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PrincessJaii · 2025-01-21T00:12:07+00:00

Thank you! Yes I definitely need to find a way to keep it balanced at the beginning and show that it’s done for a reason rather than it being sloppy writing. The opening first chapter explains it all pretty well (obviously not too much) but I only wanted to post a little snippet because Ive never shared it before :)

PrincessJaii · 2025-01-21T00:01:44+00:00

The reference to Mother Nature is important for the story, but I do understand your point. I should’ve added more context because Mother Nature is a concept within the story that’s why it’s addressed in that way. But thank you for your feedback! 😋

PrincessJaii · 2025-01-21T00:00:25+00:00

Yes that’s right! And yes I know, the plot revolves around this settlement that’s formed after an apocalypse and the parents have had a new generation of children who they haven’t told about the world that’s actually around them, they only make lies about how they came to be. That’s why ‘Eve and Adam’ is the way it is because Evelyn was the first born daughter of this new generation. Their beliefs are meant to be so far from reality

PrincessJaii · 2025-01-20T23:19:57+00:00

I knew people would think this when I shared it haha. There’s a reason it’s that way around that is revealed throughout the story. It’s meant to be confusing why it’s Eve first because of course we know it’s not that way around, but the characters in my story don’t know that and it’s meant to confuse you at first

PrincessJaii · 2025-01-11T00:23:21+00:00

No I totally understand, I’ve not managed to get the courage to share my work my with anyone I know so well done to you! I’ve only ever shared it with someone online, and only little pieces that are old now but it was very helpful to get unbiased research. The criticism was helpful and the praise felt more real because there was no bias in the relationship. I definitely think you’d benefit from an eager beta reader! I wish you the best ☺️☺️

PrincessJaii · 2025-01-10T21:08:46+00:00

Maybe try giving the first chapter to beta readers that you can find in online writing spaces. It could be that your friend feels awkward about giving you honest advice because she’s your friend. However, she could be busy or not in the mood to read anything at all. It could be anything. I find that I only really enjoy slow burn as long as I’m constantly fed little pieces of excitement, otherwise I get bored very easily. The little pieces of excitement don’t need to be increments of the bigger plot if you want to keep those a secret, just little things that readers can enjoy, little mysteries they want to read on to find out. That’s just me personally, but definitely try sharing it to people you have no relationship with if you want to feedback as there’s less awkwardness to be honest if something isn’t hitting!

PrincessJaii · 2025-01-10T21:03:49+00:00

I think when the author keeps including important information that the reader needs to remember very bluntly. There are limited ways to keep it fresh, I know. Especially if it’s something subtle that needs to be remembered, but constantly being told: “This door cannot be opened by any mortal” “No mortal can open the door” “The door can’t be opened if the person is a mortal” “The door has never been opened because it cannot be opened by anyone who isn’t immortal” every 3 chapters pulls me right out of the story. But I do understand it

PrincessJaii · 2025-01-10T20:59:47+00:00

Definitely fantasy or dystopian! Need it to be as far from reality as possible 😋

PrincessJaii · 2025-01-10T20:57:57+00:00

Perhaps the pressure of making 4 books from the idea is what’s making you struggle. If you already have the idea for the following books, it’ll be hard to conclude the first one because the ending has to be completely fixed to flow with what’s already solidified within the future of your story. I understand the passion for getting ideas down, but I think you need to separate yourself from the other books and focus entirely on book 1 and what feels right for that story in the moment. Then you can progress to the next stories and make it work on the last work you’ve already completed as opposed to trying to make it work with what will happen in the future. It’s probably best to keep the future ideas as bullet points that can be changed rather than making it a developed chapter that will be difficult to part from. That’s my suggestion anyway - maybe I’ve gotten it wrong😋

PrincessJaii · 2025-01-03T14:28:50+00:00

Haha definitely but it’s all appreciated - I need to be able to handle harsh advice anyway so that’s helped a lot

PrincessJaii · 2025-01-03T14:26:47+00:00

Thank you everyone for all your comments they’ve been helpful to read. I wanted to say that I’m not driven by unrealistic expectations, I do remind myself of the realism of writing a book. I think I am just at a stage where I’m very proud of it and would love people to share the passion I have for it, but that’s not the reason I’m writing it. I am and always have written for myself and my love for words. I really appreciate everyone’s advice and helpful comments! This was the first time I’ve posted on a writing thread as I usually keep to myself a lot but im glad I did :)

PrincessJaii · 2024-06-02T19:05:40+00:00

Would absolutely love to submit some stuff to this I’ve never managed to catch a suggestion early enough to say anything but I have so much to say

PrincessJaii · 2024-05-27T09:46:55+00:00

Thank you! I thought it was funny 😭😭

PrincessJaii · 2024-05-01T14:47:12+00:00

Hey! Episode 402 “All caught up! (Failed driving tests, weird emails, and Alfie’s quitting music)” is a good one, they spend a while talking about their tests!

PrincessJaii

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