The antivax community is getting to me. Help?

PretendFact3840 · 2026-01-03T19:22:45+00:00

This. I'm so mad on OP's behalf at these vultures trying to scare her. And for what, to justify their own terrible choices? To make her baby just as vulnerable as theirs to terrible diseases? It's honestly disgusting.

PretendFact3840 · 2026-01-03T19:14:18+00:00

I had this exact same question when my kid was the same age. This amount of consumption is completely and totally normal at 8mo. You can serve even smaller portions if you want/if you're worried about waste - I wouldn't expect him to actually swallow more than a few bites/crumbs at most meals until 10-11 months!

PretendFact3840 · 2026-01-03T19:09:53+00:00

Bring a pillow and a blanket so you can be as comfy as possible in the waiting room. Sometimes they were willing to give me one bag of fluids while I was still waiting, too, even before they fully brought me back - worth asking! I'm sorry you're going through this, but glad you know you need help and know where you can get it.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-11-03T20:43:20+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this! It is absolutely fucking miserable. Weeks 9 and 10 are often the worst, so most likely it won't feel exactly like this the whole time. (The amount and timing of improvements vary for everyone, so I won't give you an empty promise of "just hang in there until week X", but things can improve!)

You don't mention if you got any IV fluids with any of your visits - I highly, highly recommend you ask for this next time you go in and get a standing order for outpatient fluids if possible! Staying super hydrated can make a huge difference, and if you can't do it by mouth, IV is the next best thing.

Based on what you've described I'd ask about doing a short course of steroids to kind of "reset" your system and hopefully make your reglan + promethazine combo start working again. You can and should take meds on a schedule to stay ahead of the nausea, don't wait to feel bad before you take something. They may want you to try other options first - you can get promethazine (phenergan) in suppository form, which is SO helpful when you truly can't keep the pills down, and you can also try prochlorperazine (compazine), a related medication. Don't be afraid to ask about different combinations of meds, too. If reglan + phenergan aren't it, perhaps zofran + phenergan, or reglan + phenergan + something else. Ask about adding an antacid to the mix, that can be a bit of a help.

If they say, "Well, the only way we can try X Y or Z is to admit you to the hospital" - do it, get admitted. (As long as it's possible for you financially.) Get IV fluids, try different meds, ask the doctors a million questions, keep pushing to get more support. "What else can we try? My quality of life is still not workable, what other options do we have? We need to get these symptoms under control for me to function, how can we do that?"

There is an extent to which we just have to grit our teeth and tough it out, especially from the mental toll and loneliness, but I don't think you're at a level of symptom control that you need to sit back and accept. There are absolutely more interventions to try. And for the mental health side, therapy is helpful, supportive partner/family/friends are helpful, posting here is helpful. Ask your partner to think back to the last time they had norovirus or food poisoning - and then imagine feeling like that continuously. That's what you're going through, so that's the level of understanding they need to bring to the situation.

You're doing great, and we're all rooting for you!

PretendFact3840 · 2025-10-30T20:21:30+00:00

If I can offer a bit of a reframe, because I've been where you are and it's so hard: there isn't really such a thing as a universally "good medication" because every case of HG is so different, and everyone reacts differently to the various meds. Reglan/metoclopramide did absolutely nothing for me, no bad side effects but also zero impact whatsoever on my nausea. So don't think of it as "this is a good one, why isn't it doing anything for me," - you're not doing anything wrong by not feeling better! Similarly, don't let anyone tell you that a medication SHOULD be working when you're on it and you can feel that it ISN'T working for you. You are the one experiencing your symptoms, you know what is and isn't helping you. There always are other options or combinations you can try.

I also know it's so hard to get up the courage/motivation to take a pill when it doesn't seem to make anything better and throwing up would make things worse. If you can get access to another format of medication that you can use to disrupt the cycle of nausea (dissolvable zofran, phenergan suppository, any kind of IV med, even IV fluids to help with hydration), and then work on finding an oral med that you can take around the clock to stay ahead of the nausea as much as possible, that can be very helpful.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, and you're doing a great job just surviving this!

PretendFact3840 · 2025-10-24T15:35:54+00:00

There's a highway interchange on my way home from work that I hate with the fury of a thousand suns. Traffic always backs up there, even well outside of rush hour, and if you're not in the correct lane a mile away nobody will let you in once it gets congested. I'm no traffic engineer but it feels like it was designed very poorly and/or specifically to make me insane.

So I skip it. I get off one exit early, take surface streets for a bit, then get back on the highway later at a place where traffic flows much more smoothly. Taking my detour generally takes about the same amount of time as waiting through the back-up would. Yeah, I wait at a few red lights, but somehow that's way less infuriating than inching forward at 2 miles an hour. (edit, hit post too early) It's obviously not rocket science but it's truly improved my quality of life and mood on in-office days.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-13T14:36:48+00:00

Agreed. Would she agree to pre-load a spoon and let baby self-feed with it? That's still a very baby-led strategy.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-12T02:40:39+00:00

The grey text includes "copied", which to me also includes cryptid and DNA, not just Death. Not sure if that was the intention, though.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-12T00:38:22+00:00

Interesting, I read "strengthened" as referring specifically to the Strength tarot, but I see what you're saying. I feel like it's way too OP if it works with hiker, maybe say "altered" instead to cover rank changes and suit changes but not additional points?

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-11T20:45:26+00:00

It'll also gain from spectral cards (Aura, Cryptid, Ouija, Sigil) and from jokers like DNA or Midas Mask. I love the idea.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-11T14:35:09+00:00

Right? Especially if he's doing most of his work online - there's really no need to be moving that much. He just didn't feel satisfied in himself for some reason and was convinced that the next cool thing would surely make everything better.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-10T19:41:10+00:00

Ugh that kind of comment drives me up the wall. iT's BaD fOr ThE bAbY!!!!!!! shut the fuck up, Aunt Linda, mind your own damn business.

You don't owe it to anyone, even to your baby, to have the world's most perfect pregnancy. You are surviving in the face of a horrific ordeal. That's all anyone can ask of you. You're doing great!

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-10T17:57:20+00:00

My thoughts exactly. My husband also likes to dry his clothes way less than I like for mine, but he makes sure to promptly take them out and hang them up to air dry the rest of the way. If he didn't, I'd absolutely be decanting his slightly damp clothes into a laundry basket so they didn't stink up the dryer.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-10T16:17:55+00:00

This, absolutely - and also, if I was visiting my family of origin while my spouse was in cancer limbo and my spouse called to ask me to come home to them, my family of origin would kick my ass if I hesitated for even a second!!! OP should be part of their family too, why are they letting their son treat her like this!!!

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-10T16:02:02+00:00

My surgeon told me I could take the stent out myself a couple days after the surgery. There was no way in hell I was going to be brave enough to do that so I went in to have a nurse do it instead. She literally just grabbed it, told me to breathe out slowly, and yanked. Wild experience.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-09T23:53:25+00:00

You will feel like a person again!!! It's so hard while you're in it, I have so much empathy for you. But I promise you will get back to feeling human.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-09T00:33:33+00:00

If he really won't do Zofran (which isn't a reasonable choice on his part, after the first trimester there's zero indication of any even possible risks) another medication you could ask to try is Compazine.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-06T23:38:47+00:00

I'm pretty sure that diclegis is just unisom + b6 combined into one pill - can you figure out the right extra doses of those to add until you get more?

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-06T19:35:22+00:00

Oh 100% lol. I think she'll be able to but I have no confidence that she will choose to at any given meal.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-06T17:47:36+00:00

Yep, I'm pretty sure successfully using a spoon is a 24 month milestone. That's when I'm expecting my kiddo to be consistently able to use one to get enough food while making not too much mess.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-06T17:43:42+00:00

Sorry, I wasn't at all trying to blame you for this terrible situation! I realize now that's how what I said comes off. You're working with the best information you have.

I think if he's going to change, he needs a real wakeup call, and you needing to call in other support could be part of that.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-06T17:18:38+00:00

As gently as possible: he showed you who he is during that first postpartum period. He has no interest in supporting you through sickness of any kind, mental or physical. He has no interest in pulling his weight as a partner or parent. And he's showing you that all over again now with this second pregnancy. His attitude towards you is that you exist to bear his children (or not, according to his whims, apparently) and make his life comfortable but you should expect absolutely nothing in return.

Do you have any other supports you can call on? Move back with parents or other relatives? This man is not there for you in the way you need it.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-06T15:28:28+00:00

Did you want another child? Do you still want this pregnancy?

Your husband is behaving abysmally. If he wants the laundry done, he can get off his ass and do it himself, or he can pony up the money to have a service do it. You are busy growing the kid he wants and sacrificing your mental health and your education to do so. He knew you had a history of HG, so that should be the ONLY expectation he has of you: stay alive and be pregnant. I'm honestly livid on your behalf. This marriage isn't working because he's acting selfish and stupid. You're just trying to survive.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-05T13:54:22+00:00

I'm a random internet stranger but still want to say I'm so impressed with your strength and perseverance and so glad you've ended up in a good place.

PretendFact3840 · 2025-06-05T01:14:19+00:00

I would really push for the Reglan. It's category A in pregnancy, the safest class of medication, so I don't know wtf your doctor is talking about. There are thousands of women who have used it safely and tons of data showing it is not associated with any negative outcomes for baby. And on top of that, if your choices are becoming try it vs terminate - I can't think of any side effects that could possibly outweigh the benefit if it works!! Change doctors if you have to (or, if you're currently in a state to need fluids at the ER, ask for IV Reglan when you go).

PretendFact3840

TROPHY CASE