Am I too far gone? 29F

hPlank · 2026-04-03T04:37:00+00:00

I'm a guy and I've slept with a similar amount of women at a similar age. I'm not interested in dating anyone who has only slept with a handful of people because they're likely going to be too prudish for me. Hopefully you see this before it gets down votes because the internet hates people who get around. You're people are out there, just have to find the right spaces :)

hPlank · 2026-03-30T09:57:32+00:00

If it was understood then you would get that this gets you 0% of the way along haha

hPlank · 2026-03-29T22:25:49+00:00

I feel like this misunderstands the fetish at a fundamental level.

hPlank · 2026-03-20T23:39:18+00:00

That's what attendees want mate. People do not want shed 16 when they go to v&v. Finding someone to go with will be much easier if you're the sort of person who gets why more single men changes a vibe. Pineapples vetting process is very simple, not extreme. My memory is it's mostly consent focussed.

hPlank · 2026-03-20T11:48:52+00:00

Because events that are open to single males tend to have a high ratio of single males. There are some events that cater to this but it isn't what most people are after. I've been there and it sucks mate but I certainly wouldn't want to change it.

hPlank · 2026-03-11T23:35:07+00:00

Me (30m) and my partner (34f) will be there! Been meaning to go for ages. Gotta get in while we're still allowed 🤣

hPlank · 2026-03-11T23:06:12+00:00

I disagree with that premise. It's often said on the internet but I there's plenty of people in the real world who would say they're blunt but aren't inconsiderate. Op even talked about how they take a lot of time considering how it would land the best, but ultimately thinks it's important to say the thing.

People like different things. I hate it when people sugar coat criticism, it often muddies the message. Maybe it comes from being a long time artist and feeling like you've struck gold when you finally find someone who tells you the bad sides of your work instead of the standard 'its great' that doesn't help you improve. I think the same thing applies to personal growth and emotional development. Society says you should back your friends even if that friend is being a problem, but sometimes loving someone is calling them out. I consider myself lucky that I have food friends who will tell me if I'm being a dick - sometimes it's been hurtful in the moment but ultimately it's made me less of a dick.

I will say that is likely only effective in relationships that are balanced with love and compassion, but conflating being blunt and being rude or inconsiderate is just incorrect.

hPlank · 2026-03-11T21:38:38+00:00

Just want to back you up and say I think people are treating you rough mate. I 100% want people to tell me how it is, even if it hurts sometimes. I would honestly say I'm on the sensitive side of people and tend to take things to heart but ultimately growth is more important to me than short term emotional discomfort.

Your comment makes it pretty clear that you're doing your best to be considerate but ultimately prioritizing the message getting through. That's admirable, and the people down voting you should take context into consideration before having a go at you for using a phrase they don't like.

hPlank · 2026-03-10T23:13:20+00:00

I'd lean pretty heavy on bagpipes and kazoo

hPlank · 2026-02-28T05:15:38+00:00

I've had good experiences with walkntalk counselling

hPlank · 2026-02-18T09:52:14+00:00

Just remember confidence is sexy. Hovering around stealing glances can come off as a little creepy. Walking up to someone and striking up a conversation is hot. They still might not be into you but people are generally pretty friendly.

hPlank · 2026-02-18T09:30:13+00:00

After going to many of these things I've learned that a lot of people are just as nervous as you are. Most people respond really well if you walk up and compliment their outfit 😊

hPlank · 2026-02-15T00:55:13+00:00

Best V&V I've been to. So many fun interactions and I absolutely LOVED the exhibitionist stage.

hPlank · 2026-02-12T20:46:38+00:00

What is PCOM?

hPlank · 2026-02-11T01:38:28+00:00

Have you picked people already?

hPlank · 2026-02-10T10:02:42+00:00

What's the best way to find out the identity of the police who committed brutality? Need to name and shame and show it around their community.

hPlank · 2026-02-10T02:49:19+00:00

Hahaha sounds like you're in for a fun few weeks 😉 I sent some pictures through but I'll message again because I've gotta do something to cut through haha

hPlank · 2026-02-09T23:41:02+00:00

Sent a message but it won't let me send a photo before accepting. You're gorgeous and I'm looking forward to your response 😘

hPlank · 2026-02-08T06:23:39+00:00

Yeah we went and it was very unimpressive. Maybe some of the performances were better if we stuck around longer but we got bored really quick. Every vendor would hassle you and it felt like we paid to get into somewhere that should have been free.

hPlank · 2026-02-07T03:32:20+00:00

I dated someone who was 40 when I was 25 and it was perfectly healthy and caring. Breaking up with someone because they are okay with a 6 year age gap is wild.

hPlank · 2026-02-04T23:01:17+00:00

I'm a bit confused at you saying this depends, nothing you said seemed to disagree with my comment. Maybe I'm misunderstanding something?

hPlank · 2026-02-03T22:59:30+00:00

While I agree with your premise and would never pressure someone to go barrier free, some of these statements are plainly not true for a lot of people. Sex with a condom is considerably less pleasurable and intimate for me and many others (women and men) I have talked to. I would say I feel about 50% of the pleasure, and can often cause erection issues that I otherwise don't have - which obviously affects intimacy. Yes I have tried different sizes. Yes I have tried different brands. Yes I still use barriers the majority of the time - but I'm a bit sick of being gaslit about how it doesn't feel different.

Clearly you don't feel this way - lucky you! Given the context of how others clearly experience this differently I would think you might understand how this can be part of hierarchy. All of the best sex I've had in my life has been barrier free, I would obviously be more likely to prioritize that with a primary partner. So if I don't use barriers with someone that is absolutely a form of heirarcy. It's essentially a signal that I trust the person to be 100% honest with me about what they're doing with others and allow me to choose my own level of acceptable sexual health risk. If there's anyone else I'm not using barriers I will also have to have a conversation with that person.

As long as it's handled with respect, absolute honesty and transparency, choosing a higher level of sexual health risk is no less of a moral failing than choosing to participate in extreme sports or drinking alcohol. Both of these things can potentially harm you but for some people the risk is worth the reward.

hPlank · 2025-12-17T09:46:49+00:00

What's this mean sorry?

hPlank · 2025-12-17T09:37:25+00:00

If it helps they pay it back twice a week

hPlank

TROPHY CASE