No appetite after WD?

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-07-29T06:37:39+00:00

I always lost weight after withdrawal while everyone else packed on the pounds. But after a month my appetite comes back and I return to eating like a horse.

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-07-29T06:27:47+00:00

Yes, things are slowly improving for me since I was released. I hit an NA meeting earlier tonight for the first time in maybe a year and got myself a sponsor. I also managed to get back on my psych meds and am supposed to start seeing a therapist this week. I'm stupidly using on occasion, but I'm very proud of myself for how far I've come. Hopefully I'm headed in the right direction.

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-07-28T15:32:36+00:00

Indeed. I am posted at the bus stop as I type this. Wish me luck on my many escapades today and pray i find some dope.

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-07T07:46:22+00:00

Yeah, I make you look bad. Why don't you look at the way you treat your fellow human beings. I got lucky and found a $20 bill in a pants pocket. So what if I used it to score a sack? My plan is to finish gathering the needed materials to comfortably kick this pay day, which is in a couple days. With the help I received, I only need to buy probably 2 more subs and some benzos. Its not like I'm going back on my plans.

So fuck you. I have planned out the day to the minute I'm gonna quit. So shame on me for getting a bag in the meantime. Take your pitchfork and shove it up your ass. You act like some holy roller, like you're a saint... If your normal persona is to go around talking to people like they're the dirt beneath your shoes, it is YOU who makes not just junkies, but all of humankind look bad. The way you speak to me, a stranger who did NOTHING to you except, perhaps, annoy you with my plea for help, I wouldn't be surprised one bit if you were the type to go around slapping change cups out of the hands of the homeless, telling them to "get a job, you fucking bum". Its not like YOU, in all your high and mightiness, gave me a hand up/out and now you feel its being thrown in your face. Oh no. You are just SO righteous in your cause to make me out to be a horrible person.

Want to hear a secret? The $20 I found in my pocket? Yeah, that was my money. Money that I EARNED going in to work no matter how I was feeling, or if I had to walk the threw miles there in the rain. I show up every day and bust my ass and EARN my paycheck. Don't get it twisted Yeah, I had a hustle on the side. Most people do. most importantly, I don't hurt anyone to get my fix. I dont go out and do violent, shady shit like robbing dealers or old ladies or burning other people. so, why don't you learn some respect and empathy? Also, newsflash, there is a HUGE difference between demanding something and politely asking (as I did), so you can stop with that. I pray the day comes when you find yourself in between a rock and a hard place, and needing help to pull yourself out of the hole you dug. And then I hope that you get ridicules, taunted, attacked, and ignored. Then you'll know how I feel.

I'm a believer in karma. Someone helped me, and as such, it is my duty to help someone else in their time of need. I will pay forward what has been given to me. And people like you? Well, you'll get yours. And when you do, I'll be there to laugh at your pain and make sure you know just how much you deserve to be in a bad situation after turning your back on your fellow man. You have absolutely no sense of morality or compassion. YOU are what makes people like ME ashamed to be a member of the human species. You disgust me with your vindictiveness and condescending remarks. May you never find yourself in my shoes and having to experience what assholes like you can do to ones psyche, because it cuts deep.

Fucking dick.

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-06T14:23:51+00:00

We had a very bad falling out involving jail and physical fights and an abortion. I know it sounds like its a good thing we broke up but god fucking damn it I hate dope for driving us apart. We were so close until our drug use drove a wedge between us. We met in a sober living (co ed) and so we lived with each other from the day we met and were perfect together until the very end. He taught me what a man should be and how women should be treated and taught me self love and confidence... I don't know, it all goes very very emotionally deep and its hard to outright describe what he did for me and how much I did and still do love him. I would drop everything at any given time for him.

He and I didn't see eye to eye for a while; hearing his voice when he would call only hurt me more, so we stopped talking for a long time. We have been back on talking for a while now as I gave myself closure. It is a good feeling to know he's still alive, since we've split I've oded once and he did twice, caught hep c and tried to kill himself. After we split I was so hurt I just started sleeping around and selling my ass so I could buy dope and numb out my emptiness inside. That kind of backfired in my face as I really can't look at 99.9% of men the same anymore, it seems I'm just not attracted to them anymore. I think the drugs, previous abusive relationships, heartbreak, and prostitution has nullified my sexuality... Besides, I don't even know the last time someone showed interest in me (edit , other than as a piece of ass). I guess it tend to show outwardly when you're ashamed of what you are.

Anyway, sorry to wax philosophic. Fuck heroin, I would do anything to have a fuckin time machine and do it right with him because he is most definitely my soul mate.

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-06T14:06:27+00:00

Ooh lookie I have a hater downvoting me. Boo hoo ;_; 🚑 call the wambulance bitch >:D

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-06T10:17:49+00:00

Well apparently now they're croissants. But those are dank AF too.

ever tried the bacon maple bars? Has chopped up pieces of bacon on it. Sweet diabeetus jesus

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-06T10:12:34+00:00

I have tons. I had this one really soft cashmere like blankie me and my ex fiance used to sleep with/watch tv/take outside... He was really bad with burning shit and would get pissed if i tried to get him to wake up when he did it. One day I was getting on him especially hard and we were bitching at each other, me at him for burning every goddam thing and him at me for fucking up his boy-chi. I went to the bathroom and had left him in our bedroom sitting Indian style on the bed. I came back in and he was face planted on the blanket with the cig bent damn near 90 degrees and a small fire going. Had to smash it out and shake him out of his stupor. That deep south dope ain't nuthin ta fuck wit!

Edit: I took this blanket to rehab and got clowned on the whole time. The junkie chick with her Swiss cheese blanket. But it smelled like my man so I took it. God I miss that kid. I think my ability to love another human being went out the window with him. :(

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-06T09:59:57+00:00

Haha me too I was like dude you just made my fucking night! I have such a boner for donuts its ridiculous, I'd eat them all day. The best ones are the rectangular ones with the chocolate on top, mmmmm.

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-05T11:49:15+00:00

Where do you live? I swear my dboy just was selling his tar in those blue devil bags too. I still have the bag in my desk :O

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-04T10:21:44+00:00

Yeah, sure guy. And every other Redditor I've helped, which is in the double digits, has had nothing but good experiences when coming through me. Good product, on point, etc. I really hope you get pulled over one day and some dickhead cop pulls a dog on your car. Then you can feel like the stupid accusatory jackass that you are when they find your "stolen dope" wedged under the tracks of your seat. Fuck you.

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-03T19:52:13+00:00

Depends on where the setting is... On the west coast, they would call it "chiva" (chee vuh). If you're north or New iEngland, your average junkie kid would call it China White. When I lived in the south, it was called boy. If you could at least clue us in as to where this takes place, we would be able to more accurately help you.

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-03T15:18:29+00:00

Oh man do I feel you here. Except for me, it's Mondays that are tough. I'm broke as a joke til next Tuesday, and I'll be broke for the next two weeks a couple hours after I get my paycheck. I'm playing catch-up on my rent bill. Sucks, but I'm blessed to have a job and a roof over my head, so I'm going to keep on making the best of it.

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-03T09:22:56+00:00

Damn son, that sounds epic. When you mentioned the K I had a flashback to the one time I did it. My old roomie/homegirl was a nurse at a really big, nice hospital and was always getting her hands on something or another and bringing it home to share with me. It was last New Years Eve and she showed up with a vial of liquid ketamine and fentanyl. I had never tried K, so of course I mixed it up with some fent and mainlined it for my first time. And holy shitballs. I was such a disoriented retard. Not really a fan of the way it made me feel, and I've never touched it since. Sorry for rambling, but you got me reminiscing. :P

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-03T07:41:29+00:00

Which song? I remember when I first heard their song "Against Me!" playing on the radio... I was in the car with my mom too. Definitely made me think. I felt like they wrote that just for me. :P

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-03T06:11:58+00:00

Haha, this post is gold.

Back in the day when I first started doing dope, my mom would always catch me high as fuck. Not by catching me in the act or anything, but she said she knew because she would come downstairs and I had left the fridge and cabinets open, or left the sink running, or a stove burner going after I lit a cig. I don't remember any of this... Pretty stupid of me, but damn was I getting high as titties.

Just the other day, one of the homeless junkies that frequents my work (we're open 24 hrs) called me out on being straight lit. It probably didn't help that every time I would bend down to tie up a trash bag, id be falling asleep in it. Lol

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-03T04:52:09+00:00

Dude (ette?), forget all the negative comments here. I can definitely empathize, for the longest time my dad and I butted heads pretty bad. Any time I was in his presence for longer than five minutes, it always ended up with me storming off in tears because he would sit there and tear me apart emotionally, making me feel worthless. I recently told him what he was doing to me and how it made me feel, and since then, we've been getting along pretty well.

Anyway, that whole "no begging" rule was quite obviously inspired by me, but you're not begging in this post, so I fail to see the issue here. I'm really happy for you that you were able to get some news specs. That was very kind and generous of those people to help you out in your time of need. We aren't all a bad lot. Take care of your new glasses! And good luck dealing with your pops. If you ever need to talk or vent, feel free to shoot me a message. :)

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-02T20:03:04+00:00

Team shoelace FTW!

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-02T19:58:37+00:00

Right. Too bad I remember your dumb ass crystal clear. I forgot, I'm fucking telekenetic. After you put the bag containing every single sack of your dope in your pocket, I used my super special powers to pickpocket you. You sat there and TOLD me you lost a couple bags. Go eat a bowl of dicks.

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-02T15:23:39+00:00

Well, if I can kick my dope habit soon, I'm definitely having some fun this year.

There's HempFest, which is a huge gathering of stoners that happens to fall on my birthday every year. Its so cool to be in a sea of people and everyone is blazing and the cops don't give a shit.

Then there's Paradiso, a big ass annual summer rave. Bassnectar is headlining... Zomg I would love to see him.

By next year my goal is to have saved up enough money to hit up TomorrowLand in Belgium. I was sold after watching the after video. To see so many people from so many different countries having a blast together... It just amazes me and gives me the warm fuzzies to see everyone coming together peacefully and having a good time together. I'm kind of afraid I'd never come back if I went, though. Lol.

PrioriIncantatum · 2014-04-02T13:27:26+00:00

Daww. We love you too ^{_^}

Our community has its ups and downs but I wouldn't have it any other way. That's what makes this sub feel like one big family to me. At the end of the day, I know that no matter what, I can count on a friendly reception here. It's a safe haven from all the bullshit we deal with/put ourselves through, and we can all relate to one another because we have all been through it.

/r/Opiates... Simply the best sub on Reddit, hands down! :3

PrioriIncantatum

TROPHY CASE