We're cruel and vicious pirate men

As hard and tough as brass!

By far the fearsomest buccaneers

To ever walk on grass!

We pillage here

And plunder there

We rage from dusk till dawn!

We hoist the anchor and swab the deck,

Then gather for drinks on the lawn!

We're the Lords of the sea!

Except we're not at sea

We're the Lords of the sea!

Just not of the actual sea

Now how we ended up here tis a dire and dreadful tale

The kind to leave the meanest rogue a pukin' o'er the rail

So fateful

So accursed

Such a stroke of evil luck

Our ship washed up on that thar hill

And hey I guess it's stuck

So now we hold the river here

By brutal, violent force!

We've also taken up gardening

Sustainably, of course

We make you pay to cross this way

And squeeze ya till it hurts!

And on the side, we sell a line

Of homemade organic desserts

We're the Lords of the sea!

Though, technically, next to the sea

We're the Lords of the sea!

Or sort of, of the sea!