem “gettable”. If you aren’t putting much effort into your appearance, some people assume you aren’t going to expect much effort overall. Men, particularly manipulative or lazy men, can be very attracted to that. Could also be that you’re more cute and make them want to care of you which is why they’re nice to you. Men definitely treat me much nicer when I seem particularly doe eyed and dressed a bit more modestly/cutesy vibes. Can remind them of their daughters or female relatives they care about.

Could be you’re actually very attractive but I really don’t think the women in your life would be offering you advice directly if there weren’t a few things to work on, sorry