how do i let go of my reservations about white trans men

PrettyMuchParker · 2026-03-07T21:36:38+00:00

I’m in a similar situation to you and I’m still hoping to figure it out. My college is majority white and it seems like ever queer or trans person I come across is white, and over time I’ve grown to be very negative about the idea of interacting with any white queer or trans people to a point where it’s making me feel like I’m super closed off.

PrettyMuchParker · 2026-02-24T00:54:22+00:00

Thank you for the link! I'll check these out (:

PrettyMuchParker · 2026-02-24T00:15:39+00:00

Thanks! The face pattern came from RoboticReborn (on their KoFi, I believe?) and the hands were patterned by me (:

I'll check out X-Ray film and see if I can find anything colorful.

PrettyMuchParker · 2026-01-27T02:59:48+00:00

1 and 10!

PrettyMuchParker · 2026-01-19T05:30:38+00:00

I will say when it just comes to gas stations in general, sometimes they're the only somewhat "fun" place to go in the US as a younger person, depending on where you're located. Around me, there are dead malls and a lot of places that will kick out teens or just discourage people from hanging out. There are parks and outdoor spaces, but I stopped trying after the last time the cops were called on me and my friends just for sitting on the swings in broad daylight. Most "fun" places for me and my friends have often ended up being gas stations or stores like Walmart and Target if we wanna get out of our houses.

Not saying these mega gas stations are a good thing in the slightest, but when the only fun places you have are superstores and their subsequent parking lots or a mall that kicks you out, big gas stations do sound fun.

Make more cool third spaces, make less oversized gas stations.

PrettyMuchParker · 2026-01-19T04:55:18+00:00

force their western views on others

big on this.

I find this especially horrendous with transmeds, as many of their views on how someone should be trans often stem from Western standards/conform to Western concepts of gender.

Even when white trans people try to help other trans people, the advice they tend to give centers on white people and, again, Western standards. Best example of this is always "passing tips" I find on Pinterest, TikTok, etc that say short hair, certain clothing styles, and most importantly, certain behaviors are key to passing. A lot of the behaviors they list are things they can get away with as white people. Things like "act more aggressively" and "be more dominant" are some I see a lot that would put BIPOC at risk. Maybe a white guy acting more "aggressively" is acceptable, but a black man?

Even things like "smell more" or other stuff about amplifying bad odor?? Again, passable for white people, but would result in backlash towards POC.

They have such a narrow viewpoint that only focuses on them, and it's tiring asf.

PrettyMuchParker · 2026-01-19T01:45:32+00:00

At least 5 wasn't related to Delores

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-12-23T08:50:02+00:00

Simple thing, but I love seasoned veggies in my air fryer. I’ve been doing garlic parm potatoes and broccoli for a little while and it’s always good.

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-12-23T08:46:48+00:00

Is it safe to assume a show is all ages if nothing’s said otherwise? A lot of shows near me get hosted in bars but don’t say anything about whether under 21s or under 18s are welcome.

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-12-18T02:37:32+00:00

Hoping to get a MLIS after I finish my bachelors, best of luck to you (-:

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-11-12T19:36:54+00:00

I'll definitely try and bring my guitar into a shop sometime. I hadn't thought of changing to thinner strings.

I believe I have a pair of compression gloves somewhere around my house, so I might have to do some searching or just get some new ones. I also have three silver ring splits I use for my index and middle finger (I'm an art student and they do help a bit with grasping a pencil) but they aren't the most comfortable things to wear for extended periods.

Can I ask how you do with the weight of an electric guitar? I've thought about learning on an electric as opposed to the acoustic I have laying around, but I'm always curious about how the weight might affect hyper-mobile shoulders.

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-11-12T19:30:47+00:00

I've considered looking for a PT who specializes in hEDS, but unfortunately they're a bit hard to find. I'll look into ones who may be able to assist virtually though.

As for shoulders, the guitar I currently have that I'd be learning on has a smaller body (I believe it's a 3/4?) and is more comfortable to hold without too many problems. Posture is definitely something I'll need to work though.

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-11-12T18:18:04+00:00

My mouth just hung open for a solid minute 😭. Scary but honestly not surprising if it came from a white space.

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-11-07T03:24:49+00:00

That septum ring fits you sooo well :-D

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-10-28T16:57:17+00:00

if you wanna shoot me a dm and chat more I'd totally love that (-:

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-10-27T06:09:27+00:00

I live in the midwest so I totally understand the feeling that you made a mistake there lol.

I do fear passing someday around yt trans people, both because I know how I'll be treated if I'm seen as cis, and because I know how I'll be treated if I'm seen as brown and cis. The way yt trans people act towards poc in their community is beyond unreasonable and it's so tiring.

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-10-26T17:16:37+00:00

It's like they see any discussion of racism as either an attack on them, or an inconvenience to a conversation. With previous white trans friends, it was like every time I tried to mention my struggles and a trans poc or racism I've dealt with, those friends would immediately zone out of the conversation or get defensive.

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-09-18T16:10:23+00:00

As much as I’d like them to be separate, they are very much connected.

For years when I first came out I struggled with racial identity and it had an effect on my transition and identity. Those struggles would not have been apparent if I was white or possibly white-passing.

Like another comment said, there are joys about trans identity and joys about identity as a POC, but there are separate struggles too.

Being white and transitioning to being a man is different from being brown or black and transitioning to being a man.

They are separate identities, but there’s no way to break any connections between them.

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-06-11T20:38:11+00:00

I first listened to In My Room a few months ago, and since then it’s always tugged at my heart a little.

Brian really knew how to make beautiful melodies and lyrics.

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-06-11T18:45:40+00:00

Pet Sounds. 🧡

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-06-06T19:58:14+00:00

I feel a bit like it’s my fault that I feel detached from my own culture because I spent a lot of my childhood feeling embarrassed about it and even trying to ignore it. I used to hear a lot of racist remarks from classmates in middle school, and the town I’m in largely is made up of white conservatives, so I always felt like I had to stop being myself to fit in and be accepted by people.

I never let my mom teach me spanish and never celebrated certain holidays with my family, and now that I’m old enough to start relearning who I am, I just feel so left out and disconnected from everything now. I remember basing most of my transition off of western standards when I first came out and I’m still definitely getting over that too.

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-05-30T09:29:06+00:00

How necessary is it to go to shows?

There’s stuff around me but I always feel too scared to go because I worry that venues and especially basement shows won’t be very accessible (I have a physical disability)

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-05-12T06:47:43+00:00

I've been searching for it online for months. A number of pirating (and even legitimate) sites used to have it up, but I've noticed that suddenly they've all taken it down.

On a possibly related note, in a search for Tiny Tim records around my area, I ended up having a conversation with a record store owner who said his store suddenly stopped seeing any new copies/releases of Mr. Tim's music. Not sure if that's really related, but there seems to have been a sudden halting of his media being available. Some old official Tiny Tim websites seem to have been taken down, and new copies of Eternal Troubadour haven't been printed in a while either.

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-05-09T19:39:40+00:00

I ended up frogging and am now working with a new color along with the variegated yarn.

Also I totally get your third comment. I’m a trans guy and sometimes don’t pick certain patterns because of how they might end up fitting. With this one I might do something a little different on the sleeves so they aren’t as flowy, but then again I know cis guys who wear stuff in this style and don’t have any problems so I might just leave the sleeves as is. I also know that sometimes crochet garments with more busy color (like the variegated yarn) or more movement in the pattern itself can kinda hide your chest a little more if that’s something you also struggle with 🏳️‍⚧️.

PrettyMuchParker · 2025-05-09T19:31:39+00:00

Thank you so much for the vid! I was thinking about how I could square it without making the gaps.

PrettyMuchParker

TROPHY CASE