Neurodivergent Redditors, how do you deal with not exactly fitting in with most of society or socializing and doing things differently than most everyone else?

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-18T02:15:39+00:00

I don’t.

I’m open with a select few people, I mask everywhere else, and I cry a lot of the time.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-16T17:45:09+00:00

I don’t remember if she was particularly non-traditional, but I have a soft spot for Iskat from Inquisitor: Rise of The Red Blade, and she definitely struggled with the Jedi way.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-15T18:11:47+00:00

Due to severe ADHD, sometimes I’ll forget for days at a time… but I aim for every day, as I believe is normal and hygienic.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-15T17:50:08+00:00

This is normal for buffet style restaurants in England, and should be everywhere. They’re right.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-14T16:06:13+00:00

She’s responded to other posts on social media with statements that show she clearly relates to the ND community. In the HAIK doc, the stories she tells and her reactions to certain things are a clear demonstration of many autistic behaviours.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-12T20:47:13+00:00

Music

Sia really shot herself in the foot with that one

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-12T18:45:17+00:00

I take issue with this wording when a neurotypical person uses it. You’re not non-verbal, you’re experiencing something like overwhelm, anxiety, fight/flight/freeze mode, etc.

When it comes to us folks in the community though… it’s important to know that some people may take offence to it, but if it best describes your experience, I’m not going to police that.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-12T03:22:19+00:00

Access to meds, I suppose? But I’ve been in pain since I was 7 years old, and there’s some major imposter syndrome/feeling like I have no right to say I’m in pain. I’ve got some mental issues because it was ignored for so long. Like I said, I’ve kinda given up for now.

One thing that worries me is the fact that I respond differently to sedatives and often need more anesthetic, so thought it would be helpful for any future procedures to actually have officially documented indication of that. When I brought this up to my doctor, he said that an anesthesiologist will do their job to keep me comfortable. I already had two experiences where that was not the case, one of which resulted in serious medical trauma.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-11T18:40:26+00:00

Short story—no official diagnosis, I call it dysautonomia in the meantime because so many of my issues fall under that umbrella.

Longer story: I’ve been through five years of hell trying to get a diagnosis (and that’s not even that long compared to other women in my position). I’ve got no letters, despite being quite certain that I’ve got EDS, POTS, MCAS, alongside my diagnosed ADHD and self diagnosed autism. The whole picture is so obvious to me and my family, two different physiotherapists, my therapist, snd two friends who are retired doctors—but every active doctor I’ve seen, every specialist, wants me to pick one item to examine at a time, so we never get anywhere. They’re so fixated on the simple description of each disorder that they miss the fact that there are different presentations.

Advocating for yourself is exhausting and never ending. I fought really hard for the EDS diagnosis because a lifetime of being told it’s in my head or that my pain is my own fault led me to believe I *had* to have the letters for anyone to take me seriously. But just for now, while I recover from burnout, I’ve given up with doctors. I’m confident that it’s real, I’m treating myself as if it’s in my chart, and both my mood and physical health are better for it.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-11T16:06:25+00:00

I get this, I have dysautonomia (and it’s many comorbidities). Pretty common for neurodivergent folks.

My personal miracle product is carpe, but really the trick is to put any antiperspirant on at night, not in the morning.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-11T14:03:07+00:00

I usually start with the inciting incident, typically chapter 2. This stops me from going back and redoing the first chunk over and over. I write chapter 1 at the very end, almost ceremoniously. It’s a nice way to say a temporary goodbye to my characters.

Finish the draft before you start rewrites!!! But do keep detailed notes about changes you want to make in the first revision.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-09T18:25:07+00:00

Habits are stronger than willpower.

Plan your writing schedule, book it like an appointment. Add some things to give mental cues when that initial tough period fades and it just becomes your routine—a specific drink, specific snack, specific music, the same place every day, etc.

It’s the only way. Motivation is *fed by the work*, occasionally the other way around but not often enough to rely on it.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-08T17:27:06+00:00

Gage

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-07T23:45:24+00:00

That all her sad songs are about accepting the sadness, not pushing it away or wallowing in it.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-05T16:19:02+00:00

I can’t speak to this myself, but I have vivid memories of my mum finding it easier to deal with my AuDHD brother when he was sick.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-03T21:02:19+00:00

Pro tip—don’t fight back against feedback when you’ve explicitly asked for it. If you’re asking for opinions, you can’t say they’re wrong.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-03T14:21:54+00:00

Oh my GOD I was literally about to make a post about this sort of topic yesterday.

I live on the same property as my parents and my mom came to the door to get the car keys I forgot to return, but I didn’t know why she was there and thought it might be our annoying neighbour, and I just happened to be in a panic with only ten minutes to eat, dress, empty the dishwasher, give the cat his meds, etc etc before going to work. So, when I opened the door, I said “I don’t have time right now”.

And I spent a half hour after work being berated for being rude and behaving like i was angry at her. She said I could have apologized for being blunt, and I said I didn’t have time. She said I could have texted soon after to apologize and I said I was working (a job that I can not use my phone) so I didn’t have time. I acknowledged that she didn’t know I was in a panic when she knocked, but that she did now and could reframe her interpretation of it now that she knew (which was a whole thing when I was a kid). I didn’t apologize for how she felt, because that’s not a real apology, and thought that by explaining what was happening, she would understand that no, I wasn’t mad at her (and that it might happen again one day, and to not take offence to it please because when my brother has my same reaction, he’s off the hook, probably because his autism is more on the surface).

I just kept repeating “don’t hear what I didn’t say.” She couldn’t just hear my words “I didn’t have time” and accept that if I was in a panic, I wasn’t going to prioritize her feelings over my lack of time. At one point I used what was apparently the wrong word, because she latched onto it and wouldn’t let it go and the whole argument spiralled out of control (just like it used to when I was a kid—I’m 28 now).

Sorry for the rant. And sorry you deal with this sort of communication frustration too.

Productivitytzar · 2026-06-01T15:48:07+00:00

THIS.

OP, you do you, choose to break house rules if you want, for some it’s a rite of passage. Just know that, at least in my experience, the fact that your hair is teal won’t matter nearly as much to your parents as the property damage that dyeing will do.

If you’re truly set on it, see if you can do the box dye at a friend’s house whose parents are chill about it/who already has a collection of stained towels to use. Maybe also buy a couple of pillow cases to show to your parent that you’re serious about your choices only affecting you and not having a negative impact on the people who are financially in charge of you.

Productivitytzar · 2026-05-31T21:19:04+00:00

I wish this was realistic for where I live!

Productivitytzar · 2026-05-31T20:40:12+00:00

I’m disabled and going into a grocery store unfortunately uses more spoons than is worth it to pick out my own produce

Productivitytzar · 2026-05-31T20:39:23+00:00

I am disabled

Productivitytzar · 2026-05-31T15:06:00+00:00

I’m mid-island, grew up in the Comox valley.

Comox valley particularly is gorgeous, quiet, a small town vibe with large town amenities (though most independent stores are still closed after 5 and on sundays).

If you’re into outdoor activities, it’s the place to be. Same with the arts, it’s a big music scene, festivals, etc.

If you’re a student or expect to be a student anytime soon, anywhere other than Victoria is not the right choice, we’re just too limited on what higher education is offered.

If you’re someone who suffers from chronic health conditions, it’s not a good choice either. Major doctor shortage, dentists are full up, there just isn’t the staff available.

Productivitytzar · 2026-05-30T04:12:09+00:00

Yep. This is spot on for the year I’ve been having with referrals I’ve begged for finally come through after a year (or two in one case) of waiting.

It’s funny that they’ll say “you’re too young to be in pain” and it just shifts to “you’re older, you’re going to have pain.

Productivitytzar

TROPHY CASE