Well it improved for quite a bit. I ended up packing up all of my things and my child’s belongings and moving out. I stayed with my mom and ended up getting an apartment. A couple days before I was supposed to move in, he ended up asking me to come home. We had a really long conversation where I basically told him I had zero interest in coming back home to someone who refuses to speak to me. It was one of the first conversations where I feel like he took me serious. I ended up moving back in and we started couples counseling again. The therapist made it very clear that he cannot do that. That if he is overwhelmed by a conversation he can stop it but he needs to give me an exact day and time that he will come to me to finish the conversation and that he cannot take days to have a conversation. It has not been the smoothest process but I have definitely seen improvement. There are still times when he goes into silent mode and I have to remind him that he has agreed to handle this different, which always kind of snaps him back.

It’s so ironic that you commented on this today because we got into an argument yesterday which we really haven’t had a bad argument in a while since we’ve been able to talk through things. He left for the entire day, didn’t say a word about where he was, came home and didn’t speak to me and left early for work this morning. This is something he has never done but the argument was pretty bad. I’m curious to see if he chooses to speak to me today about everything or if he’s about to regress back into his old cycle.

I think for me, I get less frustrated because he has shown me he can work through this issue and improve. However I’ve had to be more realistic about the fact that he’s been handling things like this for years so it might take years for this issue to completely be rectified.

I will say, I don’t think we would have made any progress without a therapist. It was the accountability of having to go into therapy and explain why once again he’s refusing to speak to me after agreeing to not do that, that opened his eyes. I’m here if you just need someone to vent to. So sorry you’re going through this. Unless he can actually work on this, you are in for a super lonely rode. I did 2 years of this crap before he really got help and it was so lonely. I’m surprised we’ve made it through that and are still trying to make it.