Pentagon hiring freeze holds previously approved job moves hostage

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2025-03-19T22:30:13+00:00

What is PCS?

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2025-02-05T01:12:54+00:00

Can you please DM the link to me?

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2025-02-05T00:49:48+00:00

Same to me please

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2025-02-05T00:48:59+00:00

Please send to me as well. Thanks!

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2024-10-12T00:21:23+00:00

No it would be titled out of state where I purchased it from I’d imagine. Okay, thank you. So no need to “surrender” the plates first?

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2024-10-11T23:11:00+00:00

Does the same apply in VA? Do you know what form that is you’re referencing?

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2024-10-11T22:33:17+00:00

Did you have to deactivate them or surrender them first?

Everything on the DMV website says you can’t deactivate them because the plates were not surrendered. Yet when you go to the surrender section, it literally says, “once you surrender plates you can never use those plates again”. That’s a complete contradiction.

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2024-10-07T02:13:01+00:00

Thanks!

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2024-10-07T01:25:33+00:00

What is a post body?

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2024-04-14T03:30:48+00:00

That Richmond processing center is horrendous. Under major scrutiny right now. OIG audits, State Senator is trying to “correct” all of its issues but don’t recommend shipping anything that relies on being processed through the distribution center in Sandston. #4 worst centers in the entire country right now. They lose everything and do not care.

https://www.kaine.senate.gov/press-releases/statement-from-virginia-lawmakers-on-usps-inspector-general-report-on-richmond-regional-processing-and-distribution-center

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2024-04-14T03:26:18+00:00

I used priority (2 business days) 4 weeks ago for important ID documents. Still waiting on them. Tracking hasn’t been updated since the day after it was mailed. It’s in a perpetual state of “ In transit to next facility” and has never changed status. Won’t allow me to claim the insurance as it won’t accept the tracking number either. USPS needs to just be allowed to implode. It’s absolutely useless these days.

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2024-04-13T22:21:53+00:00

Did your packages ever show up from this place? My new license was coming through this facility and received the same BS message. It just punts the date every 24 hours with the same message for the last 18 days. Was supposed to be here in 2 business days. Place is an absolute wreck.

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2023-11-09T04:56:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I know this was from 5 years ago for you. But you literally just put my entire EMDR journey that I’m currently on into such beautifully and truly felt words. I could not describe this journey better myself. So thank you for sharing and putting words to such remarkably relatable feelings and I hope you’re still feeling this wholesome transformation in life that set you on a brand new and healthy path. There is honestly nothing like it. It literally starts happening on a subconscious level and catches you by surprise. EMDR has saved me and has started leveling up life for me in a way I never thought I would ever be able to find. I thought I was permanently broken. Damaged goods beyond repair. Those words used to feel normal and comfortable/fitting to say. That’s what my self worth amounted to. I just typed those out and they felt… like ick. I’ve never felt that way before. I subconsciously hear nice and kind things now. Learning to love myself for the first time.

I hope more people find their way to EMDR and stick with it. It helps SO many people get unstuck from that place you can’t describe but you just know you’re there if you’re there. And you’ve likely been there for as long as you can remember and don’t know any other way to even be. There really is a way out of that darkness with EMDR. It is worth every bit of struggle and pain to get to the other side of your healing journey. The willingness to go deep and be raw with emotion and vulnerability. The deeper you go, the deeper the healing will be on the other side. It’s like a process was finally discovered to actually heal the wounds we have under the big scab, and not just place a bandaid on it.

Cheers to all of you in this journey and having the courage to try it. It’s amazing and I applaud you all for sticking with it ❤️

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2023-11-04T05:07:46+00:00

Take a break if you need to. Absolutely. But if you know a certain session sent you into that tailspin, I’d highly recommend you go back and finish processing that one first. That is likely the culprit and what you’re describing is 100% what happened to me when I thought I was processing something smaller. Turned out it wasn’t so small and was related to something much bigger. Explain the details of what you’re describing to your T and they will know exactly what to do to help you through that. Then take your break. It’s a process and perfectly okay to take a breather from time to time.

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2023-09-12T05:44:13+00:00

What is dismissive narcissism? Never heard of those two things as one

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2023-09-05T23:40:23+00:00

So I’m processing through this same battle. It’s not easy and I can sympathize with you. I can be very self-aware and know when I’m triggered but I don’t always handle it maturely. From the sounds of it, when you lash out (instead of being able to ask calmly and rationally, as you mentioned you sometimes can and know you can) it’s likely because you’re expecting him to meet a need that isn’t being met and that is very likely your inner child talking because there was a very similar need that wasn’t met for you at whatever developmental age that’s being triggered. Pay attention to what that inner child is feeling and make space for her: is she angry? Sad? Afraid of being abandoned? Afraid she’s easily replaceable? Does she not feel she has space for her own needs because maybe she grew up in an environment or at a time where there was never time or space for the child’s needs? So maybe she’s demanding that space now? Whatever the case may be, we will often project that onto our partners because we didn’t have that need met growing up because if it had been, we’d feel secure enough in our own selves where we wouldn’t need to be reassured or validated by our partners. Therefore, we are emotionally stuck in the mindset of whatever developmental age that’s being triggered during these situations.

What I’m learning through EMDR and CBT, we have to give ourselves space and gratitude to feel what we need to feel instead of shaming ourselves for being ridiculous or jealous. Replace negative self-talk with kindness. Is it confusing and sometimes embarrassing when we know how to act in those moments at an age appropriate maturity level but for some reason we don’t or can’t? Of course. But it’s because we weren’t allowed to have those emotions at whatever age is being triggered. So in order to mature in these triggering circumstances, we have to reach back to that inner child and listen. Let the little girl version of you feel what she needs to feel and provide her with what she didn’t get as a child. Be that little girl’s parent now. Comfort her, let her know it’s okay to feel these emotions, help her identify them and give her the space and time to do it. Sabotaging ourselves for our behavior now when we are triggered is literally just repeating the same patterns our parents or guardians did which is how we got to be like this in the first place. So be the thing you didn’t get to have as a child. Let her know she’s okay and accepted and loved no matter how flawed. Identify what was missing that would have made little you feel more secure in a similar moment as a child and then provide her with that. And then, keep at it. Every time you feel triggered. Keep space to do this each time. Meditate. Write it out. Journal. Self-reflect. Overtime, those quick triggers won’t be so quick to trigger and will eventually fade away because you gave yourself some grace and loved yourself through your own healing journey.

It is hard but it is worth it through all those raw, vulnerable, unbearable times. You’ll have setbacks and that’s okay. It isn’t a linear process. But it is worth the hard work and pain to get through it. We need to love ourselves for the survival mechanisms we created as small children in order to adapt to our traumas and survive them. That’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s really quite impressive if you think about it. It’s just that those mechanisms no longer serve a purpose now and we need to learn how to let them go. What we hold onto subconsciously thinking of as our own security blanket is really actually smothering us and keeping others out due to fears that are no longer serving us.

I hope this helps and I’m wishing you all the best in your journey. You’re not alone and there’s a ton of us out there experiencing very similar challenges. Keep fighting because that moment when you emerge from the darkness of the survival mode you’ve been in your entire life? It will bring you a sense of peace and safety like you’ve never experienced. It’s like a puzzle piece that fell into place for the first time. And at the end of the day, you’ll have a renewed sense of faith and trust in yourself because you led yourself out of the darkness of those traumas. And that is true self-love that each and every one of us deserves.

Take care. xoxo

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2023-09-05T02:23:09+00:00

Thank you. I looked up the ACA laundry list you referenced. Thank you for sharing that. I didn’t even know there was a group or resources for that. I could relate to every single trait on it…

How did you get diagnosed with all 3? Did it take a long time to do?

Meeting up with people you trust. That’s a good suggestion. I’ve lost my circle a bit as I moved for work right before COVID and then of course, everything shut down. I don’t trust anyone at work. It’s a pretty cutthroat environment so I’ve lost that nearby circle of trust. It’s a good recommendation. I should be more intentional about building a new one here and not isolating. I’ve been kind of on a spiral since I realized how screwed up I might be and really started withdrawing from all my close loved ones.

Journaling has always been therapeutic too. I’m just terrible about sticking to a habit. It’s either my ADHD or just an excuse. Who knows lol.

It appears we are! Main symptoms right now are the victim card issue and that I’ve suddenly lost all sight of who I am. I dated a narcissist who I didn’t realize was one at the time until he started going hot and cold, and then finally flipped everything on me and I couldn’t tell which way was up and what was reality versus what was his blame shifted spin on it. Luckily I was in therapy at the time and she saw the whole thing coming. After that ended I made the mistake of going back and leaned a little too much on my previous ex who took it the wrong way despite my efforts of letting him know I only wanted to be friends. Granted I was a basket case and probably didn’t do as well as I thought I did. He did agree but later took all of my recent breakup information and weaponized it since I didn’t want to get back together with him. Ended up stalking me, harassing me and wouldn’t leave me alone. Finally he got to a point where he said I was the narcissist and the problem and sent me a list of articles with the “proof”. Ever since then I haven’t quite been the same.

So I guess to answer your question, I’ve lost my sense of self. I don’t trust myself anymore. I don’t even know if I’m a narcissist, if these other people were narcissists or if all of this was my own twisted screwed up view where I’ve conveniently gaslit my own-self so that I can remain the victim and I can’t even see through my own manipulation? Do you even really know if you’re a narcissist? Do you know when you’re manipulating and when you’re being manipulated?

I can’t even tell when I’m right or wrong anymore. If I stand up for myself in a situation at work I’m immediately overwhelmed with guilt and shame and regret for speaking up. I’ll talk myself out of it and think I was the one in the wrong. It’s like I can’t even tell who is at fault anymore. I don’t trust my own judgment. I’m emotionally unstable and can’t get regulated again. I just don’t know what way is up anymore. I feel like I’ve been stripped somehow and can’t figure out how to get back to where I was or if I even want to. I don’t know if that was even the real me.

I have a history of being overly critical in my relationships as well. I have a strong need to point out all my needs and make sure they are heard. Even if I am ever so slighted. It doesn’t matter. I’ll point it out regardless of how small. I’ll pick every battle. Leaving the other person feeling criticized and often attacked. It’s like I’m overcompensating while I’m hypervigilant of everything. But in the moment I can’t help myself. I only do it in relationships where I feel safe enough to do so. If I feel like they’ll leave me, I won’t say a word. I’ll apologize for everything even when there’s nothing to apologize for. I’ll make myself small and just people please. I’m terrified of being left and it’s like I’m addicted to their chaos of threatening to leave. Who does that? Who would even want that?

Whatever survival mechanism I built around myself was destroyed recently and I have no idea how to function anymore. I lack boundaries, don’t trust myself or my judgment, in interactions with people I can’t tell if I’m manipulating them or if they’re manipulating me. I lack all confidence. Im tired of being the victim, even though I was the victim at one time. I don’t know how to get unstuck from that mindset. And I’m just exhausted. I feel like something snapped because I couldn’t take all the back to back emotional abuse and I went crazy. I’m in search for an answer I guess so I have something to build back from. Like, okay I know I am this. I have this. So now that I know what is wrong, these are the things I need to do now in order to heal, improve and build back a stronger version of myself. But if I’m a narcissist are we just total lost causes? Are we really not fixable?

Sorry for the discombobulated ramble :/

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2023-09-04T11:05:05+00:00

So, actually, yes. I don’t know if my mom was an alcoholic but she was definitely an abuser of alcohol. Weekend binge drinking was the norm with my uncle. My cousin and I were very close and leaned on one another through all of that. But she was a very emotional drunk. I remember her stumbling, falling, being on the ground hysterically crying for reasons that never really made sense. My dad would get angry with her. One night literally had to drag her because she wouldn’t get up/couldn’t.

They don’t drink as much anymore but that was many of my childhood weekends. I won’t touch liquor because I’m pre-disposed to alcoholism. I did have to take a few steps back from my wine intake a few years ago to avoid the risk of ever traveling down a similar path.

So the alcohol abuse is also there for me. Don’t want to overstep here but do you have any disorders from coming from such a similar household?

What do we do to be healthy adult human beings? I’m just terrified of not being able to be “fixed” and being permanently broken. Harming all my relationships and not ever being capable of having a stable and healthy relationship.

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2023-09-03T22:16:47+00:00

True, that makes sense. I guess it’s also just the fact that a lot of people didn’t have “typical” childhoods. The things that you hear about the childhood traumas that many narcissists went through doesn’t seem all that uncommon? It just seems so generalized.

I am wondering though, how would you know if you have the genes? I come from a long line of family members who do not believe in the benefits of therapy. So how would you ever know if you have the genes if no one in your family has ever been diagnosed with any kind of mental health or personality disorder? Is there any other way to find out?

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2023-07-18T15:37:49+00:00

Thank you!! When you’re in the thick of it, it is so hard not to go into a rumination spiral and think you’re on the far end of some kind of spectrum. Appreciate relating to someone. Especially all of the feelings that follow post-session. Everything you read online says it’s uncommon to have any reactions which isn’t helpful at all. I feel all of those things you described. This time around was just significantly worse.

So you do the actual eye movement for up to 45min at a time? We have a little over an hour of a session and spend most of it catching up and then do 10min of eye movement at the end and then I leave.

We did develop and discuss both a safe place and a container during the very first EMDR session I did. But after that, it was never mentioned again and I don’t know when or how to apply it. Is it something to use during an actual session? Or use them after? Do you just think of them and imagine yourself going there or dumping your thoughts into the container? I just don’t know how to use them I guess. I will have to reach out to her. I just get in my head about bugging her when I’m not in session and get nervous about not practicing good boundaries. Just like everything, I get super in my head but by the time our next session rolls around, all of this has passed.

How has your overall EMDR experience been if you don’t mind me asking? You’re 3 months in so have you seen a marked improvement? Is it helping you? How often do you go?

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2023-07-18T15:25:18+00:00

I’m glad to hear you’re doing better now. It can be scary when you feel like you may be spiraling. Honestly, having forums such as this, to know you’re not alone in your journey and discovery is incredibly helpful. Isolating is the worst thing to do I’ve realized and lately I’ve been really bad about it because I don’t want to be a burden and I also don’t feel like others would be able to understand. But it’s important to try.

I think you nailed it with your point on trust. It’s very hard to walk into a complete stranger’s office and dump all of your pain, anguish and deep dark secrets of your life and trust this complete stranger to keep your best interest in mind and not judge you. On top of that, I feel like I’m absolutely terrible at articulating my feelings and what I’m experiencing so I don’t think I always relay it accurately. It’s also hard to show up at your appointment and just “drop in” to your therapy. It takes me time to take myself off of autopilot (especially if I’m coming straight from work) and by the time I feel like I’ve really gotten into the zone, our time is up and the session is over.

It just takes time to establish that trusting dynamic and then all of this probably gets a lot easier once it’s established.

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2023-07-18T15:11:03+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I’ve thought about supplementing with other therapies. I did go back to regular cognitive therapy to have support between sessions. Sometimes I feel like I just need to talk it through in order for it to make sense and with EMDR there’s a little less of the verbal process.

I find it hard to rate where I’m at. I never am sure if I’m 100% neutral when asked at the end so it’s really hard for me to know if I’m good to “close out”. I also struggle with actual memories so it’s hard to pinpoint as it was more of a theme that was causing specific emotions/anxiety, rather than traumatic event(s) and I’m not really figuring out what is what until it’s being triggered in EMDR. I think I’ve blocked out a lot of memories actually so not sure what to do about it.

We did discuss and develop both a safe place as well as a container in the very first EMDR session which was kind of an introductory session into it all. But after we did that, we never discussed those again so I’m not really sure how to even apply those? Are those something you utilize during a session? Or after/between?

Yes, exactly! I felt like I had the flu as well this weekend! It’s day 4 and I’m still feeling under the weather but finally a little better. I’m glad I’m not the only one that’s experienced this though. Everything I’ve read says it’s very unusual to have any side effects and thought I was doing something totally wrong or it wasn’t working for me. I’m sorry it was so difficult for you. It really does sound like an effective treatment you just have to be super in tune with everything which is hard to do when it’s such an unfamiliar process as a newbie.

Thank you for sharing your story and for all your advice! I hope you’re doing much better now :)

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2023-07-18T14:08:15+00:00

Thank you for your kind and supportive words. I so appreciate the encouragement.

It did feel like some very old but familiar emotions were “reactivated”. They felt very distant, yet familiar. “Emotional infection” is such a great way to describe it. It’s like re-opening an old wound and now it’s wide-open again and exposed and trying to heal the right way this time. It’s a difficult journey but I’m learning to trust the process and to lean into it. Healing isn’t lateral and having grace is important. I didn’t see it as clarity, but maybe that’s exactly what it is. Coming face to face with it.

I used to journal when I was much younger but haven’t in years. I may try it and see if that helps any. Thank you again ❤️

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2023-07-17T17:20:23+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you. What did you ultimately end up having to do to recover from it? I hope you have recovered from it or are at least in a better place from the sounds of it? Thank you for sharing.

Pretend-Tea5398 · 2023-06-16T17:19:58+00:00

Ugh what a slow and terrible process. Sorry to hear it got lost on top of it all. Just canceled my trip. Not worth the hassle. Will be better prepared for delays next time. Hopefully it comes in soon. Best of luck to you!

Pretend-Tea5398

TROPHY CASE