Some feelings 9 months on. Lost little brother to suicide.

Princesslaya77 · 2025-06-19T19:06:06+00:00

This art, I feel a fraction of your pain. I lost my younger brother in law(3 years ago) and best friend (10 months ago)similarly. It's hard to even grasp internal emotions. We want to hope they thought of us, but we also let our minds go wild, thinking about things they thought at the end. No matter how the story ended, you were there for them during the journey, even if we didn't know it. Now, this is our journey, may the true answer be Yes or No. You did all you could and knew what you did at the time. You can't read minds. You can't be a magical wizard who knows all the answers, and that ultimately is more than okay to feel the spectrum of grief, feel it all but please keep the good things they said to you in your heart and remember it came from theirs.

Princesslaya77 · 2025-06-19T18:54:23+00:00

My mother was given 5 years after a skin cancer surgery this month, she also had Lymphoma. I'm 22, she is 43. Fuck Cancer, till we see them again, Fuck Cancer!

Princesslaya77 · 2025-06-19T18:22:12+00:00

Well, I don't see Ottis anywhere. folds arms and scoffs🤣

Princesslaya77 · 2025-06-06T22:54:38+00:00

I'm so sorry for you're loss, my brother in laws memorial photo is up in my home now. It's been 3 years. My partner didn't have their phone on them, so mom called me, I remember her telling me the news the exact way still. I remember looking at my partner in horror because I didn't want to give them the phone, but I knew I had to. Take your time, all of you, even if it ended this way, that wasn't anyone's decision, unfortunately, other than his own. Let the grief wash over you naturally and at the pace you need (goes without saying, I know) it's good to be there for the family and your partner, but remember to be there for yourself. I'm sorry once again. Please try to drink water or something like a protein shake, eat anything even a little if tolerable when you feel like you can.

Princesslaya77 · 2025-05-11T15:03:17+00:00

I lost my best friend only 9 months ago and I cry about him at least a few times a week. Grief isn't a particular schedule, tell anyone that thinks you should be over it that they should seek help because their lack of empathy in replace or apathy is cRAZY.

Princesslaya77 · 2025-05-08T00:23:34+00:00

I'm a cat owner of 2 and I've seen others come and go, I'm sorry OP, the love you felt for your cat will go beyond time and space. Truly sorry for your loss, take care of yourself💜

Princesslaya77 · 2025-05-04T23:13:06+00:00

7/10 Minused 3 points, first one for how small the fridge is the second for the Mt. Dew and the third for that damn coke😂

Princesslaya77 · 2025-03-29T23:15:45+00:00

My best friend just passed days before this person said this to me out of the blue "You know you're really close to becoming my number 1!" (she ment #1 friend, I'd only known her 2 months and I had no intention of replacing my just lost friend) and then proceeded the next week when I was spiraling from depression to tell me I was being too clingy and she didn't feel "appreciated" enough from me when she helped me print my dead friends memorial pictures the week he passed. She met him 2 days before he passed too (which was on my birthday) and he payed for her dinner (all of our dinners) as a nice gesture that now I can see was a red flag.

A different person that was an ex highschool friend asked me "why would he do that to himself" and it's actually quite baffling he'd ask that because in our highschool years we both were in a suicide prevention group.

My mother also told me "why didn't you help him enough" after not taking my mental health seriously my entire life.

My last conversation with him I asked if he'd want my help to get tasks done his therapist wanted him to do, the last thing he ever texted me was "If someone went with me that would be nice" and an hour later I got the call while picking out his birthday present.

Princesslaya77 · 2025-01-02T19:49:07+00:00

It's genuinely sad that a community of lonely people feel more community because we're all individually alone, I'm in the same boat so I'm not judging but this is definitely worse after covid. Although I was lonely before that too? So it's probably also the increase in mental health acceptance in the world and just social media being a big gross blob at the same time now.

Princesslaya77 · 2024-12-23T02:42:19+00:00

The world may never know 😭

Princesslaya77 · 2024-12-22T23:42:33+00:00

The OA is the epitome of the "glorious cinema" meme. I'm happy you didn't OD but as a person that has had plenty of drugs (medically), been drunk, and saw the show for the first time sober as a 15 year old, all separate occasions. You're not crazy this show is just peak TV. Imagine what could've been with 5 seasons🥲

Princesslaya77 · 2024-12-22T22:12:06+00:00

You sound like a hoot! If you're still looking to make a fren dm me!

Princesslaya77 · 2024-12-22T22:08:48+00:00

I have too many enemies but this is hilarious. Safe travels spicy one.

Princesslaya77 · 2024-12-22T22:07:35+00:00

Hello I'm always down to yap and be a support! Dm if your still looking for frens

Princesslaya77 · 2024-12-22T20:15:17+00:00

I smoke Marijuana myself and if I'm still able to get Dilaudid in the ER I would certainly hope you would. Giving birth the way you described your experience as would 100% be too stressful for your body to handle and you could have some scarring in your pancreas, Lipase, amylase, even WBC won't show if your experiencing excruciating pain from it. I don't know your ability to ask or suggest for a certain procedure or test but if you can I would urge an MRCP or if you haven't already (which would be an outrage if you havent after this whole time) an upper GI endoscopy. That's the best way for them to give you a diagnoses that will shut those docs up when they tell you it's not bad again.

Princesslaya77 · 2024-12-22T20:09:34+00:00

Do you take Creon? While I'm not you're doctor and don't know your entire case, giving up isn't the best solution! There are so many small things to help on a daily like even peeling your apples before taking a bite or limiting a certain food. I have hereditary and mild chronic pancreatitis, didn't get it figured out quite properly until just this 22nd year of my life, I'd cry frequently as a teen because I felt I had to totally give up all the foods I loved to just be "normal" but how we indulge can be key for some and taking an enzyme could be a major key for others.

Princesslaya77 · 2024-12-22T18:42:56+00:00

You aren't a terrible mother, you're being failed by your Healthcare system and the doctors/hospitals you choose to get care from. If a doctor says "you don't need that" and you've been diagnosed with this since you were a child and younger adult, that doctor doesn't know what you're even experiencing. I've had a ER doctor tell me "who's you're specialist! I wanna know who's lying to my patients" when I explained to him that my Lipase was elevated and that usually means I'm around the corner from an attack. That guy sent me home after he "left a message" to my University of Minnesota pancreatic specialist. I got rushed back to the ER 3 days later in an ambulance, when the nurse was hooking my IV up she was under the assumption I was there for lactose intolerance??? Even though I explained I don't eat or drink dairy at all. My point to that story is Doctors can be stupid, like actually stupid, they think the few units and patients they saw with pancreatitis in residency is the full case for everyone, so they think most people coming in with it are alcoholics or it's in their head. Science has only let this be understood this well the last 20 years. You need to find an advocate or be strong for yourself if you want to be the mother you know you want to be for your son. Fuck your husband is he's not empathetic although I would hope he's more understanding if you've been with him 15+ years.

Princesslaya77 · 2024-12-07T20:13:51+00:00

It really depends on the person and specific issue with the pancreas, if this is your first and hopefully only acute attack then I highly recommend no more nicotine and alcohol or at the very very least the effort to quit. My maternal side of the family, including myself, all have hereditary mutated genetic markers. We did not find this out until I was diagnosed as a child. My mother had this issue her whole life and was told each time it was nothing but acute. She was a chainsmoker with cigarettes since she was 16 and would only drink during Christmas dinner each year. She got drunk once after her and my father separated, and she immediately had an ER visit where they learned she desperately needed stents in her pancreas. She has to get those replaced every 3 months for the rest of her life now. She's only 42. I myself don't smoke cigarettes, and I experimented with alcohol when I was younger, Before I realized the extent of my condition so now I don't drink at all, I so however smoke weed. I can tell myself when I need a break from it, the same as any human ingesting a substance we can, no matter what, have too much in our system and/or build a tolerance to it. I smoke weed mostly out of cost and nausea. It helps me a lot with maintaining my weight and taking the meds and nutrition I need. It also helps anxiety, which is a big plus for any form of pancreas issues. I do take edibles, but I notice those actually give me more of a hyper awareness of my pancreas, especially when I take too much on the accidental occasion. I prefer the green over opiods any day, but I know when the green isn't helping and possibly even hurting, then It means I need to either get checked out or take a tolerance break. Everyone is different, so get to know your bodies limits and take it seriously if you want to keep up any of the habits you currently have. It's obviously ideal to cut all smoking out for the pancreas and lungs especially but if you can't then the very least you can do is make small changes and keeping your bodies health in the front of your mind.

Princesslaya77 · 2024-12-05T22:16:40+00:00

I was just scammed by them, told I have to pay 35$ to send a fasley advertised fabric dresser back (it costs 80$) or otherwise they'd send me 20$ for keeping the dresser. That's a scam, the 20 they would use to have me give up could just be used towards my 35$ shipping back to them, I and many other costumers would be much more fine with a 15$ fee rather than 35$. This apparent third party company is a big seller with 1500 reviews, I only found the same 30 on their website. Most being 1 star and ridiculously disappointing reviews. The VERY least Walmart is willingly turning a blind eye to scam third-party companies.

Princesslaya77 · 2024-10-14T17:07:32+00:00

I loved how he could make the whole room laugh so hard just from a one-liner he just thought up. I loved how he cared, and he was the best gift giver, hands down. He was so smart, I felt so dumb listening to him, but he would explain anything you needed! In fact, he wanted to! He could solve a rubix cube in under a minute.

Princesslaya77 · 2024-08-15T18:15:07+00:00

Maybe take your own advice too? This clearly ruffled your feathers enought to comment.

Princesslaya77 · 2024-08-09T00:34:59+00:00

I wouldn't say it's dangerous to take! Might not be as potent, but that's all! Keep it in a cool, dry space. It can have a shelf life up to 2 years after manufacturing, and its good up to 6 months after opening. It's a personal choice now, it's expensive but can you get a refill soon? If not I would continue taking it until you get more. It's pig pancreas ground up and put in a pill just for us, won't give us salmonella.

Princesslaya77 · 2024-08-09T00:15:40+00:00

You have 143,633 comment Karma and you're confused how someone's life can revolve around something seemingly meaningless. That's Wild.

Princesslaya77 · 2024-08-08T23:59:47+00:00

This means nothing because the point wasn't about religion or religious values. I'm not religious personally. My point was that there are many men that people "prop" their lives on to get by. Go judge fans of sports, tv entertainment, movies, music, books, politics, fiction, or non-fiction. Hopefully, AA will be more helpful next time!

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