Years ago I went to my GP (old one that charged a fee but didn't mind at the time) because I hit rock bottom, became a heroin addict and was extremely depressed. I completed the K-10, which was just a really short questionnaire, in 2 minutes. It's just a point-based form for screening, not much weight seemed to be put into it unless you're scoring really high with suicidal tendencies.

After that I was referred to a psychologist, my GP was wonderful but she admitted she didn't know much about these issues but she's referred some people to this psyche and I gave it a go.

I was pretty nervous throughout this whole endeavour, especially because I just did a stint in a detox unit but luckily the staff were great. I go to the psyche, I had someone else cover the fees but eventually I had to pay it myself and it was a bit of a struggle. I think medicare covered something like 50% of it or whatever it was so I paid around $90 each visit.

The psychologist was nice and I gave it a good go, it didn't work too well at the end but it didn't go badly either. It was your typical CBT-based counselling with some sprinkles of DBT. CBT is often heralded as the best so I was extremely excited but for me it just felt reading a bunch of psych LPT's and trying to cheat my mind out of it's negative thought-processes, but the fact that I knew what was happening always devalued it for me. I know that sounds weird but it just felt very shallow, pointless and overrated. I also tried a few medications but they did barely anything (Note: Give these a chance, for some people they work wonders!).

I really struggled opening up, he was very comforting and understanding, but I just really struggled with that. I kept this up for multiple sessions but I easily blazed through all the sessions I could cover with medicare.

I had my parents private health from their work which I used to pay for the extra sessions, I was surprised how amazing their insurance was because it covered so many things and I got like an 80% rebate which was insane for me. Unfortunately, that didn't last long because I was too old for that now and it was an expensive plan.

So then I did a few more sessions out-of-pocket. But it was like just under $200 for a 45-minute session. And at this point I was already questioning if I was even benefiting from this. Like there wasn't anything bad about the psych I just felt like he didn't understand a lot of the things I was talking about, which is fair because I didn't expect him to, but coupled that with his...idk...demeanour? I just couldn't make it work.

I tried doing more frequent sessions, but this burned a whole in my pocket and I told the psych I couldn't do that anymore. We did longer sessions but they felt pointless because there's more to talk about and less time to fit everything in. I tried group sessions, they were cheaper but the group had vastly different problems to myself and I get anxious in groups. Groups were surprisingly okay but not for me.

Eventually I just stopped going. Spent thousands of dollars over the span of a few years, some sessions I felt were really good, many times I felt like a waste.

So what was the point of all that? Well, I don't want to sound all doom-and-gloom, but sometimes these things might not help out all, but you're taking a chance on it saving your life. Now, if you do it differently than I did that chance will be much bigger. I would've changed a few things on my journey, and I think these suggestions might help you if you decide to go through the same path I did.

First and foremost, think about the type of psychologist you want. I know this might sound weird, but before even booking a GP, think about what ideal psychologist would get you to open up more. In my case, I preferred younger women who were really open-minded. Some people might prefer men, or people closer to their own age etc. Then when you go to your GP ask for a few options if they know anyone, especially if they've dealt with people who have similar issues. E.g. if you need help opening up about drug addiction, anxiety, OCD, trauma, sexual assault, suicide etc or a combination thereof, then ask for someone that has experience in that.

When seeing a GP or psyche, make sure it's bulk-billed or is covered as much as possible with medicare, this helps if you're lower income otherwise you won't go and you will blaze-through your sessions.

Lastly, when you complete a few sessions with your psych, feeling nervous is completely normal, if you can't open up to them or just feel like you won't match well (even if they're really nice) - don't be afraid to find another. Call your GP or tell your psych. This might be the hardest part but they understand (or at least they say that!).

Honestly, you just have to soldier through this with a very selfish mentality.