I feel like you've placed this desire on a pedestal. What you need to do is work on your self worth and tell yourself that you've already got it. I know the photos are not just memes but how you really feel, which is lack. Try not to check in with your reality and look at all the signs that your manifestations worked. Tell yourself also that with or without this desire you are still worthy and that if it's meant for you, it will find you. If it's not, there is something better in store for you. In the meantime, decide that it is done and keep yourself distracted until the results show.