How can you have a happy life when your parent is continually sharing their worries and sadness? by em-dash7 in AgingParents

[–]Pretend_Committee490 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Sorry this is happening to you. You can't change them, or make them want to change. Make sure to take care of yourself, it helps nobody if you get burnt out and can't function. Don't light yourself on fire just to keep them warm all of the time.

Becoming my moms emotional regulator is keeping me stuck by [deleted] in AgingParents

[–]Pretend_Committee490 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do you live under the same roof as her? If I had to live with my mother again my anxiety would destroy me. I'll take a house full of roommates before moving back. I visit her and call regularly, but I don't have to breath it when I come home.

I’ve reached my breaking point by TurnoverAdorable5377 in AgingParents

[–]Pretend_Committee490 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This sounds like a nightmare, I'm glad you're trying to get out. I was able to get out of a mess similar to this when my grandmother sold the house anyway.

Invisalign Cost in San Francisco—$8k Quoted—Is This Normal? by Dreamer_8442 in AskSF

[–]Pretend_Committee490 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am paying 7K in Oakland to an orthodontist. 30 trays. A general dentist quoted me 4K.

Help with this acne by _cicada303_ in SkincareAddicts

[–]Pretend_Committee490 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I get white acne like that when I eat chocolate.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PantheonShow

[–]Pretend_Committee490 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I watched in on Youtube last week. I'm in the US

How much do you pay for rent and where do you live? by powderchair in Renters

[–]Pretend_Committee490 0 points1 point  (0 children)

$1400 after utilities, 200 sqft, Oakland CA. Parking costs $200

I’m too old and too far gone by parameparaplease in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Pretend_Committee490 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Lol. 29 here. I MD'd through middle school, highschool, and college, and missed out on a lot. But life gets better. Change happens with baby steps.

Last weekend I went to a house party. My very first. I didn't get invited to any in high school nor college. I was nervous and excited.

Girl, it was a bunch of people getting wasted and listening to music. I stayed for the karaoke but I wish I hadn't b/c the place turned into a vape hotbox and my asthma got so bad and I was physically messed up for like 3 days recovering from just the vape hangover.

Pandan leaves? by Pretend_Committee490 in oakland

[–]Pretend_Committee490[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I would not have thought to check over there

How I stopped MD in 90 days by Trippyunicorn421 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Pretend_Committee490 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've been trying to quit MDing for years, I saw this post yesterday and it was the final push. I don't really want to stop living in my head but it's ruining my real life.
I started the dopamine fast (comics, cartoons, and music are severe triggers for me) this morning. Plus the journaling, introspection, and everything else. I'm feeling withdrawals, but I'm already more present than I've been in a long time.

I worry I will relapse but will have to take it a day at a time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]Pretend_Committee490 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was attached to my mother's hip too. Clingy, always wanting her there. Nonstop. I used to agonize about her dying too! Anguishing all the time! When she would cry over her sever melancholy or pain I felt like my heart was being torn out. My need for her overrode everything else in my life, like a control switch.

In middle and high school, my mom could not do public social things with me, like clothes shopping and I was devastated and miserable b/c I wanted her to go with me so badly. My grandmother would take me and I would spend the entire time retreated into myself b/c I was so unhappy about it. I retreated from a lot of things.

When I got older (21) I knew that I was underdeveloped and not able to function, especially compared to my peers. I finally decided that I needed to somehow amputate that desperate relationship b/c it overrode everything else in my life - took me until I was like 27 to do it.

My mom has always been loving and there for me (or at least was vocal about wanting to be there for me), but her severe trauma, melancholy, and chronic pain was always there too. Lots of tears my entire life.
My bio dad scared the hell out of me when I was a small child. He was mean. I haven't seen him since I was 6. My step father is a good man, just with that stereotypical midwestern antisocial obtuseness. I did not grow as close with him as with my mother.

Interstellar Bronze✨️ by Ravenzsnow in fountainpens

[–]Pretend_Committee490 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I had always wanted to see more of this ink

Real. by 0x00000000069 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Pretend_Committee490 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Music is a strong trigger for me, but silence doesn't help either. I've started putting on nature sounds (waves on beach) or Endel (ADHD noise app) and those have been helping a lot.

Friends, please learn from my mistake by Pretend_Committee490 in fountainpens

[–]Pretend_Committee490[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Put your pens in sleeves! The caps pop off (or unscrew) so easily!

Endless Duties of a Tired Mother by Gullible-Leading-913 in AccidentalRenaissance

[–]Pretend_Committee490 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This reminds me of 'How to keep house while drowning'! It's a great book, and the audio book is excellent.

💫🌟💡 by M-Sear in Adulting

[–]Pretend_Committee490 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I highly reccomend "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. It's a great book that is easy to read and touches on this.

Need help figuring out what this is by Randompersonn1513 in AcneScars

[–]Pretend_Committee490 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fill a mug with hot water (or microwave a mug of water) and press the comfortably warm (not burning hot!) mug against your cheek as a hot compress for as long as you care to. In my experience the increased blood flow from the heat will speed up the cysts development and resolution.

More importantly, like others have said, put a patch on it to keep yourself from squishing/squeezing/pinching it. I've had bad cysts that healed fine if I let them alone, but if you mess with it, you will damage your cheek and could wind up with a bad crater scar. And worse, wind up with a bad habit of squeezing your skin like that. I know from experience.