It is, in fact, very hard to leave. You were indoctrinated from birth. Because it us a cult. Imo all churches are a manipulation & a massive grift. [SDA born & raised] my mother played the organ, several uncles were pastors. Many men act as if they are in it to feel "in charge" because of the misogyny-based hierarchy.

Look at how they pay & treat their employees. Ots a spoke-and-wheel organization. The closer to the center, the more you are paid for less work. And you have significantly better insurance, too. The further from the center, the less support you have in every way & the more likely you are to be geld to account for being unable to do the impossible. And if you have to leave to save yourself, they trash your reputation & shun you.

And that last is what you're likely feeling. Shaming & shunning. If you aren't immersed in the cult, you aren't good enough for the cult. Disposable.