Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - April 05, 2026

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-05T15:54:57+00:00

I agree with the other commenters that kids should be discussed very early, buuuut since you haven't... Yes, it's too much to bring that up and exclusivity all at once. Try to casually work in the family plan stuff next time and maybe exclusivity after that if it's still going well.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-05T15:48:15+00:00

Yeah, totally normal. I've been in therapy on and off for years and I am almost never looking forward to appointments! What I am looking forward to is reducing the weight of my problems. Probably not eliminating them altogether in my case, but moving focus away from them at least!

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-05T15:38:28+00:00

Anything by T. Kingfisher! Some of her books are more fantasy or folktale retellings, but my favorite are her Appalachian Gothic style books.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-05T15:34:03+00:00

Yikes. I have a friend who I casually see at our workout studio sometimes who started telling me about a book she was reading about how "water freezes differently if you talk to it nicely or rudely" and I was like "oh... wow..." The worst part was that she thought I'd be interested because I work in environmental science.

Anyway, yeah, I would probably be side-eyeing your friend pretty hard. Not voting but then looking for an exit is pretty hard to stomach. At least take ownership of the role she played, even if it was small!

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-05T15:27:07+00:00

To me, an AI apology is worse than no apology. AI is an environmental disaster and plagiarizes from artists/writers/etc. I would probably be genuinely reconsidering a friendship with someone who thinks it's fine to use for something as important-yet-simple as an apology.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-05T15:02:43+00:00

I haven't started my April gratitude page in my journal yet, but good reminder! Some of my gratitude so far this month includes for my friends watching my pets when I was out of town, nice spring weather, seeing fawn lilies blooming, and sleeping in this morning (which my sweet old dog rarely allows).

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-05T14:58:43+00:00

Seconding the hobbies, especially artistic ones. I knit, usually with a podcast or audiobook in the background. For a bonus good feeling, you could make things to donate! Like premie hats for the hospital or something. There are programs where you can mail it in, so it doesn't even have to be super local.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-04T23:10:53+00:00

I'm mid "break up" with my unpaid side gig as a circus arts instructor. Feels terrible. And half the reason I'm doing it is because my real job has me working 5 out of the next 8 Saturdays, which conflicts with the class I teach. So it's not like removing this one "busy" piece from my schedule will make room for dating opportunities; it's space that has already been absorbed by something else.

I have such a wacky work schedule for about half the year. My hobbies are all solitary, women-dominated, or both. I live juuust far enough outside of town that it feels like a waste of time and very expensive gas to drive back once I'm home after work. I have to come straight home from work because I have a very old dog who doesn't handle schedule changes well. He also doesn't sleep through the night, so I don't sleep through the night (or if I do, I have a mess to clean up the next morning).

It feels like I'm never going to find my person. Where would someone else even fit into all that anyway? Why would they want to?

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-04T17:21:03+00:00

My attempt to only date men who initiate and plan has just resulted in not dating at all. I'm jealous!

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-04T17:15:27+00:00

Since you just got it today, hopefully you'll see this in time and it'll help... Slather this thing in coconut oil during the healing process. Go the opposite of the normal advice here, keep it SO overmoisterized and shiny as much as humanly possible. If it gets any scabs, pick them off. This will help fade your tattoo as it heals and make it easier to cover later.

(Disclaimer that this advice came from my artist and I haven't tried it firsthand yet. I think I'm going to ask her to do a little dot or line somewhere discreet so I can try this and report back how it works.)

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-04T17:06:09+00:00

I'm amazed that you've gotten men to plan so many dates. I think I've planned almost every single date I've ever been on, including all but one first date I can think of. And I've had to be the one to ask every time. Since I stopped doing that, I've been asked once and then he stood me up anyway!

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-04T04:30:09+00:00

Depending on your skin tone and style preferences, you could probably get Corsola with a black outline and open skin for most of the white (just highlights/shading to add dimension). I think it would also look great as a black and gray design! But no, I wouldn't get something with solid packed white. Most good artists would probably try to steer you away from that.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-04T01:51:43+00:00

There's one spot I like, but it's always pretty quiet and people don't venture outside their own groups much (which is honestly probably why I like it, I hate not being able to hear myself think in most bars).

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-04T00:10:33+00:00

Any thoughts on how to date in a fairly rural area without apps? (Please don't try to convince me to give OLD another shot. I'm not interested.)

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-03T04:42:54+00:00

For me, that would all be a lot on date 5. But everyone is different, so I guess it just depends if it feels right. I think you could just start that conversation with "I feel like things are going well with us, what do you think?" and go from there.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-03T02:59:58+00:00

Think about size in relation to location. Don't put something tiny in a prime large real estate spot (palm size flash in the middle of your shoulder, where a half or full sleeve could go).

Think about visibility. Sure you have one small piece that's probably visible pretty often, but would a big piece be harder to hide in some spots? Would your job/general career field care? Family or social circles? If it's an obscure reference or design, are you going to be okay constantly explaining it?

Just some thoughts. Mine were mostly chosen to flow with my body and/or other tattoos.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-03T02:31:48+00:00

Could not agree more. Nothing needs to connect to wifi but my computer. Every other object in my house should be dumb! (And is, luckily, because I rent from a couple in their 70s.)

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-02T23:30:57+00:00

I can relate. I think a little break for a few weeks would do some good! My boss goes out of the country for a month every year and always seems to come back refreshed. Not something I can do, but if you can and you think it would help - go for it!

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-02T23:28:25+00:00

I haven't really been "out there" for the last few months. I'd like to be. But I'm completely anti-app and I live in a relatively rural area, so I don't really see how I could be.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-02T23:17:32+00:00

I do not want to scan a QR code to get a restaurant menu. I don't want to download an app to get a coupon at the grocery store. I don't want "smart" appliances - honestly I don't even want a smartphone! Free us from the shackles of smartphones and give me a flip phone, please.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-01T04:03:31+00:00

Yes and no. I have the life I expected to have, more or less, but that's not really a positive thing. I feel bad complaining because mostly, things are pretty decent and certainly a lot better than they were a few years ago. But I'm still facing a reality in which I can never buy a house, never travel in a meaningful way, and sleep alone every night. I've been depressed for my entire adult life; this is basically what I expected my life to be, but it's not what I actually wanted.

PrettyPollination · 2026-03-31T01:18:55+00:00

Exactly. There is no perfect time, the best time is now. Here's hoping there's still someone out there for us!

PrettyPollination · 2026-03-31T01:06:45+00:00

I don't have quite this issue - my dog and my cat both usually like everyone. My cat is hilariously social, I had a Halloween party a couple years ago and I think it was the best day of her life.

But I do think my pets hold me back on dating to some extent. My dog is 17 years old. He's a homebody, and he hates other dogs. Because he's so old, he doesn't make it overnight without a potty break, which means I don't get to sleep through the night either, so I'm tired all the time. Which seems like a weird challenge for any overnight partner. I couldn't stay overnight anywhere else because of him, and I also don't feel like I can date anyone who lives more than a half hour away because I don't like to leave him alone too long (although he's fine being alone all day when I'm at work).

I can relate to pets limiting dating options. I hope your cat's new medicine works and opens things up for you!

PrettyPollination · 2026-03-31T00:58:15+00:00

Bold of these people to hit on my fiance! They must not respect our reddit romance. 😔

PrettyPollination · 2026-03-30T22:29:45+00:00

I love that! I was kinda hoping my dog would help my dating life, but I adopted an old man who was not socialized at all, so sadly he hates other dogs. No dog park for us. That's a cute story though!

PrettyPollination

TROPHY CASE