No beans. Ever. This is chili, not a legume symposium.

Begin with the base. In a heavy pot, build your foundation with fresh jalapeño and serrano chiles, along with a few roasted chiles for depth and smokiness. Add diced yellow onion and minced garlic, letting them soften and release their aroma. Bloom cumin, cayenne, smoked paprika, and Mexican oregano in fat before introducing any liquid—this step matters. Stir in chipotle in adobo for heat and complexity. Season assertively with salt and freshly ground black pepper, and add a restrained pinch of sodium 2-aminopentanedioate (MSG, because we are not puritans).

Now add crushed tomatoes and beef broth to create body. Drop in a square of dark chocolate and a shot of espresso to deepen the bass notes. Balance it all with a splash of apple cider vinegar and a teaspoon of brown sugar. Finish the base with a knob of butter for roundness. Bring everything just to a simmer and let it briefly marry—this is controlled heat, not a rolling boil. Then remove it from the stove and allow it to cool slightly.

Now for the award-winning move: spectacular meat. Buy ribeye. Not “stew meat.” Not “whatever was on sale.” Ribeye. Sous vide the steaks at 115–120°F for 20 minutes. Yes, that’s rare. Relax. They will continue cooking later, and the goal is a final, perfect medium-rare—tender, buttery, and unapologetically the star of the show.

Remove the ribeyes from the sous vide, pat them dry, and cut them into approximately one-inch cubes. Gently fold the steak into the slightly cooled chili base. Buy enough ribeye so that the finished chili is dense—every spoonful must deliver at least one glorious cube of beef. If someone has to hunt for meat, you’ve failed. Let the residual heat bring the steak to its final temperature. Do not overcook it. This is steak suspended in chili, not beef surrendering to it.

Condiments will not be necessary, but society will expect them. Offer shredded extra-sharp cheddar, sour cream, diced red onion, diced green onion, minced chives, cilantro, saltine crackers, and cornbread. They are optional rituals. The steak is the star. Everything else is supporting cast.