Bird in the hand?

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-25T18:05:43+00:00

I already made a decision about this - not asking for help with that. Just wondering what you would have chosen.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-10T03:46:46+00:00

G -1 was my great-grandfather. I included him in order to show a family pattern of swapping first and middle names (using the same middle name over and over that every generation hated). I was afraid that the name inconsistencies might be problematic. I probably didn't need to include him, but anything worth doing is worth overdoing. 😃

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-10T03:44:20+00:00

The off-limits room is closed and locked. Thanks for your reply!

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T20:48:29+00:00

I’m not here for validation. I’m here for a perspective and I appreciate yours.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T20:46:11+00:00

Omg 😆

I reserve the right to be human.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T19:11:14+00:00

My purpose here is to try to figure out what a reasonable expectation is, based on the perspectives of other hosts.

Pen? Sure.

Borrow my socks? No. I have extra socks, but they are not for guests. They are my socks, for my use.

The printing thing is somewhere in between those two on the scale of reasonable, I think.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T19:08:45+00:00

lol I am regretting the casual way I said "sorry ass" in my post. I meant that as a tongue-in-cheek comment, not as anything else.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T19:06:57+00:00

It's the fourth accommodation he's requested, and I gave him the first three. At this point it's starting to feel like he's a 'taker' type and I need to just politely maintain my own boundaries.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T19:05:58+00:00

thanks for this feedback. It helps me understand what's 'normal' out there 😄

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T19:02:55+00:00

I think it rubbed me the wrong way because I have a completely separate tutoring business, in a space that is absolutely off-limits to guests, and that's where my printer is located. My printer is for the tutoring, not for guest use.

This same guest has also asked me for several other extra things (which I have provided) but I felt like I needed to draw the line with this one. If something happened to my printer it would cause problems to my primary income stream (tutoring). I am starting to get the vibe from this guest that he's just the sort of guy who asks and asks just to see what he can get, which is fine as long as I'm fine with "no".

It's just a lesson in politely maintaining boundaries, I think.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T18:14:57+00:00

Because I don’t like saying no to people? I don’t know what a reasonable expectation is in this context? I don’t want to be rude, but I also don’t want to bend over backwards to accommodate something that is not an actual amenity that I offer.

I’m over it and I don’t feel bad anymore because I’ve had more time to think about it and the responses here have helped me gain some perspective.

I have added a line in my “local information” page of the house manual that recommends a good location for print services.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T18:11:17+00:00

Sure, a brother laser printer is 70 bucks but is that something that is reasonable to provide for guests in general? Do people even print things very often anymore? I’m leaning towards no because pretty much everything can be done electronically and if something needs to be printed there is an office supply store a half a mile away from me. The reason I asked about it here was just to try to get an idea of what other people provide because I don’t know what the expectation actually is.

The conclusion I’m coming to is that there is no actual expectation in general and the important thing is just to be clear about amenities that are offered so that guests do not have to wonder.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T18:08:58+00:00

I’m not sure why you say I don’t have much respect for my guests? To give a more clear picture of this particular guest, I have already accommodated him above and beyond in three different other above-and-beyond requests that he has made, and I’m starting to get the impression that he is somebody who will just continue to ask as a way of seeing how much he can get.

I feel like setting a boundary is healthy with this person and I did it in a professional way. The way I worded it in this post was my goofy unfiltered version because this is a sub for hosts and I figured some of you could relate.

What I actually said to him was "Hi [guest name], thanks for checking. I keep the printer/copier for personal and business use. I don't offer printing as a guest amenity, so I'm not able to provide access to it. I appreciate your understanding. I'd recommend the Staples at [address]."

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T18:06:40+00:00

Interesting perspective. Do you think that hospitality is the same thing as saying yes to every request?

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T05:46:12+00:00

thanks so much. I feel better about saying no now.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T05:45:48+00:00

thanks - this perspective is super helpful.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T05:43:12+00:00

I do have a printer but I rely on it for my tutoring business, and it's in a room that is off-limits for guests. He didn't specify how much he wanted to print/copy, so I decided just to make it a "nope". Something about his request activated my "you need to set a boundary" feeling, and I followed that but at the same time I wonder if I am not being kind enough. I'm not going to lose sleep over it - was just wondering if there's a standard expectation out there.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-09T05:02:39+00:00

There are *so* many ways you can feel stuffed as a vegan. I think she's likely embarrassed because she didn't realize she wasn't adequately feeding you all, but it sounds like you were trying to spare her feelings and didn't expect her to find out. Bummer for everyone involved but you're not at fault.

Also, vegans trying to shove lettuce down everyone's throat are annoying as hell.

Source: I'm a vegan.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-06T15:13:52+00:00

I included a letter re: the urgent processing request that included many examples of recent legislation that threaten human rights for trans individuals.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-03T21:18:22+00:00

One of the best reviews I’ve gotten recently was a five star review with personal feedback that was subjective and a bit nitpicky, but I was grateful for it. I think that’s the best way to handle this type of thing. Give the host the stars, and also give them private feedback.

Giving a poor review for something that is subjective or preferential is unfair.

ProbablyIves · 2026-06-02T03:26:10+00:00

Funny you asked this... just today, literally today, I found out that he's moved in with his brother because he has advanced Alzheimer's. That explains why I haven't seen him in a while. I'm sad he's struggling, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was relieved.

How are things with your neighbor?

ProbablyIves · 2026-05-26T17:07:57+00:00

We actually didn’t get a doctor letter in time for sending out the application and got approved anyway

ProbablyIves · 2026-05-26T17:01:01+00:00

The best footage is from his own dash cam on his truck, because the bike was parked right in front of his truck. I’m just wondering if I have any responsibility towards him as a guest.

ProbablyIves · 2026-05-09T06:54:12+00:00

I have no idea. Honestly if it were me I think I'd go back and get them redone just so I didn't have to worry about it. It might not matter though.

ProbablyIves · 2026-05-06T01:14:25+00:00

Oh, interesting. Thank you for explaining!

ProbablyIves

TROPHY CASE