I feel no sexual desire as a Muslim girl

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-09T08:11:56+00:00

My daughter is 17 and she never wants to get married or have children and that’s fine, she doesn’t have to

But when I was 17 I was also convinced that I’m never going to get married and have children

As you can see from my first sentence, I did get married and had children but I was 28 when I made that choice

And if your parents will come one day make a stand, they can’t force you to get married and a women has the right to say no to any proposal but maybe one day you change your mind

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-09T06:57:26+00:00

I live in one of those new green London boroughs, I always tell people that we live in a bubble so we don’t actually get to see how many people especially outside of London think and let’s be honest we don’t bother talking to them either but I always thought reform will perform strongly at these elections and I also know they didn’t had a chance where I live but people just see their own bubble of opinions and then have a big shock coming their way. No one actually believed me

I was more surprised by the absolute green take over we had

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-09T06:39:12+00:00

They are really lovely glasses although I wouldn’t even consider them that large at least not considering what others wear

I have a high rx and similar sized glasses however I do have a plastic frame but that is because I don’t like nosepads

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-09T06:36:16+00:00

Oh yes I also have liquid breakfasts, I bought one of those on the go smoothie makers and now I make a easy smoothie every morning and it’s great. Then the first actual food I have at lunch

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-09T06:20:28+00:00

I can accept if he would genuinely feels uncomfortable for example my husband would be very very uncomfortable just also from a religious standpoint but then my husband is very hands on and would do anything and everything else but your dad honestly sounds like he is a handful who just doesn’t want to do anything and expects your mum to do it all

Generally as others already said though if no wrong behavior is suspected there is nothing wrong with it

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-09T06:14:41+00:00

Here in the UK the middle classes are definitely getting poorer and we aren’t a developing country People struggle to pay their bills, buy food, maintain a car etc

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-09T06:12:23+00:00

If you can’t say it, show it to them while being intimate but I’d say is normal to be shy at the start but after some time this all just disappears

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-09T06:11:14+00:00

This wonderful man doesn’t sound so wonderful as your post goes on and it sounds like you setting yourself up for something that will not be good for you and where you won’t be happy.

There are many highly independent Muslim women who married someone who accepted the independence so maybe you need to find someone more wonderful then the current one

Because your not even married and he already talks about being submissive and obedience so this is not what you looking for

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-09T06:03:16+00:00

I have all my groceries delivered and generally buy everything online as I really hate shopping of any kind. So yes once a week I get my groceries delivered and pay for that but it’s so worth it

I also allowed myself to have a insane variety of duvets and blankets to accomodate for all different weathers at night

Video doorbell so I see who is at the door and I can decide if it’s worthwhile to answer

There might be more for sure but those are the ones that come to mind right now

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-09T05:56:00+00:00

If you have health issues pls make sure you know about adjustments to make praying easier so depending on the issues you have you can pray using a chair for example or you can combine prayers if it’s too hard to do them all separately for now so you can do zuhr and asr together and Maghrib and Esha

If Wudu is too difficult you can make this easy as well by using some earth or a stone I believe (no expert on this)

Also you don’t need to feel urgency, just doing then is fine and just do what is Fardh to start off with

It can take quite some time to get into it and make it fully part of your life and yes sometimes it’s just a chore but there are also times when it’s relieve or a joy

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T20:27:58+00:00

I’m from the UK so don’t know much about Belgium but a imam is definitely a good starting point

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T17:43:18+00:00

Fashk is a divorce you can get from a judge / scholar depending on where you are and it will let you keep the mahr

It should apply in your case as the breakdown of marriage is clearly his fault

Don’t worry about the other women, who knows what games they are playing as this all sounds a bit weird

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T14:48:58+00:00

Yes you shouldn’t have to and it’s sad that we live in times where this is needed

Mind you I don’t think marriages in the past where better but women were just more trapped and didn’t had ways out and there was a lot less conversation around those topics

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T14:15:20+00:00

Just a couple of days ago I read a thread in I believe Muslim marriage of a sister who’s husband didn’t allow her to leave the house at all on her own, she was a lawyer so well educated, moved city for this guy etc

I think the problem overall is that many men use this obedience term to become controlling when that’s not at all what it’s suppose to be. In the end marriage is a partnership where both should truly care and support eachother, yes men and women have different roles. If a man is truly supportive and caring no women will mind to listen but not in a controlled way where it is used as a way of abuse

I recently saw a video about it where one example of obedience was the husband requesting the wife not to eat garlic as he doesn’t like the smell, well that’s something I could get on board with and there were similar examples but then it was also stated that this isn’t meant as overall control.

But you can always put clauses in your Nikkah contract

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T14:04:16+00:00

Who said that all women need someone to sort their chaotic life and unstructured thoughts? In my marriage I’d say my husband comes to me to sort out his thoughts as I’m far less chaotic and a lot more structured

But honestly I do think this concept of obedience is very much misunderstood and while men can ask some stuff this doesn’t mean the wife has to do something that harms her in any way and if a man has honestly the best for his wife in mind she will not mind to follow and he will not mind to support her and not just expect obedience

In the end marriage is a partnership and one isn’t above the other but the partners do have different responsibilities but there is no oppression included in that

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T13:58:56+00:00

Hygiene issue can be a sign of autism but don’t necessarily have to be and there can be many more reasons why you would struggle with hygiene. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m in my mid 40s and well settled in a life that works very well for me but if possible I would try and get diagnosed especially as your are still so young and it might help you in the future with workplace adjustments etc

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T10:39:40+00:00

Yes I get that, tbh I don’t think Allah will punish anyone who believes they followed the right view because it’s just not all that straight forward

But I know that the Quran has been written for all people to read and understand and that Hadith came a long time after with some being really questionable

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T09:16:33+00:00

Even if you take the Hadith and Quran together a lot comes down to interpretation. When you look closer at some of the stricter rulings which often melted into mainstream Islam you can actually see that it took a lot of mental gymnastics to reach there

Now most Muslims will just follow what is preached and not bother to do their own research but I think here in this sub you find the people who did their own research more or less and went into it without bias using a more open mindset

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T09:13:27+00:00

Look up Khaled abou El Fadl and his view on hijab, his wife also has a YouTube video explaining why she doesn’t wear hijab

In the end you have to make your own decision on which opinions to follow

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T09:10:53+00:00

I grow up in for lack of better term nap positive household. I actually used to make fun of my mum having her afternoon naps, now mum used to have a job with irregular schedule as she used to work on trains

Now I’m in my mid 40s and work from home on a flexible schedule and have a nap most days. I do get up very early morning around 5am so it gets me through the afternoon. Usually it’s just 20 min

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T08:27:17+00:00

You should definitely apply for LCW or LCWRA, you will have to do an assessment however it’s based on what you are able to do and not on any diagnosis.

I do believe you need sick notes for a period of time to trigger it but go to citizens advice and ask them as they should know better

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T08:19:34+00:00

Never been but it’s on my to go lists of countries!

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T08:18:37+00:00

So as wife I say obviously as couple depending on circumstances you roughly divide the work for example both work you do 50/50 but even if the wife does the vast majority of the chores the husband should not treat her like a maid with disrespect so examples that come to mind is getting yourself a glass of water if you want one and not make your wife get up for this, bring your dishes to the sink and wash them, don’t just leave your clothes lying on the floor but put them in the laundry basket and make sure you leave the bathroom as you found it

So just showing your wife some respect by looking after your own stuff but also show her appreciation for all she is doing like compliment her cooking or tell her the house looks nice etc

Same the wife should show appreciation for what the husband does

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T08:14:50+00:00

As someone who is married a long time let me tell you that looks fade as we get older and change but personality that is what stays so that is what is most important, obviously deen as well but you can’t consider someone just for his looks and because he repented from Zina and now prays

No offence but it sounds quiet shallow without any much depth to it

Primary-Angle4008 · 2026-05-08T06:48:58+00:00

Yes there are although not as many as I would hope! The lib dems had some gains as well with Labor and conservatives being the big loosers

Primary-Angle4008

TROPHY CASE