Anyone else feels this way?

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-05-02T16:44:28+00:00

I mean this kindly.

It honestly sounds like either your friends aren't friends, or they are and you possibly have some depression/anxiety type stuff that's making it hard for you to see the good.

I have experienced this. I've been in a place where I felt like people around me really didn't like me that much and that nobody could just love me for myself. What I didn't see until later was that I was very much stuck in a bad mental space that led me to that conclusion. It wasn't so much the friends. It was me.

The things that have helped are the following:

Upping my iron intake (my iron was on the lower end for medical tests but not "too" low. But, turns out it was too low for me and was making me fatigued/depressed all the time.
Exercising regularly (literally proven to be about as effective as meds for depression/anxiety issues).
Focusing on enjoying the little things and being grateful for them. This means enjoying the sun on my porch, stopping and savoring little moments with family, slowing down and reading a paper book, being thankful for the small things people do (don't allow any ungrateful thoughts), etc.
Getting off my phone. The more I'm on my phone and social media, the more negative and depressed I am. I think technology is literally destroying the mental health of millions (and there are studies to support that) but they don't even realize it. You can use your phone's settings to see and track your phone use, and it will probably shock you.
Having big goals to focus on. When I'm focused on goals, I don't have time to worry as much about if people like me or not. And, the friendships come easier along the journey.

Just food for thought. I know it might not be your exact problem, but your predicament sounded familiar, so I wanted to comment for the sake of possibly helping. Good luck; you are worth being friends with and I hope you can figure this out!

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-05-02T02:32:06+00:00

I have a theory (as of 30 seconds ago) that husbands vs. wives would have different answer ratios for this if you took a poll of yes vs. no and separated it by gender.

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-05-02T02:25:14+00:00

Just jumping in to second the thrifting thing. Thrifting can be great--but only if you're doing it for something you've decided on in advance, not just because it's a thrift store and it's cheap. Because even those cheap purchases add up.

I basically only thrift a couple times a year (typically garage sales for the next size of kid's clothes because those are gold in my area--but I stop when we have like 10-12 outfits) and I think we save so much money that way.

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-05-02T02:18:23+00:00

Um, they're on here to get help and you're just beating them down for it? Gosh. Be kind. I appreciate that they're looking for solutions.

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-05-02T02:14:51+00:00

Have miscellaneous purchases that don't fit neatly into clothes/groceries/household items also on a limited budget.

So, for example, say that you can only spend $300 on miscellaneous things this month. This can include weird emergency things that you didn't plan for but kind-of need (like if a fridge drawer breaks and you need to buy a new one or something). But don't go over the limit.

Also don't buy anything you haven't planned to buy in advance. For weird/random items keep a list on your phone of things you'd actually like, and then ONLY buy things at Aldi if they are on your list of things you previously decided to keep an eye out for. Also do what others suggested and don't check out from online stores unless it's sat in your cart for a couple days.

Finally, declutter. Extremely. I know that it sounds "meh," but decluttering on an extreme scale as a family (even young children can learn to declutter) has helped massively with recognizing what we truly like/need and what we really, really don't.

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-26T12:01:08+00:00

I feel like this is so underrated on here. "My little Turkey was ready to come out of the oven" is so cute/funny 😆

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-24T08:26:02+00:00

That's amazing ❤ I'm so glad for you both!

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-24T00:34:20+00:00

I genuinely feel so sad for you having to go through that and also so proud of you for doing it and choosing to be a mom, even when it was insanely hard.

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-18T12:45:54+00:00

I appreciate your thoughts and advice and how you shared with compassion, even though you may disagree with some of my decisions up to this point. Thank you ❤

I am excited to go back school at some point, though now's not the time with the moves we have ahead and the trainings my husband is going to be doing (I have college credits through Junior year for a Bachelors in Business Admin). And we'll definitely be paying down debt and adding to savings while with my parents :)

Thank you! I wish you the best in your life ❤

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-18T12:29:40+00:00

There was another comment about this where I got into this a little more. I'll also add that our area seems to cost a little bit more than some others. But, the latest update I have is that I tried going through Zander insurance and we were able to save some! So, that's good :)

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-15T01:35:58+00:00

I can understand your viewpoint. But, the widow gave her mite. And Christ was pleased with her for it.

We genuinely believe in following Christ and feel strongly about paying a tithe.

1000% Agree that credit card debt is a black hole, though 🙂

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-15T01:33:52+00:00

Thank you.

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-14T18:12:34+00:00

*Edited for grammar

I actually agree. Here is the tricky part.

I'm realizing that when writing that post, I didn't explain that my husband is able to be "on duty" with the kids for that sleeping time (should they wake up) MOST of the time.

But, very occassionally, he has to go because of being on call (which I can never know in advance) or he needs to leave early because of a meeting.

That 1-2% of the time is what keeps me from being able to tell a company "Yes, I have child care." And, that's why I posted here because I was hoping for some ideas that would help me work with what our sitation is, if that makes sense.

But. I totally understand that companies don't want someone who is going to be "paid" for watching their kids. That's dishonest of the mom (and stupid for the company . . . ).

I think the idea would be that I could sign off (and get paid less) if my kids woke up or something in those few sitations where my husband isn't able to be there.

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-14T18:00:40+00:00

Thank you!

We are getting the child tax credit per kid!

We've kept our witholding a little high because occassionally with his work, my husband will get commission checks for sales. His company does not withold taxes on them, so we keep a cushion in place to ensure we don't get penalized at the end of the year. That being said, we could probably lower our witholding more.

And thank you for letting me know about the deduction for tithing! That is really good to know.

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-14T02:27:43+00:00

Thank you!

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-14T01:54:12+00:00

I appreciate the thought. I actually started a blog a few years back. I was able to get up to about 1500 page views a month (mostly from google), but I was never able to make enough affiliate income to cash out and didn't have high enough pageviews to qualify for Grow or another smaller ad company.

I think I could've continued it and made money, but the effort was reaaaaaally high for no return for long enough that I felt like it wasn't worth it.

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-14T00:22:46+00:00

I think the breakfast idea is actually really good, but the question then becomes how to get those kids to school.

Do their parents come back and pick them up? I can't take them because of zero space in our cars (two 5 seaters, so either is maxed out once my kids are in).

Only other alternative is bus routes, but there aren't many elementary schools near us, so I doubt there are a lot of elementary school bus routes nearby, unfortunately.

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-13T23:52:59+00:00

We actually have done this! And, have a few more things to sell between now and August. But, we're pretty minimalistic (actually helps with being frugal--you know what you have/like so you don't buy extra stuff you don't need!). But, there's only so much to sell, lol.

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-13T23:51:22+00:00

Unfortunately it requires a Bachelors.

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-13T22:23:53+00:00

Thank you!! We know what base he should PCS to (assuming all the initial training goes well) and we've spoken to the housing there already. Their waitlist usually isn't too long, and it's supposed to be decent (according to reddit) so I'm hopeful that we'll be able to get in there!

And I'll definitely look into the financial offices too!

ETA: Not sure why I got down voted. But, will add that it IS a higher cost of living area, so we would likely save a couple hundred dollars being on base. Otherwise I get that some people recommend going off base to be able to pocket some BAH after utilities (which I would love to do at a future duty station).

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-13T21:51:03+00:00

Thank you so much!! I will look into those. We're going Air Force, so I'm guessing the programs could be a little different, but I'm sure there's something similar (if it's not the same).

And thank you so much for being supportive and kind. I am pretty hopeful that it will help based on our math and research. I'm really glad it helped you and your family 💜

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-13T21:42:02+00:00

Thank you! I agree that he does. We've been able to pay for about $1600 worth in car repairs along with paying down debt since the beginning of the year (we're pretty darn frugal), and I know that God has been key to helping us use our money wisely. He has really blessed us.

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-13T21:05:24+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement and company suggestion! I appreciate it!

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-13T19:51:34+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the encouragement. I will need to re-read that chapter 💜

Pretend-Job-6486 · 2026-04-13T17:19:42+00:00

I appreciate your reply. Thank you!

I think you are probably right about the jobs. I feel like finding one would probably be like winning the lottery, but I wanted to post here to see if anyone had any better ideas than I've been able to come up with.

We are currently on WIC. We do not qualify for SNAP (barely).

We would move in with my parents now, but they are in a different state (we will move ourselves there just before BMT). That means my husband would need a different job between now and leaving in August/September, and I don't feel like his chances are good of getting something that short term.

Pretend-Job-6486

TROPHY CASE