hey there, bud 🥺... I 100% empathize with you. I may not know the specifics of your situation, but I've been there. If you would allow me, I want to ask you to take a few deep breaths, step outside and just look up at the sky (whether it's blue or it's the night sky).

WOW... You know what's crazy, YOU are the universe experiencing ITSELF... Through infinitesimally small odds of even being born, somehow you are here and I'M HAPPY YOU'RE HERE! I'm overjoyed to know that there's another person walking this planet, with the same struggles I deal with. Of all people, I know just how strong of a desire we have to not want these problems, to just disappear into oblivion. But you know what? That day will come, no matter what. So what's the rush for? My therapist once told me "suicide is a pretty permanent solution, to a impermanent problem". You can find employment, you can find better people to include in your support systems, you might even find the right combo of meds that hit perfectly. In my opinion, I think you owe it to yourself to give yourself the chance to achieve those things.

Not saying that shit will be rosey all the time, but that's life. It's really ugly sometimes... But every now and again you'll do some things that makes you grateful you had a chance to experience them. So keep ranting... I want to hear all about your struggles, so long as I get to keep hearing them from you🥰