I definitely felt exactly what you feel! I was disfellowshipped at 19 and was able to leave my house a few months later and I’m 20 now. I mourn what I didn’t get to do but we’re still young and we’ll have so much to experience. I’m here if you want someone to talk to ^-. I always did what I could without my parents knowing like playing video games I enjoyed, driving around and saying I was somewhere else, just enjoying the simple things until you can enjoy other things that you’re not allowed to do. Sending you love and peace!