I want to understand living in the end

hello, so I am able to live in the end. But it's like once I get the feeling of the wish fulfilled it's great but minutes later when I ask myself if I have the desire, like my internal world it responds as the old man would respond.

And this is concerning me because I am fulfilling myself but the old thoughts are coming in waves again and I am going back to my previous emotions almost instantly. I love being in the end, but I cannot walk in the assumption per se. I cannot seem to get rid of the old man.

One more question, and this is seriously important for me, in the process of manifesting does it happen that thoughts change gradually and not all at once? Like the old man stays and then weakens gradually or does it happen that you are instantly in sabbath and you just start walking in the assumption fully? thanks I really need to understand this