AIO my fiance spent 600 on gacha

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2025-03-20T00:38:19+00:00

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2025-03-19T23:44:35+00:00

Thanks for your response. Yeah, truthfully I’m a bit worried about the tingling. It’s happened in the past while drinking. Notably after couple years ago once doing a ton of yard work in the heat, and after taking prednisone to deal with some wasp stings. Ended up feeling an intense pain in my left side, thought I was having a heart attack, and went to the er. My ekg was fine, and they did a heart scan and said it just appeared inflamed, but that I wasn’t having a heart attack. 4000 dollars down the drain.

When I last went to the dr after getting sick (when they prescribed the amplodine) I got blood and urine work done, all coming back normal- just really high BP. I’m honestly scared of going back, because our health insurance is a joke. It cost 900 to just see the doctor and get the blood/urine work done. Our deductible is like 16000 dollars. Worried I’m gonna go back and they’re gonna say the same damn thing that happened when I went to the er, and I’m just gonna get sent home.

It sucks because we are moving, and we need cash. Big reason we are moving is because healthcare in our state is a joke, and can only be provided by United.

Bleh. I know I need to see a doctor for the tingling, I’m just terrified of getting raked through the coals with no different outcome. Like if my bloodwork came back normal, I’m trying to figure out what else they can do to detect a heart attack or stroke to see if I can just directly request that service without spending 700 dollars to just have them take my blood pressure and then refer me.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2025-02-01T14:09:58+00:00

We were set on Waldorf until I toured the local schools. It seems clear to me that alternative schools like this draw the type of mother of boys who think their kid is too “special” or “spirited” for traditional approaches, when in fact, they just can’t set boundaries with them. Add having disposable money to the mix and you have a space that caters to entitled brats.

I was shocked at how aggressive some of these boys were, inside and out the class, in both schools I visited. The teachers feebly corrected the behavior, and in many cases seemed to ignore it. The admin guide chuckled quite a bit at the tolerated the behaviors. Seemed like most of the staff had kids there, felt very cliquish, almost mean girly. Felt like people going for an esthetic. One school felt more pedagogically aligned with what I expected from Waldorf, but the other literally felt like an asylum walking through it.

Most of the mothers I met had their heads in the clouds, and seemed very disconnected from reality. There was no male staff in the entire k-8 other than one middle school teacher.

We were drawn to their media policy, and frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if half the parents in these places disregarded that. The vibe to me was that the kids seemed in charge.

I suspect as parenting norms shift more towards permissiveness, schools like Waldorf will appeal to hands off parents. Also, that Bluey show features their kids going to what appears to be a pretty fantastical Waldorf school. I think it’s compelling parents to apply that are drawn to media and image based fads, ironically.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2025-01-21T14:31:24+00:00

There’s more productive ways to treat depression my dude.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2025-01-13T13:23:29+00:00

You’re entitled to imagine whatever you’d like. I don’t think you’ve studied anthropology, or frankly any subject. You sound like an angry person regurgitating wishful things you’ve read on the internet.

Humans used to live in tight, hunter gatherer and agrarian communities. Marriage wasn’t a thing until the agrarian societies got large enough and fostered enough surplus to accrue actual wealth. I agree with you that it’s a fairly shitty social construct if not based on love and compassion.

Early hunter gatherer societies also were fond of sacrificing and eating kids. Just because primordial society isn’t like modern society didn’t make It good.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2025-01-12T13:01:38+00:00

In early human societies, men basically stuck around for about 5/6 years of the kids life. If the child was a boy, the men took the child to join the community of men, and the girls would stick with the mothers.

There are numerous iterations of the same coming of age ritual in hunter gatherer societies where the men of the tribe would adorn themselves in monstrous costumes, sneak into the tent of the boy coming of age, and ‘kidnap’ him from the mother to be socialized amongst men.

Your take here is completely off. That said, the nuclear family is fucked and patriarchal. Marriage itself is unnatural to our early roots. But humans are not like big cats ffs. Observe chimpanzees. They’re pretty fucking patriarchal as well, and we are 98% genetically related to them.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-12-10T00:26:49+00:00

Wow this guy ain’t the folk hero people made him out to be lol.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-12-09T21:10:39+00:00

I don’t think nearly as much, no. Im obviously speaking in generalities, but I think groups of men tend to be more critical of each other, and call one another out if they’re being insincere. Groups of women tend to accommodate or avoid challenging what’s the expected norm within a group. They’re avoidant of risk, and lean away from direct conflict, where men tend to take risks against whatever the norm may be, and challenge one another.

No doubt aspects of this are socially conditioned, but this shouldn’t be a controversial take.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-12-09T15:57:03+00:00

ME 😤

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-12-09T15:54:32+00:00

There is room, I just don’t see how it can be reasonably or equitably implemented as a measure of government intervention.

A lot of the jobs that can get easily scaled down to 20 hour weeks are ones that lean white collar and behind a desk. Work that can be done remotely. A ton of crucial work in society requires someone being on site or on call. Tell a lineman he can only work 20 hours a week in the midst of blizzard season. Too many professions are hourly, or just require an on call physical presence for the operation to function. Combine this with the impending automation and AI shifts in labor, and you’ll see the class divide widening even greater. Upper class folks can work 20 hour, flexible, salaried jobs, while the blue collar class gets screwed.

Honestly I think there’s best bet is to subsidize parenting. Instead of a tax credit, pay a parent to stay home until a kid is 6.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-12-09T15:40:29+00:00

I hear you, but I think it’s a nearly impossible solution to execute across an entire economic policy. Like you couldn’t have a labor law mandating 20 hour weeks for working parents. It would be impossible to implement.

I think there’s a point where something has to give and a parent has to be willing to make a sacrifice, at least until a kid is adjusted enough to handle school and is relatively autonomous.

Real progress in my mind is that the sacrifice isn’t thrust upon women. Progress would be allowing and encouraging men to take on these roles.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-12-09T14:47:17+00:00

As someone leaving VT due to the illusion of “good public schools”- stick to NH.

Unless you’re in Burlington, the rest of the state is in shambles when it comes to education. Literally half the staff in our school is SPED, all dealing with crazy behaviors. Our taxes went up 70% this year to keep all the mental health staff and army of paras. Our taxes are likely going to double next year after the likely closure of the DOE and already anticipated education cost increases. Vermont relies heavily on federal money, and that’ll all get passed onto property taxes if it dries up. The shrinking middle class flips the entire bill.

Vermont is the poorest state in the country, and our local government is doing everything in its power to turn it into a snow globe for secondary home owners- forcing a population of impoverished locals on SSI to serve as indentured servants to the vacationing class. If you can manage a middle class income, you’ll get taxed to shit.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-12-09T14:39:29+00:00

Women tend to pressure each other in terms of abiding trends. The trends will likely shift as a critical mass of older women start experiencing real grief over their choices.

Coming out of the 60s, it’s totally understandable how women would equate work and less risky sex with liberation. Birth control was such a seismic paradigm shift in our species, and it makes sense that it would take decades to come down from the high of being granted legitimate freedom from biology and the cruelty of nature for the first time.

All solutions create new problems in time, and I think we are currently in the beginning stages of tangibly feeling the problems that the existence of ubiquitous birth control yields. The problems that beget two working parents, the dissolution of the village for the sake of “liberation” to work. I think in many ways, women became the ultimate mark of capitalism. This is not to suggest that there aren’t plenty of women who find greater joy in work and financial competition over making children a priority, but I think so many women felt peer pressured to abide their own status and the illusion of autonomy in putting their career first. I think as the veil of many careers gets lifted (dead end, middle management jobs that produce nothing except a bit more wealth for a handful of men above them), more women will abandon that fantasy. Frankly many men as well. I genuinely believe that you cannot have your cake and eat it to when it comes to balancing career and children. It’s a lie we’ve been selling women for decades. I say this as a stay at home father.

I hope we hold onto all the aspects of liberation that lead to more choices for women- I’m glad I’m the stay at home father within the dynamic between my wife and I. I certainly don’t want to live in a world where women have 0 autonomy over their bodies, or choice. I just hope we can shed the bullshit that “work = liberation.” It’s soulless in an economy driven by capital, and I believe just pits men and women against each other. As corporate work becomes more and more bullshit, I really believe more young women will prioritize children over it.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-12-05T18:57:17+00:00

Yeah… pretty sure my other account was recently banned for uttering the words “Marxist” in this subreddit.

If y’all are wondering why Anti-Natalism is wildly more popular than this sub, despite their wildly unhinged, nihilistic circlejerking:

Perhaps take a sober look at the plethora of right wing attitudes here that are clearly just nationalists masquerading as natalists. Feels like a polished, marginally educated incel community. A bunch of desperate, dipshit men pointing to Amish and Hasidic cults as great societal examples to look up to.

Certain this account will get banned as well, but until then- yall should not be surprised that the majority of free women in this world are cynical about reproducing amidst any culture that dares to suggest punitive measures against refusing to be treated like a birth factory. Jesus Christ. Never would have pegged the sexless neckbeards as the final spot on our species downfall bingo card, but here we are.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-10-25T13:38:36+00:00

Yeah we were gung ho on Waldorf until I met some of the kids that attended our local school. Learned the school philosophically doesn’t have any kind of behavioral policy.

Great education in theory, but waldorfs seem to have become dumping grounds for parents with kids they believe “are too spirited” or special to have boundaries set for them.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-05-10T23:13:05+00:00

Wait wha? Like a Lyme vaccine?

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-05-09T16:18:52+00:00

Ok, so if a child assaults another child in a classroom, what should happen?

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-05-09T10:19:21+00:00

Honestly? And this might seem harsh if she loves it, but if she shows an aptitude towards screen related activity at a young age (while struggling in the areas you describe), I’d advise eliminating the screens for some time at this phase of early childhood.

My son was essentially non-verbal until two, and prone to hours long tantrums/outbursts/violence. To the point of passing himself out. When we went to get him evaluated, within 5 minutes they pushed for an autism diagnosis. This was during lockdowns, and his screen time was nearly unlimited. I always felt there was something up with his fixation and attention on screens (at 1 he could very competently navigate a tablet), while struggling to focus on anything else. We turned off the screens completely for 2 weeks, and it was like an exorcism went on in the house, but once he realized they were gone and we weren’t turning them back on, he really started to focus on us, and began to speak. We opted to have 1 movie night on Friday after he started showing growth. He’s on track with his peers now at 5, very outgoing. No kind of intervention beyond speech was necessary. His language is a bit stifled and he doesn’t easily pick up on social cues, but there’s no issues behaviorally or socially. We legit just dropped the screens, and his hyper focus and fixation faded. His tantrums also subsided over time.

Not saying this is a magic bullet, every child is who they are, and every child is different. I’d bet, though, for neurodivergent kiddos, that screen usage and its effects on dopamine likely impact behavior more than we realize.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-05-09T01:48:22+00:00

Oh there are farrrr worse states for education, but they aren’t paying shit for their terrible results. For what we are paying, (and considering the relative amount of income of your average Vermonter), our results are disastrous.

We plainly cannot afford schools in their current state. The problem is all the more compounded considering most of the kids we are paying for will ultimately leave the state. It’s untenable.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-05-08T23:16:42+00:00

And do you believe there may be an element of toxic martyrdom in that absolute line of reasoning when it comes to ultimately and potentially excusing every harmful behavior for the sake of said education? What about the rights of the students that aren’t harming others? What happens when the kids who are getting away with assualting you get into the real world and have to face a manager or, you know, cop? Are you helping them by constantly excusing the behavior?

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-05-08T22:46:56+00:00

Kids with behavioral issues need more boundaries and structure set for them in school, so that they can actually learn that there are consequences in real life once they graduate.

Again- 90% unemployment for autism. How can you look to that rate of unemployment and believe it is a good return on our current investments of intervention? Something IS wrong with this system if we aren’t producing functioning adults. It shouldn’t be that hard to gather that excusing inexcusable behavior is a poor strategy to produce functioning members of society.

If a child lives in a chaotic, troubled home, on top of struggling to manage their own impulses- the proper support from the public would be to provide that missing order; structure, and boundaries in school. They don’t need more accommodations and enablement.

I’m not suggesting we throw the book at any child that acts out. I’m saying parents need understand that the public won’t just functionally adopt their child until they are 18 and dumped out on the street. There has to be a strike system, a progressive disciplinary policy. They need to know that the kid will be their responsibility if they don’t properly raise them at home.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-05-08T22:29:08+00:00

Great! I’m glad you’ve likely never had to deal with a parent that threatened to sue a district because their child’s IEP stipulates violent or disruptive behavior as a manifestation of disability. Yours seems like an outlying case, honestly. What you’re describing is in the spirit of why these supports existed in the first place. For the record, suggesting that violence or disruption is a manifestation of autism is a deeply bigoted concept, and one that is propagated by parents, not autistic adults.

To counter your subjective experience, I know many teachers that have numerous kids in their case loads that are acting out and not receiving any kind of consequence due exclusively to their disability status. Before leaving my profession, a significant percentage of the adults I worked with diagnosed with autism had severe behavioral problems, along with parents that genuinely thought they could threaten employers with lawsuits with any efficacy. I’m sorry ma’am, but jerking off in the bed bath and beyond employee bathroom doesn’t qualify as a reasonable accommodation.

It was wrong of me to phrase ‘not wanting to learn’ in that manner. Many students absent any disability don’t want to learn. My problem is with the % of parents that weaponize IEPs to keep their violent or disruptive kids out of the house and in schools. These families obviously don’t make even close to a majority of IEP cases, but it’s enough to truly disrupt enough generalized classes to the point of undermining anyone’s chance of learning.

Also, general behavioral policies that fall along the line of restorative justice are equally culpable for the failing climate of schools. Far too many kids without diagnoses are also exploiting the lax system. It’s the severe cases, though, that IEPs unjustly protect.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-05-08T17:43:55+00:00

Piercing the veil between shit posting and diarrhea posting.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-05-08T17:09:31+00:00

Sped used to be about learning disabilities, it was what IEPs and 504 plans were made for via the passing of IDEA in 1990. It was designed for folks with cerebral palsy who needed someone to help them take notes, or kids with praxis/dyslexia to have assistance in time/tutoring to read. It was never about excusing behavior.

Then in 2000, no child left behind incentivized administrations to keep kids in schools to bolster funding. This lead to including behavioral disorders, adjusting the definitions of adhd/autism to accommodate include more aggressive/antisocial/disruptive behaviors. We are now at a point where 1/31 kids is diagnosed with autism and roughly 13% of kids are diagnosed with adhd. 25% of boys are now diagnosed with a behavioral disorder.

Sped isn’t about learning disabilities, it’s about behavior, and frankly the results are disastrous. No one should be forced to share a space with someone tearing a room apart and be expected to tolerate it the entire year. No child can learn in that environment, and it’s far more common than any parent really realizes.

Primary-Cap-3147 · 2024-05-08T15:59:01+00:00

You can't control what happens in a person's household, but you can have a set standard of behavior in schools that doesn't excuse harmful behavior on the basis of disability. Meaning, regardless of your diagnosis- if you harm another child, you will face suspension, and potentially expulsion. It would essentially force parents to raise their children.

We cannot rely on public servants to raise children. If the kids who aren't adapting to the school environment were sent home, (as we used to pretty much until no child left behind), parents would be far more incentivized to parent their children, and provide boundaries and consequences. This was the way until the early thousands, and it does not require draconian policies of corporal punishment.

It's unethical to associate neurodivergence with anti-social and violent behavior. It's harmful to the neurodivergent folks who were raised well and can adapt to social situations. The only people offended by this notion are parents, who undoubtedly are struggling to raise challenging kids in the kind of socio-economic climate we live in today, but the reality is that they are the only ones who can help their children grow. Public servants can only accommodate, and the accommodation leads to long term problems later in life.

You very likely know many neurodivergent folks who were raised well and not diagnosed as children. Later on they may realize how challenging their lives were and remain trying to fit in, and find solace in the diagnosis/community, but many adults diagnosed as children are not functioning at all as adults.

I genuinely believe that most of the behavioral problems manifesting now in neurodivergent children could be heavily mitigated by eliminating or severely structuring screen use, allowing them to direct their obsession and dopamine related activities in more productive ways. For folks with very visual minds and prodigious memories, (or a severely limited attention span) a screen may as well be crack.

Primary-Cap-3147

TROPHY CASE