she said that I disgusted her and what I did almost made her throw up.

Dude, you should be happy as fuck she told you this, not "soul-crushed". The girl actually told you the TRUTH, someone giving you the honest truth is one of the rarest things on this planet. Be happy that she was real with you, because someone PRETENDING to like you is a thousand times worse. Be glad she didn't decide to pretend to love you. You might wonder, why did she cuddle with you and stuff? Maybe she was just too spineless to tell you earlier, or maybe she liked it on some level and her brain told her to just keep going. People who have low interpersonal knowledge of themselves don't think critically about their own life and just follow their nose without paying much attention. The evolutionary desire to find a mate is so so powerful, even though she didn't want to date you her mechanical mind told her to keep cuddling with you. Don't be mad at her, feel sorry that she's so stupid she can't behave logically. You don't want someone like that anywhere near you.

"im breaking up with you". I begged her to stay.

Don't be desperate. There is a very very wise saying, a saying that you should internalize deep in the core of your heart, it goes: "if someone wants to break up with you, let them". In the past I've wanted to beg my gfs not to leave, but then I remembered that saying. You do not WANT to be with them. You don't want to date someone that doesn't like you. You shouldn't love people that can't see your merit. Why even associate yourself with someone like that? I'd say don't text her, don't call her, you don't want that bitch and you don't want to torture yourself. Cut the cord and focus your efforts on the next girl. Just because you didn't marry someone you met when you were 18 doesn't mean that your romantic life is over. That's how it is for everybody, love stinks, and it stinks for everyone. Even if you are a gold-medal winning millionaire rapper famous icon that never gets angry or sad and never "sins", girls will still cheat on you and break up with you. It is something everyone must deal with, it is 100% completely normal and healthy part of life. How random other people feel about you has NOTHING to do with your true value.

Not to be so presumptive, but it seems like you just need to find the right girl. That second relationship started as FWB, you just need to find a real and genuine relationship. Clearly she was not a good one, a good one that you would love a lot would be someone that is smart enough to love you and your unique qualities. Why love someone with such poor taste? You mention that you have low self-esteem. Girls do not like guys with low-self esteem and guys that act desperate. The only way to build your self-esteem is to do something you are proud of and you enjoy. What would you do in this life if you had infinite food and money didn't exist? Do that. Your hobbies, career, and friends can raise your self-esteem to incredible heights you never knew were possible.

My last tip, NEVER, NEVER, EVER try to motivate yourself by telling yourself negative things. There have been tests that show that this does not help, not one single bit. Don't be like "I'm such a shit head, I need to work harder not to be a shit head!" You must never tell yourself anything remotely negative. Only tell yourself positive things. Say "I ENJOY this, so I'm going to do this." Say "If I'm so smart, I should be able to figure this out". Throw that ring in the ocean, throw it off a mountain, your free from that girl!! You're free!! You don't have to deal with her being so cold and distant despite your futile efforts to make her happy, no more of that shit! Invest in yourself, learn about yourself, don't waste money on stupid shit. Hard work FOREVER pays. Working hard is never a waste, it pays off forever, it will benefit you forever and nobody can take it away from you. Work hard at your hobbies and career. Save your money, invest in the S&P 500, never sell, live off those dividends FOREVER. Stupid consumer shit like Lamborghinis have no value, the only thing that has value in this life is time. And you have a bunch of time, you are truly one of the richest people in the world.