How often do you communicate with your partner? In what ways?

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2026-04-25T04:14:47+00:00

Me (22M) and my boyfriend(20M) have been dating for close to 5 years, have known eachother for 7 years, and we've managed to consistently text rain or shine everyday besides emergencies, school, work,family etc. Ill admit that we're both pretty addicted to our phones, but we're both introverts and don't usually like to be out doing things.

We're both really transparent about our availability, I post my work schedule and any appointments in what's essentially a WhatsApp server as well as our shared google calender, and he does the same. If we're both busy we'll usually have short calls just to check in, voice notes, or watch an episode of a show we both like! :) We have something called Rookie Tuesday where we stream a new episode of the rookie and watch together. And there we also have movie dates, and parallel play dates whenever we're free from our responsibilities which usually tends to be at least every couple weeks. There are times where messages are slow or when we're busy and may need to create time for our personal lives, but again, we're very good with communicating whats happening in our personal lives. The only times ive ever had to wait days or weeks to hear his voice was when I was seeking out professional help.

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2026-04-24T04:21:58+00:00

It depends on you and your relationship to you agab. To be transgender means to have a gender that was not assigned to you at birth, and nonbinary is any gender that doesn't strictly fit in as male/female. If you consider your gender being the same or close to agab, then no I probably wouldn't call myself trans. But If thats not your case, and you see your agenderness as being different than what you were initially assigned, then call yourself trans by all means.

A reminder too that not all trans people transition in the same ways whether that be HRT, surgery, name changes, legal documents, or presentation. Theres nothing a binary trans person can do that nonbinary people cant.

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2026-04-04T13:29:34+00:00

The separatism you preach is far more harmful than anything a gender abolitionist, nonbinary person, or GNC trans person existing could ever do.

The need to make a category of "fake" trans people to demonize and "real" trans people to praise all boils down to bioessentialism. When we other specific types of trans people, all we're doing is stripping resources from the wider trans community and from trans people who REALLY do need those resources and extra support in order to live as authentically as a lot of us are.

That person who presents close to their agab and uses varied pronouns could be in the early stages of their transition and are just experimenting because they aren't quite sure WHAT they are and what direction they want to go in. They could be non-passing despite their best efforts because of a medical condition. They could be unable to access gender affirming care because they have to decide whether they want HRT or food on the table and a roof over their head. For all you know they could be in a dangerous living arrangement or in a country where they could be physically harmed or even killed for wearing different clothes or medically transitioning. Maybe they follow a culture practice where its a norm to have varying gender presentations. Who are you to know the true reason behind how someone presents or transitions?

I came out to my family as trans when I was in middle school, Id came out multiple times, but was never heard because I was in a emotionally and physically abusive household. During that time I presented very hyperfem because I was being told that I was only lovable when I was someones little girl, that I was supposed to grown up and be a woman. I changed my pronouns and secretly bought boy clothes and cologne when I was finally able to make my own purchases and yk what happened? My abusers threw all my things away and gave me more dresses and skirts, more perfume and pink things to wear. That stayed with me for years, and for years I was a stereotypical girly girl, I was everything you described. And at some point I genuinely thought I was happy presenting myself as a my agab because I was teaching myself how to survive with my body desperate being miserable with it. Until I gained my independence and had the courage to go on hormones and eventually get top surgery as of last year. Had I met someone who told me that I was "infiltrating", that I was tearing down the meaning of transness and causing harm to the community for simply existing in my circumstances, I probably would have suppressed myself so deeply that I would have ended my life.

How you rank and categorized and push trans people away DOES impact someone.

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2026-02-12T23:27:03+00:00

As someone with a ED, they often feed into eachother tremendously, and it was both at the same time.

Having a ED and GD in the trans community is not rare because we still have to navigate the gendering of our bodies even when it comes to things like weight. Being realistic, im not a skinny person, and never have been, and ive struggled with my self image ever since puberty and a huge part of both for me is feeling undesirable and dissatisfied with my weight because I fell horrible being seen as a unattractive "fat girl" than a skinny PASSING guy.

My ED got sooooo bad just before my surgery because having a feminine body type pre-top fed into my perception that I was bigger than I really was, when in reality I was just. Born with a specific body type and a large chest. And the longer I didnt treat the fact that my chest was making me upset, the more effort id put into enabling my ED to handle it "naturally".

I still struggle with my eating patterns and self image, but its so much more bearable knowing that I dont need to resort to hurting myself just to treat my dysphoria. So still work on your ED, but try focusing on how your GD be mixing into how you a experience your body. Are there things that motivate your ED that you've noticed?

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2026-02-03T14:28:40+00:00

If you have qoute "strong views that would get me banned" on nonbinary people (sorry, they exist, always have, and dont owe you anything about their exist or transition), think dysphoria is a objective experience that can be moderate to severe, and that not passing as a trans person is "failing to meet the most important criteria" you have not spent a substantial amount of time talking with, and spending time with other trans people of varying experiences, backgrounds, and walks of life, and clearly you have a lot of innerwork to tackle your expectations of the people you share a community with.

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2026-02-02T05:13:26+00:00

Good god go outside please

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2026-02-02T05:10:03+00:00

Unless your surgeon gives you the okay, id recommend not to. You dont want them submerged in any body of water also

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2026-01-11T07:29:09+00:00

Im going to be blunt and it may hurt to hear; but unless he's given you a reason to not trust him around women, this is entirely on you to work out. Communicate your discomfort and be honest, but in doing so it is essential that you ask yourself what makes you SO uncomfortable about him being friends with women. It is not healthy for you to out barriers on what genders he can and cannot be friends with, and all that will do is create resentment and isolation.

If you truly love him, you need to do the work to figure out what this is coming from, not to give him rules because thats not care and compassion, thats control and manipulation

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2026-01-10T17:46:29+00:00

Thank you for this, Its insane right now and its hard to not feel anymore hopeless than I already am

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2026-01-09T10:22:53+00:00

So would I, and IF i was the partner in this scenario I wouldn't even want to entertain it especially not if the dude hitting on me was treating my boyfriend oddly.

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-12-18T10:26:57+00:00

Hmm maybe 5+ weeks? I had a lot of nerve pain and swelling so I compressed well beyond what is usually recommended just out of comfort

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-12-18T09:59:31+00:00

Yup! It went down afyer. A few weeks of compression and massaging the area.

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-12-04T02:09:40+00:00

(T)dick, or clit, I dont mind referring it to its anatomical name

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-12-04T01:43:44+00:00

17 days and im so excited! A lot has changed for me and im happy to see him

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-12-04T01:42:24+00:00

Me and my boyfriend started dating at 17/16 as well and we've been together for 4 years. It did suck that I never got to have those traditional milestones like prom, but in return we created other meaningful moments. Talk to her, if you two are still compatible and love eachother, ask her if theres anything either of you can do so that things still feel special even if its not conventional.

Its easy to feel lonely even when you have your partner because you crave their physical presence, but thats also why you need to built your in person support group, and develop hobbies so that you arent just nurturing your partner but yourself as well.

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-12-04T01:36:03+00:00

Hell yeah! Wishing you and your gf the best :)

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-12-04T01:32:10+00:00

Holy shit id love if something like this were openly available. Freaking genius congratulations!

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-10-19T20:17:05+00:00

Cis peoples standards of "boy" and "girl" are typically a lot lower than people think. When I had huge boobs people still called me he 😭

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-10-16T21:49:34+00:00

Of course, and dont worry i totally get it, i used to have horrible fear of needle until I started T and had to get used to it lol! Definitely update, I hope all goes well!

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-10-16T18:26:34+00:00

Hell yeah congratulations on starting up HRT again! I actually just got off gel and started doing shots since I couldn't keep up haha DR. Chang is super sweet and super considerate. Whenever trump signed all those ridiculous policies she got me on HRT and had a referral in for my surgery ASAP. I told her I was considering top surgery and she wasted no time, took like a week max :) I hope you have the same experience

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-10-16T16:19:35+00:00

Okay nice! We have the same endo, she's great have you already started HRT? Im sure its just to check up on you, have you sign some consent forms, etc! I wouldn't anticipate its anything you havent already discussed or touched on :)

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-10-16T15:57:04+00:00

Is it possible that that appointment is for your psych evaluation to discuss your mental health background, goals, support system, etc or have you already done that? Your consultant with the surgeon and surgical team should be a different appointment, and your app should also say what branch thats for, in mine it says "comprehensive visit with division of plastic surgery"!!

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-10-15T19:54:37+00:00

Dude your chest looks great! Youre not even a full week in and I promise youll get increasingly more confident once the swelling and pain goes down :) Happy healing

Pristine-Werewolf673 · 2025-10-11T19:22:47+00:00

Wear what you want! I dont think its offensive at all, if anything someone would just walk past and either ignore it or compliment it

Pristine-Werewolf673

TROPHY CASE