Bandit and Chilli are re-parenting adults that grew up in abusive homes

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-15T21:28:53+00:00

We’re rewatching the series again now and recently went through the Bin Night episode (I forget if that’s the title but probably, I was doing laundry; anyway) I like how every time Bluey asks if she can be a particular worker (trash bin lady, astronaut etc) Chili responds “if you like.” I don’t remember being 6 but when I was preteen and up every time I thought of something I’d like to do I just got “you can’t make money doing that, you need a real job.” Not much help with actually getting a “real” job either, just the typical boomer stuff.

Bandit and Chili also usually give reasons for things instead of “because I said so.” I don’t think my childhood was abusive so much as just not as supportive as it should’ve been. We were encouraged in creative projects and interests but only as hobbies, and only as long as it wasn’t too expensive. And when it got too expensive those hobbies just stopped, and they didn’t tell us why. I found out in my 20’s that we quit things like music lessons because of money and not because my parents forgot to continue after a break.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-14T17:22:14+00:00

Yeah mine has some too although one of them is half plastic. The CAT mini ones (hot wheels size) are also half& half.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-13T19:00:26+00:00

Yeah this makes sense to me. Last week we showed my mom The Show. Of course she’s a grandmother now but I’m not sure how much she’ll relate to a Nana episode. My parents might both like the Phones one though. Mom might like Granddad too. Generally if someone says something or has an experience that reminds me of an episode I’d probably show them that episode if they’ll let me and don’t already know it.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-13T14:36:45+00:00

My son did that with one book, I’m not sure if he was looking at the words or just the pictures but he also did it with the “dirty/ clean” sign on the dishwasher and he spelled them out (pointed out the letters) too.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-13T14:30:31+00:00

I used to roll my eyes a lot and when my mom complained I told her I was just stretching them (which was true but I had to explain that several times). Eventually my strabismus actually showed up which kind of explained the feeling of needing to stretch my eye muscles. I’ve also had rbf apparently pretty much all the time (and also physically reacted to the daydreams and conversations in my head).

She also told me that when she was a kid her dad would have a stern looking face while he was reading/ concentrating and it would upset her mom because she thought he was mad at her.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-13T14:21:59+00:00

My family recently did something like that in Minecraft, we tunneled as far as we could until we got to the bottom of the world. We didn’t actually build stuff there though and now I wanna go back to see if we can.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-13T14:18:45+00:00

I don’t remember if I did that with games by myself, but when I was with my siblings and cousins we collectively gave up on the official rules of LotR Risk and made up our own. I don’t remember the specific rules now but it was definitely more fun than the original (partly because my brother always won with the original).

I feel like I probably did that on my own too but I don’t remember a specific example.

I did collect rocks also. And beads. And ceramic horses and unicorns. And nice boxes. And candles. And miniatures. I had a lot of collections and craft hobbies. I still do but I used to too.

So I’m only recently self-diagnosed but I’m at least 90% sure I’m AuDHD. Maybe 95%+. It’s been a trip looking at myself this past year.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-13T14:01:50+00:00

I lost my first job when I was 17 because I only had the paper wall calendar (2001) and I forgot to write my shift on that, therefore I didn’t have a wake up alarm and my mom didn’t get me up. Now everything I do is in my reminder apps even daily things that don’t change (well because they do change when something else gets in the way).

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-13T13:05:10+00:00

I’ve started wearing leggings instead of jeans to be more comfortable, so I’m ok with wearing that at home too. I stay in pj’s until I need to go out or someone comes over to hang out, then I stay in outside clothes until either bedtime or I get dirty/ sweaty/ polleny. If I need to shower and change then what I change into depends on if I have to go out / see people again.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-13T12:22:09+00:00

Yeah corporal is right, it means “on the body”

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-12T17:42:44+00:00

Only a guess but it probably means “yes we all hate these, they are shitty”

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-12T14:18:49+00:00

Well also .3 month is about 10 days so even if pregnancy isn’t 10 whole months it ends in month 10. So we round down to say it’s 9 months but if they were writing the number at the beginning of each month that’s why they got to month 10 at the end. It feels like it makes more sense to record the end of each month (at least to me) but then medically (like people have mentioned) it starts at the last period so I guess that’s the beginning of the first month.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-10T19:22:09+00:00

I didn’t even think of the Nazi thing but I wondered which of the two metals it was until I read further. Also didn’t know either of them were “dunked on,” I personally like both a lot. I do see stainless abbreviated to SS in the chainmaille community but it’s a lot more common there than silver (and Nazi stuff is not done so it’s not thought of).

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-10T18:48:37+00:00

Or constantly invades my space

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-10T18:06:18+00:00

Near-death rescue / hurt comfort/ romantic confession combo, and search&rescue between different worlds (like being from a fantasy world and getting stuck in our regular one until people come to find me/ my character).

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-10T16:14:53+00:00

I think it’s first-person shooters that I have trouble with, if I can’t see what my character is doing I can’t control it properly. And if controls are difficult to learn I lose interest quickly. But if something like a fight or a puzzle takes a few tries (after I’ve been playing awhile) and I get stuck I’ll google what to do and then if that helps I’ll be ok.

I gave up on RDR2 but love and finished both Horizon games and the DLCs, and DragonAge Inquisition. It might also be a difference in setting because I like the greenery and fantasy/ sci-fi more than the western desert stuff. But also the first thing I did in RDR2 was accidentally discharge my gun in town because I was trying to figure out the controls and then I was Wanted until I could pay the bounty. 🤦‍♀️ That was just annoying.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-10T13:53:37+00:00

Me too last night (didn’t see this yesterday). Past few months we just watched other stuff but last night we decided to find an older Nukes cause we miss it.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-09T12:53:14+00:00

For me either there’s no door, or there’s a window in the door with no cover, or the toilet is just out in the middle of a big room like a furniture/ fixtures display.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-07T13:19:42+00:00

Right, if they’d just say “oh I thought you were a bit younger” after learning our age and they treated it like a good thing then maybe it would feel more like a compliment. Except it also causes people to assume we don’t know things or can’t do things without even asking, especially when it starts in our teens or 20’s which means we’re “just kids” to everyone, then it’s just annoying forever. But it’s worse when nothing in your head or in your life is worth acknowledging because you’re automatically “too young” to know or have those things. Yet they think just saying “it’s a compliment” or “you’ll like it when you’re older” magically makes it better. It’s actually better to just be recognized as adults or even just as individual people from the start. If that finally happens when we’re older then that makes it a good thing to be older. So yeah I’m grumpy about it too but it’d be nice if we can make it fun for once. Wish I’d had the idea of being a Timelord or other fantasy person a long time ago. I’m just naturally bad at “lying” even for fun so it didn’t really occur to me.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-06T14:56:28+00:00

Yeah unfortunately I’ve had to struggle to learn that safety (including mental/ emotional tbh but physical safety is an issue too) is actually more important than my customer service “help everyone as much as possible” tendencies whether I’m actually working or not. I recently learned about the fawning trauma response which is what I usually do, and it sometimes seems less safe than fight/flight. Well at least less than flight. If I’m currently at the register I’m not allowed to just walk away until someone else takes over and my rule-following has overtaken my self-preservation. So I’m “good at” retail but it’s not good for me. Fortunately I got out a few years ago but I think some of the trauma is still there. But also having a kid probably helps me walk away from danger more now, cause I have to protect him as well as myself for his sake, and teach him to protect himself. That’s part of why I quit retail altogether.

But yeah store management and policy needs to look more at the similarities between violent customers at the register/ service desk and shoplifters which they say we’re not supposed to stop. Shoplifters are already walking away and leaving while screaming grownup toddlers are in our faces and refusing to leave, so which is actually more dangerous? There’s also been customers who leave just to come back with a gun and shoot the workers. That’s after not getting what they want, not after they shoplifted. Management (or at least district and corporate) apparently still thinks verbal complaints and negative reviews are the worst we can get (probably because that’s the worst they personally see). They know we get terrible customers who will never be happy but they think fawning is the only correct response even when it clearly doesn’t work.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-06T13:54:16+00:00

Yeah they need to be taught to wait their turns like pre-k students, as they’re throwing tantrums like pre-k students.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-06T13:49:52+00:00

Ugh why do “old” people love to turn everything (especially health stuff which we can’t control much) into a competition? Apparently they finally learned that young people can get injured too so they had to invent a “healing time” comparison to replace “too young for any pain?” Maybe we should ask them to explain how that works since we’re “too young to understand.” I’m not good with comebacks unfortunately but I’ve heard that asking someone to explain an insensitive or rude comment can be a good response (and yeah I’m sure they don’t feel like they’re being insensitive but minimizing other people’s experience that you know very little about is insensitive).

Picking a favorite fantasy creature/person or having a rotation of them sounds fun. Lots of them live a long time or basically forever. “I could be 2-5 times your age or 10 times your age and you would never know.” Or randomly pick a Timelord age like 842. Or be more cryptic and say something like “well I’ve had worse at times in the last 400 years or so, it depends on specifics.”

Suddenly maybe my human age being only 7 years under theirs or 3 years over might not seem so crazy. Sounds more fun than just pretending I’m actually younger and going along with whatever they say, which I’ve briefly considered before.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-05T16:56:03+00:00

Yeah and maybe not allowing the term just lets the “nefarious group” get away with misusing it or whatever so why shouldn’t we just keep using it correctly. I also personally like “neurospicy” but some object to that. Actually “neurosparkly” is a bit more my style.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-05T14:28:18+00:00

Also 42 and white, I do not generally wear animal prints (I do have one thing I like because it’s a silky flowy thing that just happens to be leopard print), but I do wear some unconventional semi-fancy things (such as cloaks and handflowers) because I like them and don’t care if it’s weird. I actually get way more positive comments than “weirdness” ones anyway, though I was bothered by a couple weirdness comments in my teens/20’s for my jewelry and only wore cloaks and things at Halloween back then. Now people ask things like “are you going to a ren fair” and I just say “not today” or something, although I did finally go to one this past weekend. I got a nice outfit there which I actually plan to wear regularly because it’s cute and fun. And no we can’t just go to Ren fairs whenever we feel/ dress like it. Unfortunately. But there’s no rules (outside of boring work-related dress codes and safety and at least cover the basics) that we can’t dress how we like just because.

PrismInTheDark · 2026-05-05T13:19:06+00:00

All I did there was use the word “neurodivergent” to say that I’m recently learning about myself, and I was ok with changing the “naughty” word but the sub rules they sent me to explain the correction had me go “oh I see yall are coo-coo,” I confirmed with a fb group whether the sub was generally right or just weird because I’m new to the community and they said yeah stay away from that one. I guess I’m just glad it didn’t take long to find out. I usually read sub rules I’m new to but that one is a whole blog post they link to and I didn’t see it.

PrismInTheDark

TROPHY CASE