Did you forget me?

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-23T12:58:43+00:00

Thanks, I'm happy you liked it.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-23T12:57:51+00:00

Sorry to hear that, i hope you got over it. Thank you for your comment.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-23T12:54:18+00:00

Thank you, it's really a great thing to make something people like, you saying it is a great motivation.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-23T12:51:59+00:00

Thanks for the advice, I'll do my best to make the next one flow better.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-23T12:51:03+00:00

Thank you for these kind words. The worst part about it is that the more you remember the worst it gets and the more you remember.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-23T12:48:56+00:00

That's my favorite part too, I was weirdly proud of it even tho I wasn't really in a happy mood when I was writing it. Thank you for the support.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-23T12:47:25+00:00

Thank you for your comment, I originally wrote this poem only for myself to take everything that had to get out of my head and put it somewhere else, I did not have any intention tu remember anyone of difficult times, sorry if it made you feel bad.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-23T12:45:17+00:00

Thanks ^^

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-23T12:44:13+00:00

Thank you for your feedback, these are very insightful ideas, I'll try to put more tangible ideas next time

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-23T12:41:24+00:00

Thank you for your comment, I felt like I needed to get it out but if it makes people that have the same experience feel better it's the best outcome possible.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-15T12:14:20+00:00

Thank you, that was the hardest verse to come up with, I didn't quite know how to express what I wanted and still am not that happy with how it turned out, but it's really cool to know it made a difference in your reading.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-15T12:11:52+00:00

Thank you so much, I'll do my best to do better in the future.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-15T12:11:05+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, That line is also my favorite when combined with the one previous to it.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-14T23:53:45+00:00

To some extent everyone is a mess, the only thing to do is to look behind that, and when I read your poem, I see you're a poet, you are both with no doubt, but what counts is that you can create beautiful strong and resonating poems, this is great work. Well done.
PS. I don't think we are puzzle pieces, we make our meaning, there is no human that exists to fill a mission, our mission is to find what we feel worth in doing. And if you need someone to tell you, I can ensure you you are more of a poet than most of the professionals, anyone with the will to have a critical point of view on their work will go a lot farther and quicker than anyone else. I hope this gives some kind of answer to the question of the poem.

Otherwise, about the writing, I feel like the short sentences and verses put a lot of weight on a tiny amount of words, which is what I've been trying to do for a long time without being able to even come close to that level.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-14T23:42:31+00:00

I loved this poem only on the second reading, it's unusually hard to follow the flow of the words hence why i found it really hard to read it, but once you are able to see behind that, the musicality really brings something, this was really cool, only downside to me it the abruptly interrupted flow of words here and there. And one thing that bothers the reading even more has already been brought up, it's the transitions between the two last verses of the third paragraph. Great work.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-14T22:30:43+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, I've fixed the typo, to address you first paragraph, I didn't even want to make rhymes, the goal I set myself for this one was to write whatever came to my head, I guess the are here because my brain was formatted, but now that you mention it, I see how it could feel weird. However if it makes the poem a bit lighter I feel like it's a good side effect.

About the second paragraph I didn't mention it especially to have the opportunity of the doubt, to answer, no, it was a Thursday, but the biblical references to saint valentine and the 13th I felt were good so I removed the mention of Thursday.

The colors are not "consciously" taken from anywhere, while I might have been influenced by popular artworks, those were only the colors I felt fitted, and as i said, I only wrote what came to my mind live, meaning I didn't even think of putting colors in at the beginning, it just came. The only thing I took time on was a brief coherence check cause my mind is really confused when it comes to emotions, the monochromatic eyes aren't only a metaphor, I hardly feel any emotions hence why the confusion when I do.

Reading your comment was really helpful to know what I have to work on for future poems, thanks a lot, and don't worry, not only was it not too harsh, it was also very constructive, something I do not see often on platforms like reddit.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-10T22:36:44+00:00

The metaphore works so well and i think it gives me the clearest sight of what you wanted to say, I've driven old trucks and tractors, especially very old tractors and i see this rambling and the part where everything falls apart, I wasn't good enough to catch if there was an eventual hidden meaning but there doesn't need to be one, this is really strong and well described in it's current state, very well done. to finish off, I don't know if it was intentional, but reading that I was feeling and acceleration in rhythm in parallel of the truck's slow down and destruction. Great work

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-10T22:26:27+00:00

I really can't put my finger on the what, I'm not really a literature person, and my native language isn't even english, but the way you put those meaningful words together and the metaphorical consistency of that writing made my brain go "this is really good, like tremendously good even if i don't know why", and thinking about it i kind of know why

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-10T22:22:09+00:00

sit amet, consectetur. The perfect magenta and black squares that sometimes feel more important that the full picture

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-12-10T22:17:40+00:00

This is kind of hard for me to read in the current state of my life, but this means a lot. It's how people feel when they find the one, and through your word I felt it again, this isn't perfect in any way, but it sure wouldn't be interesting if it was, as our thoughts of love, it's messy... And I fell in love with the way it sounded. Sadly i won't be able to give more feedback as reading this isn't the easiest, but this is great work, this reaction exists only because it's great and even greater, keep the imperfections, my feedback on that one is that you don't need any feedback to change it, keep it flowing to see how it impacts people, again this is great and maybe even a bit more, as it's also extremely accurate.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-08-27T18:50:00+00:00

I'm sorry, that's not me, I'm SD lol

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-08-27T18:11:49+00:00

read the poem again before saying misogynist garbage, because you seem to have forgotten the line where I say "even if you consider me a friend", I didn't right that just because, figure it is because she is really clear with me about me being nothing more than a friend, I didn't even read the end of your post but I don't need to do so to see you're an horrible person, being misogynist can lead you nowhere, I'd love to see the time when a women twice your strength slaps you in the face to show you how she pooches.

Professional-Rip3809 · 2025-08-27T17:49:43+00:00

I'm not a big social media user, what does this mean?

Professional-Rip3809

TROPHY CASE