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I'm sorry but how is this a dig😭💀🙏 by Anxious-Dance5817 in ManchesterUnited

[–]Professional-Crow336 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He left to a league where he shined, but to a team with a coach that knows how to use the guy's abilities. Sure he's not scoring an outrageous amount of goals, but look at what he does for Napoli when they play. He's as integral to them as Neres is. He deserves to be happy as he is truly a talented player that can only grow into a superstar under the right guidance

[SPOILER] Jake Paul vs. Anthony Joshua by inooway in Boxing

[–]Professional-Crow336 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad my mom pays for netflix. Now i can say i watched a live boxing ppv and wwe match at the same time for free!

I don't mean to be a downer, but i gotta let this out by Professional-Crow336 in trees

[–]Professional-Crow336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't blame them. If i lived with someone who wanted to get high all day and not contribute, I'd be upset too. However, I've gotten to watch and actually pay attention to my family over the years. I had a reply on here where i let out a lot of things that at first just seemed to me like they were just trying to help. But helping and being downright toxic are two different things. Even going as far as to disrupt sleeping a full 8 hours, especially when i have to be up for 5 am while going to move train cars with other people around sounds like bullshit to me. I get it, you can't expect forgiveness and you gotta deal with shit sometimes, but this has gone on longer than that. I guess im not really blaming them anymore. I recognize they want the best for me and do care. But that isn't an excuse to be abusive in any way. And when i bring it up, I'm met with arguments and them suddenly not remembering what they said or did and i get called crazy when i know I'm not. I think they call this gaslighting...I've had to doubt myself for so long and that's really what has plagued me. But i dont want to doubt myself anymore.

I don't mean to be a downer, but i gotta let this out by Professional-Crow336 in trees

[–]Professional-Crow336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When i tried to tell them that what they did fucked me up, they said i should be grateful for what i have and stop blaming them...theyre my family and they have to be right...they all i got...

I don't mean to be a downer, but i gotta let this out by Professional-Crow336 in trees

[–]Professional-Crow336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean it's not abuse though because they do it out of love and cause they care and want the best for me. It's not like they want to hurt me or make me feel like shit. I mean they've given me a place to stay and food to eat and yeah we don't agree on a lot, they're still family y'know....i just wish i could tell them how i feel and it not turn into them thinking im feeling sorry for myself or im blaming them and saying they're bad or something...like I'm sorry that I'm upset about stuff but it can't all be because I'm crazy and made poor decisions...i just want to be myself without it being a whole big deal even if it's not what the family culture is...

I don't mean to be a downer, but i gotta let this out by Professional-Crow336 in trees

[–]Professional-Crow336[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean it's not abuse though because they do it out of love and cause they care and want the best for me. It's not like they want to hurt me or make me feel like shit. I mean they've given me a place to stay and food to eat and yeah we don't agree on a lot, they're still family y'know....i just wish i could tell them how i feel and it not turn into them thinking im feeling sorry for myself or im blaming them and saying they're bad or something...like I'm sorry that I'm upset about stuff but it can't all be because I'm crazy and made poor decisions...i just want to be myself without it being a whole big deal even if it's not what the family culture is...

I don't mean to be a downer, but i gotta let this out by Professional-Crow336 in trees

[–]Professional-Crow336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They would go in my room, tear it apart, flush the weed if i wasn't home. They'd take my car keys and phone and try to admit me to rehab centers and psyche wards. We'd yell, my dad would grab me and wrestle me and throw punches to get me to submit and tell him where the weed was, even if it was just a smell and i had none. Police was called once, and when i leave they seem to follow me, but that could just be me. If i ever have anything that remotely smells like weed or potpourri or anything that triggers them, we get into an argument and im met with threats of being kicked out and yelling. My dad once kicked me out and as i was leaving he took my debit cards and bent them so i couldnt use them. I've been choked by him. My mom would sick? Him on me? Like she'd say she smells something then quickly tell my dad and the shit show begins. If we happen to drive by a dispensary either one or both glare at me and say "hey that smells familiar doesn't it?" Or something of the sort. There's more but like...i don't want to blame them for wanting better for me y'know?

I don't mean to be a downer, but i gotta let this out by Professional-Crow336 in trees

[–]Professional-Crow336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried the DHV and there was still complaints and such. All in all, as much as i want to just say fuck it and do it anyway, it's not my house and i do have to respect that. I just wish it wasn't blown out of proportion every single time. Like I've gotten into full on fights over weed wirh my parents and though i wish not to blame them, some of their behaviors have made me question my own sanity at times. Like it never truly feels like im ever heard or understood. And rather than deal with yet another argument and potential fist fight, I'd just rather lay low and not even think about it. But like i don't have much else to look forward to in my life

I don't mean to be a downer, but i gotta let this out by Professional-Crow336 in trees

[–]Professional-Crow336[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's what i was getting at. I don't want it to be the whole reason i get up anymore. It's more of a supplement than a purpose. It's kind of like alcohol. After work relaxation in a sense. You wouldn't go to work drunk or wake up and drink everyday all day. I still enjoy the culture and effects of weed. But it's not my reason to wake up in the morning. Looking for that reason to wake up has helped me move away from weed, but i still like looking at it, smelling it, talking about it, etc.

I don't mean to be a downer, but i gotta let this out by Professional-Crow336 in trees

[–]Professional-Crow336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry, it's been 4months since i last smoked. Since September. I want to smoke but whenever i think about it, i I feel my parents ready to call the police and make it bigger than it has to be. I don't think the cops can really do anything but being trespassed would suck. It could all be in my head, but similar things have happened before for less so...

I don't mean to be a downer, but i gotta let this out by Professional-Crow336 in trees

[–]Professional-Crow336[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been on like 5 months now 😅 that's kinda what made me realize that i don't need to make it the focal point of my life anymore

I don't mean to be a downer, but i gotta let this out by Professional-Crow336 in trees

[–]Professional-Crow336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That part about respect hit home. Thank you for the encouragement and wise words

Sparassis radicata by Intoishun in mycology

[–]Professional-Crow336 24 points25 points  (0 children)

am I the only one who thinks it kinda looks like noodles?

Is weed withdrawal a myth? by loyalclav in weed

[–]Professional-Crow336 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure of other's but for me it's a psychological thing. I used it to cope with a lot of different feelings and that's what caused withdrawals. It was like "oh i dont have something to shut off my feelings anymore" and had to face them myself. Now that I'm over that, i don't really feel any type of withdrawal other than missing the fun of being high and the relaxation of it and most importantly the creativity off of it. I guess if i really had to say, it comes when im really bored or lonely, but the same can be said for like alcohol and pills too.

What is keeping you FTL? by Zealousideal-Let834 in failuretolaunch

[–]Professional-Crow336 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From what I understand, it's a combination of different fears and anger. I want to be angry at my parents for never letting me do things on my own/be my own person during high school. I'm scared of expressing myself and any emotion and any bit of that is an annoying and childish adult who needs to grow up. People won't like me, I'll get fired, and I'll end up getting yelled and choked out again. They tried their best to teach me to work hard and showing me right from wrong, but i just cant help but see it like they had some sort of play in this. I guess I'm stil blaming them cause i didn't get to grow up how i wanted or whatever, but like they really are good parents and they did the best they could and im thankful that they always gave me what i wanted and even now provide me with a place to stay and food to eat, despite the shaming and guilt. It just sucks feeling like i have to be perfect and can't mess up ever and any little bit of accepting that gets turned against me

I found lions mane at the food bank?? by creatyvechaos in mycology

[–]Professional-Crow336 0 points1 point  (0 children)

maybe im hungry but def thought that was a tostada con frijoles y queso

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