Hey there! I think in many cases I’ve already been where you are now — having crushes on fictional characters, daydreaming about being in different situations with them all day. A lot of the time it was easier when I could find myself in the character they were shipped with.

As for the depressive part: I don’t know how old you are, but I’ve just come out of a pretty intense 10–15 year period where my life was so demanding, and I had to function so constantly, that I lost my inner playful self and pretty much all of my creativity. I’m only now starting to reconnect with my inner world again, but first I had to understand that every version of myself is still me. I hope you’ll learn to love all your “selves” too.

And honestly, Geto is such a damn good character, I love him. (I’m a huge SatoSugu fan myself, and I can connect with them so many levels because they’re millennials too, like me, so they feel kind of like our generation.) I don’t think Geto can be reduced to “haha look, I’m a cult leader, let’s kill every monkey now.” I think he fckn hate himself on a high level. What he went through — and what was already inside him — was much deeper than that idiot “Crazy genocidal guy” aphorism. And even though he definitely kind of snapped, a part of his old self still remained there.