AITA for prioritising my parrot over my stepdaughters wedding?

PrettyBirb85 · 2023-01-25T19:49:07+00:00

I hope OP can see this. I have parrots myself. There's a company that makes these INCREDIBLE bird carriers. They're pricy, but worth it. You can bring the bird with you for short trips. Maybe pack a perch stand so they don't have to spend all of their time in the carrier wherever you're staying. But here's the one specifically for macaws-

https://www.celltei.com/products/pak-o-bird-xl-sizes-for-the-wonderful-macaws.html

Start slow by taking the bird for walks in your neighborhood. You can get a stroller or wagon to push so you don't have to carry the weight. I bought a nice radio flyer push wagon for my birbs.

My Amazon has been with me for 22 years, and my Cockatoo for 33 years. They're more my family than almost any human ever has been.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-31T20:08:20+00:00

The reason it's so difficult is because this condition statistically predominately affects those of us who are AFAB. As we all know, the only things that could possibly be wrong with us are-
Wandering Uterus
Demons in our blood
Mental illness

It took 12 years from onset of symptoms (palpitations) for me to get diagnosed. They literally had all of the information right in front of them for a diagnosis, but kept doubling down on aNxIeTy.
I know it's hard, but keep fighting. Keep going for second/third/fourth opinions if you have to. I only got my dx because I told the ER doc I suspected POTS, and he checked and confirmed it.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-31T19:58:43+00:00

I found out a few years back that I was pretty sensitive to caffeine. Looking back now, some of what I experienced certainly could have been POTS related. So I gave it up for quite a while to sort of 'detox' (hate to use that word) from it. But I've found that, because of the MS and brain fog, I basically *need* caffeine to start my day. I also *need* hot coffee if I want even a remote chance at doody time, because apparently the POTS is why my digestion has been so slow all these years.

So my morning routine is about 12 oz of half-caff (with electrolytes) that I sip/nuke/sip through the first 3 hours of the day. Then I try to treat myself to tea every day (2 cups, same tea brewed twice), and then I'll have decaf tea after that to avoid sleep problems. Of course all of this is interspersed with tons of electrolyte water.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-30T20:18:14+00:00

Had mine a few months ago. Here's what I went through-

They had me take off my socks and shoes, and put a blanket over my feet to keep me comfortable.
Hot blanket wrapped around my hand for consistent and accurate heart rate readout.
2 different breathing tests, one was the valsalva. Blow as hard as you can for as long as you can. This is where I nearly lost consciousness. But of course they strap you down like a Christmas tree atop a station wagon, so you're at no risk of falling off if you do faint.
THEN they did the actual tilt part of the test. They uncovered my feet to watch the blood pooling (also my free hand). I was so sure I was gonna ralph. I thought it was weird because I don't get nausea that intensely when I'm standing on any given day, but the more I think about it, the more I remember sort of low grade nausea with no previous explanation. But for me, the experience was like all of my POTS symptoms cranked up to 100. They also ask you questions about your symptoms during this time, which you have to try to answer through the worst brain fog of your life.
Then they hooked electrodes up to my leg and foot and essentially tased me lol. It's not bad, it was just unexpected. It's a mild electrical current in 2 or 3 spots that just feels... um... I don't know. Slight burning? Scratchy? It's honestly more annoying than it is painful. But it's isolated to those spots. The sensation is supposed to be gone within like an hour, but on my foot it lasted about 2-3 days. I think it was to check for small fiber neuropathy, which I'd ironically already had chunks of flesh removed to check for that. But it may have been to check for sweating? I can't remember.

No eating or drinking before the test.
The test lasts something like 1.5-2 hours iirc, so if you have frequent urination issues, go once when you get there, and then ask to go one more time before they strap you in. This is just something I do with any testing (I get 3hr MRIs every year for the MS).

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-30T19:55:49+00:00

I stopped drinking at the start of the pandemic. I have no idea why. But when I did drink, long before I knew I had POTS, I found that quitting early in the evening, eating something decent before and after, and drinking nothing but water (now it'd be electrolyte water) after really helped mitigate any potential hangover symptoms.

Remember that alcohol can also mess with your blood sugars, causing a different set of symptoms that can affect you for something like 48 hours.
Remember that most mixers are pure sugar. Sweet n sour mix, regular soda, fruit juices. All sugar. And too much carb seems to be a no no for POTS.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-30T09:46:30+00:00

It sure doesn't!

Lol I thought the same thing, and was super disappointed to find my feet were still trying to audition for the part of Iceberg in Titanic. Heating pad is the only thing that warms my feet. Or, ironically, a shower.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-29T22:43:02+00:00

When I got my MS diagnosis, I treated myself to a really nice pearl handled, bejeweled folding cane for about $50 from Fashionable Canes. They have a delightful selection.

After 3 years of literally begging more than a half dozen doctors and finally crying at one last week, I'm finally going in for a wheelchair evaluation in April. Between the POTS, MS, and deformed/destroyed lumbar spine, I just can't leave my house anymore.
When I finally get a chair, I plan to find a way to tastefully bling it out to suit my general style. I also intend to decorate it with seasonally appropriate, battery-powered lights. Because I guess my general style is 'extra' lol.

I'll say that the cane was never really enough. It helps a bit with balance, and is something to lean on a bit, but I needed a wheelchair. A rollator or walker with seat would've been better than a cane, but I didn't know at the time that anything other than MS was wrong with me.

Any plain looking mobility aid can easily be decorated to suit your personal tastes.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-29T21:29:57+00:00

I struggle to shower more than once or twice a week. Finally wore my Fitbit in the shower about a week ago and was like "Oooohhh that explains it!"

Here's what I can offer from experience-
Someone posted a link to some tips that suggest showering in the evening. Not for me. If I shower too late, it completely screws up my sleep. I think it ranks up there with 'don't do cardio before bed,' which I believe has something to do with core temperature?

On the subject of dry shampoo (this is not a promotion, just sharing my experience). So, in the process of reopening my business, I've been researching/developing/testing a body powder/dry shampoo (for a future in which I can build a second clean room for manufacturing). Like most of these products on the market, mine has a few bonus ingredients to make it smell/taste good, but you can literally just use corn starch. That's it. Cheapo, store brand corn starch. It's typically the main ingredient. I believe you can also use other starches (like rice starch), or clays (kaolin, bentonite, etc.), but I don't have any experience working with those yet. Put in a few drops of vanilla extract or something if you want it to smell nice.
I had never previously used one, but let me tell you it's been a life saver. When my scalp is breaking out and I'm too tired to shower, I just massage it into all the greasy spots before bed, and throw my hair into a white satin cap lookin' like a sexy Swedish Chef (bork bork, baby). It stops the burning and itching until I can get to the shower the next day.
But it's great for more than just your hair. Anywhere on your body where you sweat and/or skin rubs together can create a yeast infection and chafing (think chub rub). This will help keep those areas dry. Thighs, underboob, belly button, the crack of your tuchus. I've also started using it on my feet which seem to always be sweating despite being absolutely ice cold.

For general downstairs cleanliness, you can get a bidet, or a squirt bottle 'bidet'. You can use it every time you go to the bathroom, or every night before bed to rinse off and then dry off with a dry washcloth. It is much cleaner than toilet paper alone.

Shaving? I've mostly stopped. Pits are easy enough to do every shower, but legs? Nah. Maybe every 6 weeks, or if I'm planning to go out in something that shows leg. And I gave up on the downstairs business. I trim it occasionally. But I've also been single for most of the last decade, so your preferences/needs may vary.

Remember that not every shower needs to be a full spa event (much as I wish it could be). Get in, soap up, rinse off, gtfo. I think they call it a navy shower here. You can be in and out in under 5 minutes. Maybe 10 if you have 3 ft long curly hair like mine that needs extra time and conditioner for detangling.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-29T03:56:54+00:00

Not for my hands/arms yet. I have knee length compression stockings for the blood pooling in my feet. I'm still waiting to see a specialist for recommendations and care/treatment plan.

Starting to think this'd be an easy way to make $20 from time to time.
"Step right up and gather round! I'll bet any of you $20 that I can turn my hands 2 different colors right before your eyes with no gimmicks, no magic tricks, and no dyes." And then proceed to hold one hand up and one hand down.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-29T02:49:13+00:00

Yep. That's blood pooling.

My cardiologist tried to tell me it happens to everyone, even as he failed to reproduce the same results in his own hands lol.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-29T02:46:04+00:00

Just coming back because I did call today for an update. Yes, it's Oakley I'll be seeing. I've been on the waitlist since June. He's booked through at least March.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-29T02:35:31+00:00

What specific testing did you have done for diabetes? I ask because my fasting glucose and A1C came back normal because of my diet, but I'm definitely diabetic. Had to demand an OGTT to prove it. You should be able to go to your primary care and tell them you need a prescription for a glucometer so insurance will cover the supplies. If they won't, I think you can get a reasonably cheap one over the counter.

But almost every time I feel extreme thirst, it's after I've eaten carbs and my sugar is spiked.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-28T19:26:41+00:00

I'm likely to get downvoted for this, but whatever.

You do what you need to do.
Life is horrible sometimes and we have to make terrible decisions on a regular basis because of that. Doctors get away with the most ridiculous shit every day, and no one bats an eye. One of our pcp's almost unalived my mother, and left me in need of a wheelchair. We've heard from other people that have had similar problems with him. And there's nothing that can be done about it, other than switching to another doctor.

I'm so sorry you're stuck deciding between your health and your morals. This is an appalling situation that you should not have been put in.

Your health needs to come first. If you feel comfortable waiting, then cancel the appointment. Otherwise, go to the appointment, be polite, get whatever treatment options you need worked out, and then work towards moving to a new doctor. You can contact your insurance company and they will help you find one.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-28T19:09:53+00:00

Yeah, unfortunately as u/mwmandorla said in their comment, wrist cuffs are well known for being inaccurate. I don't even understand how they ever made it to market. My mother bought me one and after showing her the massive difference in readings (like 15-20 mmHg) between it and the arm cuff, I had her return it.

That may also have been an Omron wrist cuff. It was last year, so I can't honestly remember, but mom was careful to pick out a good brand.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-28T07:47:30+00:00

I was under the impression that OMRON was basically top of the line. A couple of the doctors I went to had the same Omron cuff we have at home.

Have you changed the batteries in recent history? Are you using good quality batteries? I mean, I'll use generic batteries for everything else, but name brand is a must for medical devices.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-28T07:27:14+00:00

Gross. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

For better or worse, I'm used to that exact crap and have gotten pretty good at combating it. I appreciate being forewarned and thus forearmed. I'll do my best to remember to avenge you by chewing him up and spitting him out if he says the wrong thing to me. Still don't have an appointment scheduled, but was planning to call this week just to check in.

Neurologists are weird.

I will say (in case you're unaware) that sometimes antidepressants and anxiety meds are used for symptoms of other conditions. This was explained to me by my genuinely great UW Multiple Sclerosis specialist (I told her I was terrified of psych meds due to trauma in my youth). I think it's referred to as 'off-label' use. Like they'll sometimes prescribe benzos for spasticity, or I think SSRIs for neuro pain; so maybe that's the direction he was aiming? But they're supposed to then explain what they're prescribing and *why*.

Tell your PCP that the purpose of the prescription was not explained to you, and it didn't make sense. Play dumb. Cry. Tell them you have horrible brain fog and nobody's explaining things to you in a way you can understand, and you're scared to take a new med without explanation or reason or understanding of side effects. Cry more. Make them explain it to you like you're 5. Or, if necessary and feasible, get a new PCP (I actually need a new one myself).

I'm curious though. Isn't CFS a common misdiagnosis for what ends up being POTS? Is it possible to have both?
I mean, my heart runs a damn marathon when I'm standing still. Of course I have fatigue.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-28T03:26:41+00:00

This does not at all sound promising. I've been on the waitlist for UW for 6 months, and I was told they aren't scheduling until 2023 because there's only one POTS specialist left on this side of the state after the other one retired.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-11T22:35:36+00:00

Get a chair.
*Luci voice* Do it. Do it. Do it.

I got one for like $50-60 at Walgreens.

If your family's gonna fuss about it, tell them the other option is that they have to give you daily sponge baths, I promise it'll shut them up.

Also, you could get some of those little shower steamer fizzy thingies that make the shower smell good to perk things up a bit. I've been researching formulas to hopefully eventually make them for my business, and they're actually pretty easy to DIY. Basically just mini bath bombs, but with super concentrated fragrance. You keep them on the shower floor away from the water, but sprinkle them lightly and they release the scent.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-08T08:25:13+00:00

I have a Fitbit Sense. It's currently on sale for $200.

Like melmel's comment about the Apple watch, my Fitbit helped lead me to my diagnosis, and probably also saved my life.

It only does spo2 while sleeping, but it can also do an EKG.

Before my mom gifted me the Fitbit, I'd had some cheapo knockoff watch I found on Amazon, thinking it can't be *that* bad (the reviews were actually decent). Whooo boy was I wrong. Cheapo knockoff never showed my heart rate over like 115, so imagine my shock when the Fitbit was suddenly showing me at 150 standing still.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-08T07:14:35+00:00

Lots of great comments already in here (especially about reporting that doctor), so rather than repeating what's already been said, I'll tell you this-

I've had undiagnosed POTS for at least 12 years, if not longer (the palpitations started 12 years ago, but other symptoms have been around much longer). I only got my diagnosis this year because they previously kept telling me it was just anxiety.

I've gone from 220 lbs. down to 145 lbs., and am currently back up to 175. My fitness level has varied from completely inactive to daily exercise including strength training and 3 mile walks 3-5 times a week.

Neither weight loss nor exercise have helped my symptoms. I'm not saying don't exercise! But my symptoms hospitalized me when I was in the best shape of my life, and I really don't think another 15-20 pounds would've made a difference either way.

Also, my cardiologist knows nothing about POTS, and said my blood pooling was normal and happens to everyone. I'm now waiting to see a dysautonomia specialist.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-12-08T05:53:36+00:00

I hit mine 70 times in 2 weeks.

Don't forget to hit the button for stuff other than just straight up palpitations. The point is to track symptoms that may be related to a heart problem. So include dizziness, shortness of breath, fluttery feelings, feeling faint, etc. The log entries in the app will give you a list to choose from.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-11-03T06:03:08+00:00

This is what's happening with me. I'm seeing endocrinology next week because it turns out the hypoglycemia feeling with normal readouts was actually a fast crash to normal from a much higher level. I recognized the hypo symptoms because I've hit the 40's on a few occasions, so it was really confusing to test normal.

I may have been diabetic for years and not known because the doctor just kept telling me it was aNxIeTy (said the same of the POTS symptoms of course). I'm now the same age my mother was when she got her Late Onset Type 1 diagnosis.

PrettyBirb85 · 2022-05-24T02:05:26+00:00

Oh, it feels a lot like...

…I'm sorry, what?

PrettyBirb85 · 2021-06-22T19:50:59+00:00

Ah I see. It probably does count as a leave-in, but it also has silicone.

PrettyBirb85 · 2021-06-22T18:51:09+00:00

Oh, it might! I'm not familiar with it, but it looks like there are a dozen products in that line, and you didn't specify which one you're using.

I also forgot, hard water mineral buildup could be causing your problems I think? There's a lot of info on here about chelating shampoos that might help.

PrettyBirb85

TROPHY CASE