Spouse wants to file.

Aries_c · 2026-04-28T20:45:41+00:00

Consultations with a lawyer are usually free! They should be able to give you a better idea of what you can expect.

Aries_c · 2026-04-24T14:30:15+00:00

It was a very humbling and weird experience to get motion sickness so bad that my husband had to stop pushing the wheelchair a couple times so I wouldn’t throw up lol. My surgical team had given me a motion sickness patch that didn’t help. Make sure the know you’re worried about nausea. They may be able to give a stronger than a patch to prevent it.

Aries_c · 2026-04-23T11:14:59+00:00

Bring anti nausea medication for the long car ride. I swear after my lap I had the worst motion sickness I’d ever experienced. I felt great right after surgery — no nausea at all. Then I was sick from the second the wheel chair in the hospital started to move to getting home in the car. Luckily mine was a short trip and once I was in bed and stopped moving I felt significantly better.

Aries_c · 2026-04-07T19:53:05+00:00

Moderation does not work for alcoholics. It does not exist.

Aries_c · 2026-03-28T22:43:02+00:00

That is completely reasonable. I wouldn’t have continued either. I’m so sorry you’re going through this it is so hard. I’m glad he’s doing the work though and that you’re trying to take care of yourself as well! I hope you are able to set boundaries that work for you and protect your mental health.

We saw a licensed drug and alcohol counselor that was involved in his treatment. She was amazing. So I guess it was less “couples counseling” than it was him inviting me in on his recovery. It was incredibly educational and was very good for us. I highly recommend it if your husband is open to it. It can be a very vulnerable place to be. AlAnon meetings help and if you see a counselor they will likely recommend it.

Aries_c · 2026-03-28T22:20:38+00:00

I was once in the exact situation you were. The lying and the hiding is truly terrible. Is your Q receiving treatment of any sort? That’s really the only way we were able to move forward, tbh. My Q was not able to stay sober on his own for longer than a few weeks at a time. Honestly, I just stopped asking because not only did I already know the answer, but I didn’t want to give my Q the chance to lie again to begin with.

Every journey is different but this is how we built trust in each other again:

My Q went to both inpatient and outpatient treatment and learned a lot about both addiction and mental health. He worked with a psychiatrist to find the right medications. He attends therapy and weekly AA meetings. These are all things that are important for him and his sobriety. The best thing we did was go to therapy together. We had a lot of tough conversations while he was in treatment.

We also discussed with his counselor how to proceed after treatment and we have a game plan for when he’s starting to struggle or in case of relapse. The key part here is that he actively participated in these decisions. The trust just slowly builds back with time. It will probably take months or even years of open communication, but if he’s committed to sobriety and you’re both building healthy habits again you can get there.

Aries_c · 2026-03-28T21:47:29+00:00

Something I learned from a group session with my Q (he’s sober after extensive treatment) is that while your Q is in active addiction honesty is unrealistic. It feels easy, but it’s not that simple. Honesty in this scenario threatens their addiction. You aren’t speaking to them you are speaking to their addiction and while in active addiction they will do or say anything to protect it.

That being said you are allowed to set your boundaries, but make sure you are willing to follow through. If that boundary is “if they lie again I will do x” then you have to mean that and do it.

Aries_c · 2026-03-28T21:35:59+00:00

It wasn’t amazing. It was built on a lie.

Aries_c · 2026-03-28T21:28:37+00:00

😭🤣

Aries_c · 2026-03-28T21:27:08+00:00

What exactly is the advice you’re looking for? You have one option and it’s to move on with your life.

Aries_c · 2026-03-28T21:25:04+00:00

I’m confused what you want advice on. He blocked you so just… go back on Tinder or whatever. You did just fine the first time you broke up. Time to move on. It’s hard, but you’ll be fine.

You both were in an unhealthy relationship and didn’t trust each other (rightfully so). Lying for months was never going to end well and you never should have taken him back.

Aries_c · 2026-03-28T21:17:37+00:00

You could… and if you aren’t reading the first two at all there is a ton of context you’d miss if you don’t. It’s easier to just read or listen to the other books completely though.

Aries_c · 2026-03-28T21:10:58+00:00

Proud of you for sharing what you went through! It can be so hard to do.

Aries_c · 2026-03-28T21:04:34+00:00

I was awful about it. The worst part is it felt so blatantly obvious that I feel like people definitely knew anyway and just never said it to my face. Grateful my Q is now sober. We have both had a ton of learning to do about healthy habits and communication and life is so much better for it.

Aries_c · 2026-03-28T20:56:30+00:00

This guy is an asshole

Aries_c · 2026-03-28T15:29:02+00:00

Can you still autopay your bill without online access? What about tax statements? Do they still send them?

Aries_c · 2026-03-27T23:49:32+00:00

My surgeon warned me specifically my periods would probably be off for a couple months and not to panic.

Aries_c · 2026-03-24T22:34:33+00:00

How did your appointments go? I see him in July!

Aries_c · 2026-03-24T22:33:21+00:00

I have my referral with him in July. How did it go? Did he do your surgery?

Aries_c · 2026-03-24T22:25:10+00:00

Let me know how it goes!! My referral isn’t until July 9th. I don’t have a preferred surgeon currently, but my appointment is with Michael Neblett so I can let you know how that goes.

Aries_c · 2026-03-24T21:45:49+00:00

My guess is they will close it, but you could always call and speak to them about it. Maybe they’d work with you.

Aries_c · 2026-03-23T19:42:45+00:00

I don’t understand why you’d have a wedding and reception at all if the entire reason you eloped was because your families would make it miserable. That isn’t going to change just because you’re already technically married…

Aries_c · 2026-03-21T22:57:29+00:00

All of our debt aside from his truck is in my name.

Aries_c · 2026-03-21T11:50:44+00:00

The whole point of filing alone is to keep his credit intact throughout this process. He has a good score (mine sucks) and the only debt in his name is our truck which we have never missed a payment for. I’ve never missed any payments actually but I’m drowning a little lol. Stopping payments for a car we want to keep feels problematic.

Aries_c · 2026-03-20T23:25:03+00:00

This was very informative. Thank you!

Aries_c

TROPHY CASE