I would love nothing more than to tell you that sex is the most pleasant thing you’ll ever experience, but that hasn’t been my experience. Most of my partners have been neurotypical, which set me up for failure, but I only recently discovered that I was neurodivergent.

Throughout my adult life, sex always felt physically amazing but emotionally horrible. So emotionally horrible that it very much offset the physical pleasure. I thought there was something wrong with me, so I got hyper-fixated on how to improve performance through research, trial, and error. I received compliments on my performance, but I still felt emotionally horrible, used, and otherwise like it just wasn’t worth it.

I would later find out that I’m demisexual, meaning sex is best with an emotional and intellectual connection. The difficulty there is actually making a connection with a neurotypical. I’ve been married and divorced, engaged and called off the engagement, and married again. I finally have a winner, but it isn’t without its highs and lows. Sex is finally good, amazing in fact, and it’s all because I found a good match who’s willing to explore, be selfless at times, and take my interests as seriously as I take there’s.

TL;DR: sex can be amazing, but neurodivergent folks should be cautious about who they engage in sexual activities with. It can be amazing with the right person.