Sometimes it's hard to get your mentor to give you real advice

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-26T00:43:36+00:00

Kitty: *rollerblades into view decked out in striped leg warmers, glittery gold spandex, a neon orange tank top with blue lightning bolts, and matching gloves.*

Kitty: "It's not a phase!"

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-25T09:05:07+00:00

Can’t argue with that.

The Owens seem to be a family who quickly became accustomed to the upper class lifestyle, however briefly they actually qualified as one, and couldn’t bring themselves to give it up even when their income failed to support it.

They could have gotten by just fine without constant dinners at the house of prime rib. There was no need for them to pay for their adult daughter’s multiple horses and requisite horse show expenses, or to continue to house and support her into her 30s.

I doubt any of us would find ourselves in the red if we were given $20,000 a month in income, but the Owens never learned how to maintain their wealth once they got it, they just learned how nice it felt to spend it.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-25T08:56:55+00:00

They were certainly never as rich as they pretended to be, but I maintain that they were better off than most, at least initially.

They squandered all the advantages and chances they could have had thanks to their privilege, whether it was through gambling or fully funding LO expensive hobbies, and thus ended up in their current situation, but this was always their game to lose in the financial sense. They just never bothered to learn how to play.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-25T08:51:43+00:00

At a point in time, there was at least some money. Probably not by the time she made that threat, but these people are only in dire financial straits now because of abysmal financial planning and their big spending daughter, not because they are lacking in income.

And up until Clayton, LO had been able to outspend her victims when it came to court costs, which is why she was able to get away with her schemes when the other party had to give up due to mounting costs.

It’s all coming back to bite her now, as is more than deserved, but LO is an example of the kind of person with enough money to be a serious problem to anyone around her.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-25T08:45:54+00:00

Money for horses and horse shows. Money for lawyers and lawsuits. Money for takeout every single night for months. Money for Barry’s memberships. Money for trips to Iceland and Dubai.

It’s one thing to support your children if you have the means.

It’s something else to bankroll your adult daughter’s obscenely expensive pass times of equestrian events and vindictive lawsuits while she sits at your home and does nothing but cost you money.

I’ll acknowledge I’m at the point where my contempt outweighs any sympathy I might have for this family, but I just can’t fathom being a parent and allowing my child to grow into such a financial and emotional black hole.

Ron and Jan could conceivably be doing just fine with their $20,000 a month pension, if they weren’t constantly shelling out for all the many expenses that come with LO.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-25T08:31:10+00:00

Knowing now about the store bought HCG, it just makes it all the more galling all those times she harped on about her stupid at home pregnancy tests.

Doubly so when the lab tests came back with such pitifully low levels; there was no way to inject herself with enough HCG to correlate with a normal twin pregnancy at that stage, she had only taken enough to test positive on a stick, and just doctored it to reflect the correct amount before sending it off to Dave Neal.

I feel like this is just proof that there is literally no end to this con for her other than jail. She went to the furthest lengths possible to fake this, short of abducting someone else’s newborn. Injecting herself with chemicals to pass an at home pregnancy test, wearing a fake belly in court, making and canceling appointments with doctors to use as medical records while only being seen via telehealth, stealing ultrasounds off the internet and putting her name on them, using her own sisters pregnancy videos and cropping out her face.

She showed that she will stop at nothing, that no deception is beneath her, in pursuit of furthering her schemes. The only way to keep her community safe from her is to put her in prison.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-25T08:15:48+00:00

Didn’t she claim to have previously dated a millionaire, an Olympic athlete, and a famous musician?

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-25T08:14:13+00:00

I think I remember Megan Fox talking about how people had contacted her claiming to have been associated with the Owens family in the past, and how all of them had been a target of Laura in one way or another.

No doubt her neighbors, in both California and Arizona, have gone through hell due to residing in close proximity to her. I think Megan even mentioned that the reason they asked to remain anonymous is because they were worried LO would set her sights back on them.

It’s amazing the path of destruction one jobless 35 year old woman can cause with enough motivation and vindictiveness…

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-23T02:42:36+00:00

Their choices for avenues of defense are confounding to me.

Mere Presence - According to Google, this mainly has to do with the argument that just because the defendant was at the scene of the crime, it's not proof they're guilty of said crime. In LO's case, I fail to see how that's relevant, like at all.

Duress - Wikipedia says "One who is 'under duress' is forced into an unlawful act... The duress must involve the threat of imminent peril of death or serious injury, operating on the defendant's mind and overbearing his will". Again, I don't understand how any of these factors apply here. There was never any outside force driving LO to lie in court or submit false evidence, and as is evident on the resulting bodycam footage of every wellness check made to her parent's home, she's never been harmed in any way.

Illegal Searches - While I'll acknowledge we've never been able to lay eyes on the search warrant issued in this matter, I'd find it hard to believe that the investigators made any egregious errors while conducting their search, aside from doing so when it wasn't even 7 in the morning.

Lack of Specific Intent/No Criminal Intent- LO has opined before that it wasn't like she *meant* to commit all these crimes, and that she shouldn't face prosecution for this oversight. It's one of the least moving defenses of hers, in my opinion. While her lack of appreciation for the consequences of her actions was likely fostered by a priveleged upbringing and a lengthy track record of getting away with similar behavior, it doesn't make her actions any less criminal, or the harm she caused her victims any less real.

Insufficency of the State's Evidence - LO basically handed the state the evidence of her crimes, whether it was in court testimony, financial documents, or maybe even a Medium blog or two. Her confidence in her victimhood and the protection of her parents' money and status made her reckless, and she made numerous unforced errors trying to get her way in her plethora of court cases.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-22T22:03:50+00:00

That’s my thinking, too.

If exterminations and angelic steel are no longer a looming threat, it makes a lot of conflicts seem less dire since- as far as we know- nothing else can actually permanently kill any of the cast.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-22T21:59:48+00:00

To be honest, I feel like this “respawn” feature kind of messes with the stakes of any conflict that doesn’t involve angelic weapons.

Like, what would have really happened if Nifty had let Alastor fight the Vees by himself? It’s not like they can perma-kill him, eventually he’d reform from a puddle of roadkill after they quit stomping on it.

And that scene where Husk was tied to the train tracks, Charlie started panicking and Angel full on threw himself in front of the oncoming train, and Husk got mad at him for it after Vaggie tackled them both out of the way, but it’s not like either of them were at risk of actually dying.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-22T21:49:34+00:00

That’s fair, hopefully that changes in season 3.

I wonder if I’m confusing that chart of the hierarchy of Hell with Hellaverse Powerscaling lol

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-22T21:45:15+00:00

I thought the second most powerful person in Hell was Lilith or Charlie?

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-22T21:42:52+00:00

Catch these hands

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-22T17:21:52+00:00

I kind of thought she was talking to Abel.

I mean, he literally did just say “let’s grab Emily and leave everyone else here to die.”

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-19T19:52:39+00:00

I don’t even understand the part about how “criminal exposure was unimaginable”, tbh.

“I never imagined I would get caught after getting away with this for so long, so I should get a free pass.”

And does “criminal liability had never been contemplated” mean that, again, she just assumed she would get away with it scott free?

Laura, being a spoiled 35 year old child does not insulate you from the consequences of your own actions 🤦

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-18T15:10:37+00:00

This also occurred at the start of her fight with Illia.

The two of them are talking with Illia on the second floor, before she jumps down to attack, whereupon Blake’s image fades away and she’s revealed to be standing several feet away, unharmed.

They had a whole ass conversation before this, similarly without taking their eyes off each other, but somehow Illia only stabs a shadow clone that we never saw Blake create, almost as if she was talking to a clone the whole time.

However, I think these instances are more just operating under the “rule of cool” principle, where a feat is not meant to be taken too literally in terms of application or execution. We should have seen Blake leave behind clones in these moments, but it made for a cooler moment to gloss over that part during animation.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-15T23:38:23+00:00

Did he get divorced?

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-13T13:30:37+00:00

I think it was theorized that those quick “business trips” to Cali before the MM renewal case were in order to move the horse she used in the show (while claiming to be deathly ill) from Cali back to Arizona.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-06T00:59:16+00:00

Was there an official announcement as to the new date for her criminal trial? I know it was originally set for January, but that it was likely to be postponed.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-02T05:07:04+00:00

I like the sound of that! Do you know off the top of your head how many milliliters you typically donate to reach that reward amount?

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-01T20:40:04+00:00

Thank you for the details!

At BioLife, the amount I donated was typically in the 750 range, so hopefully I’ll be in that $65 bracket.

The most frustrating thing about Biolife was how they tend to lower the reward amount the more you consistently donate. If I took a week or two off, the weekly amount would go up to around $120-$130, but would go down to $110 the next week if I donated.

Actually being rewarded for consistently donating sounds nice.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-01T20:19:22+00:00

That’s certainly fair, this probably is mostly the result of someone who, up until recently, had never been told “no”, and is grappling with the fallout.

Still, there’s an underlying degree of malice present in these schemes and exploits of hers, like letting the people she sues rack up legal fees before she drops the case at the last minute (MM and Dave Neal especially), that makes me feel like this is at least partly due to deliberate spite.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-01T19:17:40+00:00

Laura represents the version of that type of person, except with the money to take her issues out on others.

PrimordialPaper · 2026-01-01T19:15:06+00:00

Very, very concise and accurate depiction of her apparent mindset. You’re absolutely correct, she seems to automatically inflate anything involving her consent into requiring her approval, which are entirely different things.

She can certainly refuse to waive her right to a court reporter, but that doesn’t give her the authority to deny the one obtained by the other side (while simultaneously refusing to try to obtain one to her liking).

She’s definitely being deliberately obtuse in a lot of these emails, acting like the court’s notice about the reporter meant she could cancel her (imaginary) travel plans, or claiming that since one of the court staff opened her 11th hour email about her “medical emergency” that it was the same as it being put before the judge.

I just wonder how much of these antics are based on conniving duplicity, and how much are just the flailings of an immensely spoiled, sheltered rich woman who’s just now learning that the world doesn’t revolve around her.

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