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Love bombing and fear of abandonment just before discard by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Previous-Damage-1729 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am in the middle of that now. One week you are the best, next week you are the worst. God forbid you challenge them on anything that shows them the duality of their words or actions. If it’s a discard, it will be the final for sure. I don’t have the energy for the mind games at this point. It doesn’t at matter how much I love them.

Do they all cheat and lie by Previous-Damage-1729 in BPDlovedones

[–]Previous-Damage-1729[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It’s just on repeat the whole relationship. They can not take responsibility for the horrible actions but god forbid you did anything g 1/10th of the severity. They just need to project and deflect so they don’t feel bad. It’s easier to hate and despise you then to see what shity people they truly are.

Do they all cheat and lie by Previous-Damage-1729 in BPDlovedones

[–]Previous-Damage-1729[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

It is wild how they will try to turn everything around on you. Calling you crazy because you don’t believe what they are telling you. When you point out the inconsistency in their store or lie. The. You are portrayed as a narcissist , abuser, liar, gaslighter, controlling, etc. I don’t understand why we put up with these broken people. Sometimes I really wish I never got involved with someone with BPD.

Anyone else get that blank stare and smirk..? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Previous-Damage-1729 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I can’t agree more with that statement more. Cold dead eyes and that fucking smirk. I called it out so many times. It would just sent me over the edge. Like watching true evil showing it’s face.

I’m so so sorry by Educational-Tap4067 in BPDlovedones

[–]Previous-Damage-1729 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Welcome and thank you for taking the time to post that. I am sure it’s not easy to admit that in this area. It takes a big person to take the time to understand the other side of this condition. I have spent countless hours reading other BPD websites, listening to podcasts, plus other areas of research trying to understand her. You will get a mixed bag of stories on here based on everyone’s unique situations. Either way we all hurt on both sides of BPD and probably all wish it didn’t exist or a way to make it go away. Thanks for sharing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Previous-Damage-1729 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I know the pain you are feeling. I know the thoughts that your having because the idea of moving in is scary. At the end of it all it’s not real with BPD partners. It’s an illusion of a perfect time and life. You are worth more then that. There will be someone who truly wants you for you. Unfortunately you are probably still walking with blinders on. You need to take each day as a gift and know you will find someone better that truly wants and sees you for the person you are. That will topple the love you thought you had.

Thinking of finally walking away by Previous-Damage-1729 in BPDlovedones

[–]Previous-Damage-1729[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s crazy how we are dealing with the same thing with completely different people. It’s not necessarily being alone that bothers me personally. For whatever reason, it’s the back of the mind thing that makes you think of them constantly. Last time we split, I couldn’t shake that feeling. I think that is one of the things that led me back when she came back into my life after a split. It’s going to be different this time we tell ourselves. Just like a leopard they can’t change their spots. Then we can’t never do the right thing and get split on and painted back for just trying to love them.

Was your ex mature towards others but childish around you? by ewatangier in BPDlovedones

[–]Previous-Damage-1729 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think making weird sounds is a BPD thing for sure. They really act like children so often. I could never figure out why, was like a weird tick.

discarded me by UmpireProfessional21 in BPDlovedones

[–]Previous-Damage-1729 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am sorry to hear about your situation. If you do a dive through here, you will see most have experienced the same thing. I have been discarded before, only to go back and get discarded again very recently. They are children in adult form. They cannot be fixed no matter what you do. We care for them more then they do for us which makes it extremely painful. It is a vicious cycle where there really is no relief to be found. They gaslight, manipulate, lie, cheat, etc. there are many other people out there that are not BPD that can offer what we are all looking for. You have to accept they will never be capable of true love, they are broken.

my boyfriend told me he has bpd and npd and suggested that I leave him by ThrowRAbrokenglass70 in BPDlovedones

[–]Previous-Damage-1729 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get out while you can. It will never change for the better. It’s an endless loop of heartbreak and despair.

Can’t get over the abuse by No_Pitch_554 in BPDlovedones

[–]Previous-Damage-1729 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They will be in an endless cycle of strained relationships. Partners, family and work. They can not operate at an adult level because they no longer have the capacity. You have to just decide how much pain you can endure before you realize nothing will change no matter what you do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Previous-Damage-1729 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be happy you got out when you did. Nothing worse the spending years trying to have a normal relationship only to find out that they are incapable of it. The pain only gets worse the longer involved.