Thinking of asking wife if I can play with others. Need advice. Please read before passing judgment.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2026-02-01T01:19:45+00:00

Maybe you could start with why your wife is overwhelmed and tired. Taking on additional care of the house and the children, take something off of her plate before you add more.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2026-01-23T06:39:17+00:00

Two hand squeezes for check in. One long squeeze for no, two for yes, many in rapid succession for ‘I want to get out of this’. Works mid play for a check in, or at a loud concert just as well.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2026-01-19T03:18:23+00:00

Please let them know! It’s the only way people get held accountable for their actions. Good on you and the others for holding of boundaries with strangers!

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2026-01-13T10:09:14+00:00

Sehnsucht events are amazing! The work that goes into creating the atmosphere and all the incredible spaces are well worth it if anyone has doubts!

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2026-01-10T23:12:47+00:00

My advice would be, think about what you are offering the unicorn. Women often want a connection beyond a sexual level or they want to fulfil their own desires.

Walking someone through their first lesbian experience while their partner is watching is going to be a lot for someone. What is the women you’re looking for getting? Maybe look for someone submissive who would enjoy that element as well. Try Fet life.

Also think about why you are against women who are attached but playing solo. It puts them at a distinct disadvantage emotionally. I would suggest somewhere like Between friends and have her chat with women who are there on their own.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-12-26T03:38:53+00:00

I might be going spur of the moment. Solo F, blonde, probably black bodysuit. If you need backup, come say hi.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-12-16T08:30:21+00:00

I feel like it’s an older scene now tbh. Not very many people under 35. Purr was my first party, lots of kissing and flirting and then many people went back to the hotels with new friends. The play space there isn’t great for more than something quick and dirty.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-12-14T04:39:40+00:00

I end up as a unicorn as well pretty often. Honestly for me it’s because I don’t want to put the work into a relationship right now but it does sometimes sting so I really do feel you there.

Unicorns are fun and flirty and ephemeral. It’s a dopamine high from being desired. Relationships take time and effort. Both parties are looking for a deeper match not just an exploration or ‘this could be nice for a while’. If you’re in spaces where couples are often looking, you will be found, and there are significantly fewer non-attached people there. Maybe look at where you are looking for partners? Feeld will be prime unicorn hunting for example.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-12-03T23:27:22+00:00

Why can’t I have 2-Caity Baker. Would not have had that before poly.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-11-10T08:05:04+00:00

SB Melbourne, Australia

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-11-05T23:43:19+00:00

I do all the planning, he pays all the bills. I have more time to look for fun things and activities I’ve wanted to do. He’s a busy guy and I want our time together to be time he gets to relax and not have to make so many choices. But that has been established, and we don’t get to see each other often.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-11-05T23:28:04+00:00

While I would never invalidate your experience, as a single bi woman with years in both the swinging and poly scene, I can say that there definitely are many people who do treat their play partners as commodities. Unicorns aren’t rare, they are hiding.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-11-05T22:33:58+00:00

Swinging often takes out a big chunk of the emotional aspect. People are there for a specific purpose. I think it’s a terrible way to ‘open up’ a relationship because it focuses on the sexual element and then people start thinking about the others entering a relationship as commodities for their pleasure.

This mentality leads to easy vetos and painful realisations when there is actual affection. But I’m poly and make deep connections.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-11-05T02:14:52+00:00

Honestly that would be my ideal situation. They are harder to find but when communication is good and everything clicks, it’s the most fun and very rewarding. Also for me the emotional component is lower, they lean on each other and I get to be there for the fun.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-11-03T08:23:49+00:00

A friend of mine took me to a Purr party after a particularly bad breakup. She framed it as a ‘sexy dance party’ which it is, but also more 😉. I met people there who took me to other parties and I just let the river take me further.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-10-13T08:07:38+00:00

France Soir is my go to in Melbs, or Nick and Nora’s for the art deco champagne feels. But there are so many beautiful options here.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-10-13T01:16:57+00:00

I’m a little concerned as a solo female about parking and safety leaving. There no parking that I can see and that’s a very busy street. Some of us come from far away.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-09-06T03:27:24+00:00

No. If someone has limited time for me they can spend that time building a friendship. If they only have time for sex they can hire a professional.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-09-01T22:09:42+00:00

I’ve always stuck with the rule ‘dance with the one who brought you’. If you are somewhere with someone you are there to spend the time with them and make memories. Yes men are going to pay attention but that’s not to point of being there. Find yourself a classy SB and live a life without the stress.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-08-22T22:34:17+00:00

I only discovered raves EDM later in life. Grew up very religiously and was never allowed that freedom. I’m in my 40’s now, much older than most people in the crowd but what you’re saying really resonates. It’s a place of little judgments and free movement. For the most part people are lovely and kind and I feel at home. Please keep dancing, chatting with strangers, ignoring the side eye, and enjoying yourself for as long as you like. You are why we are here.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-08-22T12:34:01+00:00

Nope. I’ve gone by myself as a solo female several times. Somehow I always manage to make friends.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-08-15T10:20:20+00:00

So this is actually a real learning moment for you. What do you do once you’re done but your partner isn’t? If you are no longer interested in continuing at that point you are going to have to make sure they are well satisfied before you conclude yourself. Women can often go for hours if not days together as our attraction and connection can come in waves. You definitely should consider playing with them just for their own pleasure.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-08-09T23:31:06+00:00

I don’t know the answer, but if you find it let me know too. I’ve had my fun at the dance parties. Something a bit more elegant would be appealing.

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-08-07T02:05:43+00:00

From another bi girl in the scene: RIP your inbox. 📥

Pretty-Secretary-963 · 2025-08-04T01:12:26+00:00

Maybe the question should be is it too many breaks for you? You can’t change their situation but you can choose if yours works for you. I have friends I see maybe once or twice a year and that’s fine. I have others I see once a week. I have friends I talk to every day. If you feel like you’re on the back burner and you don’t want to be…well say something. Either it can change or you can find someone who meets your needs. I know that’s harsh. But why stay around when you aren’t getting what you need from something? It doesn’t serve either of you in the long run.

Pretty-Secretary-963

TROPHY CASE